Mastodawn

Gentle Golem Jul 17, 2024

On the topic of, out of the blue, discussing your children's belief in Santa Clause with a stranger (me):

I (now) understand that culturally this was used as an indicator of the maturity of the children, and that this interaction is, culturally, normal.

But as an outsider, it's kinda weird, right?

There was obviously sub-communication behind the statement that I missed. She was using body language to convey her meaning, and I was a blind man unable to see.

To someone who picked up the intended meaning, it would be normal, but without that, it's objectively weird, right?

"My child believes that a mythical figure is real" is not something I would expect to learn after knowing someone for less than 2 hours.

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Gentle Golem Jul 17, 2024

But, to be real here, the reason I made the post in the first place was because it was very uncomfortable for me.

Basically, it made me feel very much "othered" and I didn't like it.

It wasn't intentional, but it WAS something that put me on the outside and reminded that I don't fully fit in or belong.

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Gentle Golem Jul 17, 2024

I thought sharing the experience with other Jews might help dissipate the "otherness" of the experience.

We could laugh at how silly it is, and the feeling would dissipate.

3/3

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littlemiao

Jul 17, 2024

@noharmpun The whole cultural institution of Santa will never stop being weird to me. I never had any peers who “believed in” Santa. I think that is part of it.

Also, why would a parent be talking about Christmas now? Isn’t it kind of the wrong time of year for that?

Kind of tangential, but my earliest Christmas-related memory is learning the Jingle bells Batman smells song from my brother. I was four.

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Jeremy (יעקב) 🇺🇦

@littlemiao @noharmpun

Oh wow, I swear I sang that song all the time, definitely more often than the "real" version.

And yes, Golem, it is weird how it is like 3 layers deep on cultural assumptions.

FWIW, what you were describing here is how it feels to be autistic where we have to unpack, exactly like you were doing here, multiple parts of every interaction to figure out which assumptions went into it so that we can understand what was said to me and how we can effectively respond in a way that they'll understand. It can feel like you're talking an entirely different language.

Fortunately, it means when we learn to mask well, we can help others in interpreting when they get lost.

#ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Autism #Communication #Neurodivergent