Hey all y'all need to stop using "guys" in mixed company.
- My trans girlfriend is not a guy.
- My cis girlfriend is not a guy.
- I'm not a guy (or a girl, but that's not relevant here).
Misgendering is misgendering—even if "everyone's doing it".
Patriarchy shouldn't be the default.
@stephaniepixie @alice There's some complexity there, at least for me personally. When I'm in a group of women, and the group is addressed in a gender-neutral way, that can sometimes feel like it invalidates that I'm a woman (depending *highly* on the circumstance and who's doing the addressing). On the other hand, "ladies," while problematic in other ways as you note, can also be affirming in that way.
Language is difficult and complicated...!
@xgranade It’s more the cultural and gender expectations attached to language that people either gravitate to or are repelled by.
To my mind “ladies” has a very patriarchal othering connotation. Like the number of years people would say “lady cop” or Arsenal Ladies (the football club, in case you don’t follow sports) to point out they are secondary to the default male.
But I suppose that’s also why it might be appealing if one seeks validation and inclusion in the group they have been excluded from.
Ideally there would be other ways of using language to include people without using such archaic and gender-specific language.
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