Mastodawn

dan@DTO Oct 28, 2025

I hate that anyone named Melissa will now be associated with this potentially deadly hurricane. I have a friend named Katrina who changed her name to Kat after the 2005 hurricane killed nearly 1400 people.

Maybe we could just name hurricanes/cyclones after the oil companies and the billionaires who profit off them? Have to reuse the names a lot, but we can just add numbers, like we do for Kings or Popes: ExxonMobil III or BP XIX.

#Hurricane #Melissa

Jo - pièce de résistance Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga exactly. I second this motion!

🟥 Eveline Sulman 🇳🇱🇪🇺🇺🇦Oct 27, 2025

@JoBlakely @kimlockhartga and I second this seconding!

acb Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga Elder Melissas associated with the computer virus: “first time?”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melissa_%28computer_virus%29

Melissa (computer virus) - Wikipedia

John Cook Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga gets my vote 👍

John Mierau Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga LOVE.

viq Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga @glyph could also append CEO or board member names to the company name

Knud Jahnke Oct 27, 2025

We should name them after fossil fuel companies. This one will be the "Koch industries hurricane from 2025".

Amro has been Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga
@MelissaBearTrix care to weigh in?

Jeroen Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga just a practical question:
Are all letters of the alphabet filled in?
Some are easy, like X of BP. But what about the Q?

Jo - pièce de résistance Oct 27, 2025

@Jeroen89 @kimlockhartga
QuidProQuo

Mark Burton Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga
The botanical name for lemon balm.

oshy Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga No fucking Joke, how about Hurricane Geico or Hurricane Nationwide

Soozcat has moved to raphus.social Oct 28, 2025

@ocean @kimlockhartga If they can plaster their names on sports venues, they can handle having forces of destruction named for them.

@Soozcat @ocean amen

Amy de Buitléir Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga Considering "Amy" just wreaked havoc in Europe, I'm very much on board with your proposal.

craignicol Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga @k9ox take one from each list, Exxon Trump, BP Putin, if the storm is going to be unforgettable, may as well make sure the connections behind them are too.

EmpathicQubit Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga Once I was served by a waitress named Isis

Michael Wyman Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga @Gargron also the politicians who protect those companies’ profits.

nanowiz Oct 27, 2025

Rex Tillerson has a ring
Or, how ' boat Jamie Dimond ??

quangobaud Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga
... says Tropical Storm Kim Possible 1983 ...

isotope239 🥸💻🇺🇦😣Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga I LOVE that idea! Brilliant! ExxonMobil VI, Gazprom XIX, and so on!

Anthony David Oct 27, 2025

Great idea. Instead of Tropical Cyclone Alfred, we should have called it Tropical Cyclone Adani.

DoubleTreble 🥰🇵🇸🌍🇺🇦😺💚🧶🫖Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga
Pity anyone called Karen!!
They're not all 'that Karen'

Karen D 🇨🇦Oct 27, 2025

@DoubleTreble @kimlockhartga

Came here to say this.

Kareng🍁Oct 27, 2025

@DoubleTreble @kimlockhartga
Oh yeah! Really wish my Mom had gone with another option!

CourtCantrell will not comply Nov 8, 2025

@DoubleTreble @kimlockhartga I never use "Karen" as a pejorative, because I have an aunt who's delightful and a dear friend of nearly 3 decades who would simply never behave that way.

Dom Arbuthnott Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga my daughter's name is #Melissa and her boyfriend's name is Storm. They are lying low at the moment

@dominic oh gosh

Lam 'al Adie Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga
Might as well add the full name of the current CEO plus those of the three biggest investors to that list.

After all, shame must become personal again.

Wolfeh Oct 27, 2025

Tech bros
Want to overthrow... yeah
Our freedom and will from coast to coast
Busting unions, spilling oil
Bulldozing forests into soil
Watching all their workers toil
And now, Melissa...
Mmm... mm-mmm... mm-mmm, mmm...

