metlstorm

Did you guys know that tomatoes contain seeds that you can use to make other tomatoes?! This shit is WIIIILD, yo. You can just PIRATE tomatoes!?

I grew this! In my lounge! From a seed!?! I totally would download a tomato.

And i thought COMPUTERS were crazy.  

Jul 5, 2024 at 2:32amWeb
Show threadGuillaume RossJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm paging the Ripe Ingredients Association of America
Show threadTheHerpaDerpaSherpaJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm self replicating code, moving both vertically and laterally in your environment? Sounds like and Advanced Persistent Tomato
Show threadmetlstormJul 5, 2024
@TheHerpaDerpaSherpa oh shit, i am gonna have to ring the service desk and tell them I ... I uhhh, I _ate_ it. Are they going to going to need to... extract the logs?! OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE
Show threadTheHerpaDerpaSherpaJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm log analysis can be a messy process ...
Show threadmetlstormJul 5, 2024
@TheHerpaDerpaSherpa prolly explains why splunk is so expensive - the sheer volume of wet wipes they must go thru...
Show threadJames BannanJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm This is so great. Is that tomato DRM-free? Or is it part of a pay-to-eat micro-transaction?
Show threadsmells of bikesJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm Neato thing about tomatoes, that doesn't hold for a lot of other plants, is you can cut off a whole branch, stick it in water for two weeks, and have a whole new plant with a decent root structure, ready to go. It's like downloading a tomato but even faster than the seed route.
Show threadMattWhyJul 8, 2024
@smellsofbikes @metlstorm Faster than the LNP approved NBN anyway
Show threadlloydJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm Do you know how many seeds are in one of those things? That's some serious amplification for your DDoS (Distributed Delivery of Seeds)
Show threadB Thoreau ๐Ÿ›ธJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm Okay, but is there a big corporate ag company who owns the patent on the genome for your tomato who is going to come after you for your thieving and sheer moxie?
Show threadmetlstormJul 5, 2024
@Thoreau that is the dystopian timeline we live in, so yes. Inevitably. They'll be all "look son, see right here on this here blockchain, it says we mined this tomato 13 months ago at the cost of 8 kilotonnes of carbon dioxide, so cough up..."
Show threadAmbient SpongeJul 5, 2024

@metlstorm This reminds me of this great Mitchell and Webb sketch.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pDTiFkXgEE

The Mitchell and Webb Situation - Farming

YouTube
Show threadJerry ๐Ÿฆ™๐Ÿ’๐Ÿฆ™Jul 5, 2024
@metlstorm its a sad day when people start pirating tomatoes instead of buying them at the grocery store like god intended.
Show threadPhyxisJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm @jerry Monsanto will join the chat shortly. ;-)
Show threadPierce Nichols, Yak BarberJul 8, 2024
@jerry @metlstorm The funny thing is that even if you value your labor at minimum wage... the grocery store tomato is cheaper. Modern ag is *VERY* efficient.
Show threadideaPDishJul 5, 2024

@metlstorm
W, w?!!
You have a lounge where you grow tomatoes?

What do you grow in your couch?

Show threadMoriJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm wait until you find out how humans are made!
Show threadmetlstormJul 5, 2024
@mori ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ they put their what in the where?
Show threadMoriJul 8, 2024
@metlstorm indeed in deed
Show threadNico Jul 5, 2024
@metlstorm I need this analogy but for manure
Show threadsleepfreeparentJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm pirating tomatoes, you say...?
Show threadMatthias LiffersJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm Oh just you wait until you hear about what agritech companies like to do.
Show threadSenshฤซrลJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm I thought there would be a funy fact about tomatoes, but Bruh, that is in another way funny and meme ๐Ÿ—ฟ
Show threadqandrewJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm
Show threadMad Argon Jul 5, 2024
@metlstorm I had few plants from these seeds several years ago, biggest was almost 2 meters high. Unfortunately none of them even had flowers so no tomatoes 
Show threadLisPiJul 5, 2024
@madargon @metlstorm And this led me to lookup and apparently find that not all fruiting plants require pollination for fruiting. Huh.

