If you are married or in a long term relationship living with someone for years how did you meet your partner?
(Pick whatever fits best)
(Not everyone needs or wants this kind of relationship but I'm curious about how those who did and found it paired up.)
My match profile began "Often when you are hanging out with me it might seem like I'm ignoring you."
@4nti @futurebird
I think it gave us 69%? But i know that all of the 100% dates i went on were definitely not taking off.
I remember that i started to think they were not trying to actually give me good matches because then i would stop generating content on their really fun website
@RnDanger @4nti oh yeah, can relate.
I had enough awareness that I might be memorable for all the wrong reasons that I always came on first dates with a funny memento.
"I'm gonna give this to you now so that in case this goes horribly wrong, you can remember me as the random guy who gave you this funny object instead of the worst date you ever had from that dating disaster site."
I kept having to think up new humorous offerings as I exhausted my supply of ones I stocked up on. This was before e-commerce so it took some effort to build up an inventory of my favorite trinkets.
@futurebird Met my partner about 20 years ago on OKCupid, which used to have a really cool matching system.
They subsequently fucked up their algorithm to make the match scores look higher for everyone, which made it almost impossible to pick out the *actually* high matches. -.-
(And then sold out to Match, and that's about when I stopped following the story.)
@futurebird I put hints about my social media profile in my Match.com profile. My future wife was looking at the site with a friend to poke fun at the posers when she came across my profile and decided she liked what she saw. Got a social media DM from her not long after that. We chatted for a bit in messaging, shortly bumped it up to phone calls, and then had a movie date so there would be less talking and therefore less awkwardness. Never looked back.
I never had success with other paying customers on the site. In fact, most of it was traumatic. But the same could be said for my dating life with people I met IRL before that.
I met my husband on an online dating site too. We exchanged emails soon after. He was working on a ship off the coast of Nigeria at that time & sent the most interesting emails. He also knew what a mandrill was. Knowing about types of primates was highly important to me, as a zookeeper who worked with them. A lot of the other guys I'd met online were hilariously clueless.
@futurebird in the early days (early 2000s) OKCupid in particular felt more like a community of (often nerdy) people, many of whom happened to be looking for dates.
I feel like there's an opportunity now for a similar kind of fedi community, where there is an expectation that folks are there to flirt and make connections, but no profit motive distorting the scene. A series of polls and some bots to collate data and create match % numbers using your choice of algorithm...
@futurebird Really really mixed. And I suspect it varies a lot by geography.
Here in SF, I had a lot of disappointment and frustration using the apps over the last five years. I also met a lot of really terrific women, including someone I’m seeing now who I’m crazy about. So yeah it *is* terrible, but you can also still meet someone wonderful with enough persistence and luck. May you never have to!
university
EDIT: Or is that considered part of "school"? Not sure, as English is not my first language.
@futurebird Voted "none of these", but unsure if that's the correct one. Wife and I first met via introductions by my brother and his wife.
I was complaining about relationships to my brother, wife was complaining about relationships to my brother's wife's sister. Brother sent me an email: "Hey! Go meet this girl, here's here e-mail.". Sent an email, arranged date, 3.5 months later engaged. Celebrated 11 years of marriage this April.
I think more like local scene?
@futurebird Met her through common friends in NYC, she was on holiday I was an exchange student there. We went to watch Inglourious Basterds on the night it came out, and kept in touch online for a few months until eventually I flew back to Europe.
Edit: to clarify, we got together right after we met again in Europe, married a few years later, and our daughter is currently playing with the cats.
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