Hurricanes
Each season it's the same... all the same...
And everyone knows the damn storm's name...
Taking shelter, getting by...
Roofs are flying through the sky...
The king's still fat and warm and dry...
Deadly Melissa...
Mmm... mm-mmm... mm-mmm, mmm...

(Also: I vote for calling this storm Hurricane Palantir II.)

LordOfQuails "(/^^^(/''Oct 27, 2025

Why not start with the first name that springs to mind:

#Melissa #hurricane

babylonsurvivingcrew Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga 💯

Sindarina, Edge Case Detective Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga @jeridansky Personally, I'd settle for just men's names, but billionaires would be acceptable too.

webhat Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga iirc a UK weather service was crowdsourcing names for storm systems recently, and people were writing in the major oil and gas companies as suggestions

@webhat excellent.

Maximummium Overacticans Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga if we're going to do that, those named companies should be made responsible for the social and economic costs of the storms. #onbrand

ArchaeoIain Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga that was always a good idea. Start with the billionaires. The Elon Musk hurricane, the whateverhisnameis Bezos huricane, the Zuckerberg hurricane.

Flipper 🐬🏳️‍🌈Oct 27, 2025

@ArchaeoIain @kimlockhartga i believe Bezos's given name is Douchebag.

ArchaeoIain Oct 27, 2025

@flipper @kimlockhartga that was acquired rather than given

ArchaeoIain Oct 27, 2025

@flipper @kimlockhartga and if you look at my post about it, you will see that his weather event doesn't have enough ars

Arena Cops 🇺🇦✌Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga Instead of embarrassingly naming the Gulf of Mexico "Gulf of the Rotten Orange" name hurricanes "Trump 1", "Trump 2", "Trump 3", .... per season! 😎👋🌪🍊

Michel Patrice Oct 27, 2025

The number could be the year, for instance, Exxon 2025.

Tom 🇨🇦Oct 27, 2025

Fantastic idea!

Farah 🏳️‍🌈🖖🏼Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga Yes! Please!!

@kimlockhartga Musk 2025.1 for the first tropical storm of 2025.

🍂Melissa🌠Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga My name is actually Melissa, so I feel your pain.

@EmeraldRose oh I am sorry. We should not be using people names for deadly storms.

🍂Melissa🌠Oct 28, 2025

@kimlockhartga It's all right. I mean, I figured i'd be named for something some day. Too bad it's a catigory five hurricane.

Fairlyfedup Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga My mom's name was Katrina and it really upset her too but she named me after hurrican Donna from the 60's. I wasn't upset by it but I wasn't born yet when it happened. I totally understand how it could upset someone watching the news coverage.

inamruzui Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga honestly first thing I thought was a scam bot for the name

JackPearse Oct 27, 2025

@kimlockhartga one of the best ideas ever!

Rusty Ring Oct 27, 2025

How about Star Trek characters? "Hurricane Sarek" actually sounds quite reasonable.

@RustyRing hells yeah.

Rusty Ring Oct 28, 2025

🖖

Malka Beth Oct 28, 2025

@kimlockhartga I think we should add big retailers though, like Walmart, Crogers & Amazon, as they all profiteer from storms too...

@BrahmaBelarusian indeed

Sam Chavez (she/they/he) 🌈🤠Oct 28, 2025

@kimlockhartga the history of hurricane naming is actually patriarchal!

https://www.history.com/articles/why-do-hurricanes-have-names

HISTORY

The HISTORY Channel - Geschichte erleben! The HISTORY Channel ist der deutschsprachige Pay-TV-Sender für spannende Dokumentationen und macht die Faszination von Menschen und Ereignissen täglich greifbar!

HISTORY

Patrick Morris Miller Oct 28, 2025

@kimlockhartga "This hurricane was made possible by a generous donation from..."

Soozcat has moved to raphus.social Oct 28, 2025

@kimlockhartga The flip side of this includes people who kinda love their name's newfound infamy. My friend Mitch got a huge kick out of the headlines generated by Hurricane Mitch (not the actual destruction, mind you, just the headlines) -- things like "Mitch Bearing Down on Central America" and "Mitch Pounds Honduras" gave him the giggles.