Self-pollinating/self-fruitful vs not.
Show threadMartin HamiltonJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm <Monsanto has entered the chat>
Show threadSvenjaJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm yeah, same applies to Eggplants.
Show threadRedwan HossainJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm Unfortunately, in the eyes of corporate bootlickers you are a thief who just robbed the farmer out of his money and you are a poor freeloader
Show threadHylke Bons ๐ŸฅœJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm put a slice of cherry tomato in a pot. now got this.
Show threadMrs BeanbagJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5RrGFBbbSY
Mitchell and Webb situation - Farming - FULL VIDEO

YouTube
Show threadailepetJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm they still sell DRM-less tomatoes?
Show threadPat โœจJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm WHAATTT!!!
And I am working here 12 hours a day just so I can afford them 
Show threadDocRekdJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm you joke but monsanto actually made seed piracy a reality after #regualtoryCapture the #gmo "omg we're playing god" shit
https://geneticliteracyproject.org/2021/12/15/gmo-patent-controversy-terminator-genes-seed-piracy-forcing-farmers-buy-seeds/
GMO patent controversy: Terminator genes, seed piracy and 'forcing' farmers to buy seeds

Before I started learning about GMOs, I had heard about โ€œTerminator Genesโ€ and had been under the impression that many genetically modified seeds used this technology. Legend has it that GMOs are sterile due to terminator genes

Genetic Literacy Project
Show threadthe gripe ibisJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm my brother accidentally turned his compost into tomatoes. one carelessly discarded delicious red orb and whoops! tomatoes!
Show threadfear is not a WeltanschauungJul 5, 2024
got a pumpkin vine that way too but it never flowered
@thegarbagebird @metlstorm
Show threadJan DJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm
Show threadEvilKiru ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ธ he/himJul 5, 2024
@simulo @metlstorm Only because it's currently impossible.
Show threadJonathan HarkerJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm wait until you see what you can do with _chilli seeds_
Show threadjt7dJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm Sometimes it happens when you didn't even plan it! Do you compost? I guess we had some seeds end up in the compost, and _wham_ the next year we had cucumbers, squash, tomatoes, even pumpkins -- all growing in totally random places in the garden! ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ
Show threadAl Gray makes no resolutionsJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm Some of the store bought fruit and veggies are hybrids that don't pass on traits to their seeds. So there is the surprise factor.๐Ÿ‘
Show threadAnne-Martine๐Ÿ‹๐Ÿ‹โ€๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฅJul 5, 2024
@straydogear @metlstorm I would even say that lots of store bought tomatoes are hybrids, so do be carefull doing this. You might end up with poisonous produce. Better invest in a small packet of 'true to seed' tomatoes to grow your first crop: you can use the seeds from those to grow another generation.
Show threadGreg BellJul 5, 2024
@metlstorm plant anarchy
Show threadNafeon (Backup Account)Jul 5, 2024
@metlstorm they are like viruses. We placed a couple of seeds in boxes with dirt and now our whole balcony is covered in green stuff with those red weird tomatoes on them.
Show threadMaxwell (it/its)Jul 5, 2024
@metlstorm The suckers on a tomato plant snap right off without tools. You'll probably be removing suckers to thin your plants out, but you can just plant one and get a whole new plant that's genetically identical to its parent. It's almost as if nature had a plan.
Show threadTim HergertJul 6, 2024
@metlstorm obligatory
Show threadJeremy ListJul 6, 2024
@metlstorm my success rate for doing this on purpose is 0 so far but every year I get a tomato plant growing somewhere I believe a bird would have dropped the seed.
Show threadLuna LacteaJul 6, 2024
@metlstorm Don't try to do this with apples, they come with naturally occurring DRM 
Show threadToddJul 8, 2024
@jackemled @metlstorm
There's an easy way to get around that called "grafting"... nose tap
Show threadLuna LacteaJul 8, 2024
@trolder @metlstorm Not easy when you have to sneak into an orchard to steal apple cuttings & take proper care of them for like a year until it's time to graft them. 
Show threadJubeiJul 6, 2024
@metlstorm correct me if I'm wrong but some tomato varieties sold in supermarkets are genetically engineered to produce seeds that cannot be used to plant.
Show threadDanielJul 8, 2024

@metlstorm

Real life object duplication glitch

https://youtu.be/_pDTiFkXgEE

The Mitchell and Webb Situation - Farming

YouTube
Show threadSashinJul 8, 2024
@metlstorm This is the information that big tomato absolutely does not want you to know.
Show thread๐““ ๐“‘ ๐“’๐“ธ๐“ธ๐“น๐“ฎ๐“ปJul 8, 2024

@metlstorm

When I was working there was a research facility that worked on using reed beds to filter human waste. Because the human body cannot break down tomato seeds the tomatoes grew in the Reed beds. Some of the best tomatoes Iโ€™ve ever had. ๐Ÿ‘€

Show threadmorganJul 8, 2024

@metlstorm The beauty of your plan seems to entirely rest on people being really into seeds.

CW slapstick violence
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xjaLxHLE0I

The Young Ones - we sow the seed, nature grows the seed and then we eat the seed

YouTube
Show threadrecursive ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆJul 8, 2024
@metlstorm lots of F1 hybrids in commercial tomato production though, so this approach *may* disappoint