Pamela Dingle
jcrabappleThis is what the internet was made for.
Pusher of Pixels
Anti-Bird Poop Device
Virginicus@jcrabapple Somewhere an Intro Physics teacher is kvelling because somebody listened.
Stinkstiefel
CaseyLIf zachahern1 isn't a legend already, he should be one after this.
Bernd π» ππ π²@jcrabapple that's not how the song goes
Marcos Dione@jcrabapple He forgot the possibility of the bird flying into the balcony from side to side, under the roof, just swooping in, pooping and flying out.
cesarb@mdione @jcrabapple He also seems to have ignored the effects of wind; a strong enough air current might have carried the material farther than expected. But that could depend on the shape and density of the material in question, and let's stop here before we all get nerd sniped.
Chris Bohn
Andreas K
Jonathan HendryOr landing on the balcony, checking things out, then taking off and pooping on takeoff from much closer to the window.
Ibex@castanearie you need to see this (and there I thought math was useless!)
Matt Keeter@jcrabapple neglecting air resistance smh
Administrator@jcrabapple I don't often repost tiktok content on Mastodon, but when I do:
I repost five minute-long algebraic examinations of bird poop physics
Earthling@jcrabapple If a bird poops above the caboose of a train leaving Toledo at 15 miles per hour, calculate the speed at which the poop would land on someone wearing a new hat on the platform. Show your work.
Alan Miller 
πΊπ¦@jcrabapple deeply disappointed that he leaves out two obvious alternatives - an arc because the bird was flying up to the roof and 'lightened its load' shortly after takeoff or shortly before landing, or the equally possible 'blinds were open, bird smacks into the window with explosive consequences' then staggers away after a bit of recovery.
Jos noemt het gewoon melk@fencepost @jcrabapple
you'd see a bird shaped stain on the window, unless it was an unusually clean bird
you'd see a bird shaped stain on the window, unless it was an unusually clean bird
@goleztrol @jcrabapple I know doves tend to be dusty, not so sure about some of the songbirds - and I think it'd be really obvious on blackbirds
Maltimore@fencepost @jcrabapple there are many more oversights. For one, he only considers two dimensions. The bird could've flown along the wall of the house in the neglected third dimension in an arc as well πΏ
Stygian Lizard@maltimore @fencepost @jcrabapple considering that splatter pattern, it would appear that it hit the window coming from the direction of the railing, and traveling at velocity (wind likely a factor).π§
Mark Whybird
Si Fuller@jcrabapple and here I thought Tiktok was entirely made of teens and middle-aged tragics miming memes or jiggling boobs.
Andrew Bartlett@jcrabapple Only disappointing he didn't reference the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow.
But yes, very cool.
Takako π@jcrabapple Agreed. Itβs all impressive calculations. πππ
Thereβs a wind factor. If it was a very gusty day, a bird resting on the railing or flying by could easily pooped on the window at the right moment. π
SpaceLifeFormThis is a great example of the scientific process.
I have another theory though based upon evidence and experience.
The bird was actually flying toward the window because it saw a reflection that appeared to be a safe place to fly to.
At the last split-second, the bird realized it was glass and had an 'Oh, shit!' moment.
Jeanette in Mexico@jcrabapple He forgot the impact of the wind
β΅β±§β±€Εβ΄ β±€Γβ₯β± NZ6F πΊπ¦πͺπ»π¬π±β€οΈ
Silicon Valley dick jerk algorithm
Grapeshot@jcrabapple Thanks. This was hands down the best thing I watched today.
GlennMG@jcrabapple
This may be the harbinger of the end of civilization. Or it's proof.
This may be the harbinger of the end of civilization. Or it's proof.
bubbajet@jcrabapple @lisamelton I *cannot* believe I watched the whole thing. Also, awesome.
Peter Gleick@jcrabapple Unfortunately, there's another more likely hypothesis. A bird flew into the window and pooped itself.
We've had a few bird strikes over the years and never had a pooper.
Also there'd probably be a dead bird there.
Steveg58@jcrabapple
There is a third possibility, birds will involuntarily defecate when they impact into a solid object ... in this case the glass door.
There is a third possibility, birds will involuntarily defecate when they impact into a solid object ... in this case the glass door.
mirabilos@jcrabapple donβt trust a bit of his calculations, he uses Excel.
Also, faeces is correct (heir of course isnβt).
@jcrabapple It could have been sitting on top of the balcony door if it was open, or even on top of the window frame.
Filmkater@jcrabapple Ich kΓΆnnte mir vorstellen, dass dasβ¬οΈ @tanteju5 gefΓ€llt
James Trickle uP@jcrabapple WHAT... is the POOP VELOCITY of a LADEN SWALLOW?
Lowlife's inane ramblings π¦β @jcrabapple @itgrrl FUCK YEAH SCIENCE
Wilfried Klaebe@jcrabapple b-but that is literally a shit post! π
Ferdinand Soethe@jcrabapple deep... shit
Harald Hannelius 
@jcrabapple or maybe the bird just flew into the window and shat itself.
Chris McCabe
Claude Flammang
Timothy Martin@jcrabapple
That is the information I'm looking for years... ππ€π©π€£π€£
That is the information I'm looking for years... ππ€π©π€£π€£
Quantum β AI@jcrabapple it was good until he started mixing imperial and metric units WHY ARE PEOPLE LIKE THIS?
@jcrabapple perhaps the bird was somewhere on the roof?! ;9
D.EJE.D@jcrabapple makes you scared of being point-blank pooped by the monster bird...
Gje@jcrabapple the alternative conclusion would not only be horrible but go viral on the net and there are so many morons outside who would believe itβ¦
anorax
@jcrabapple
The bird may have just hit the window and pooped, no?
The bird may have just hit the window and pooped, no?
TouaregtweetMe, after 30 seconds watching that ...
Steph@jcrabapple du pur gΓ©nie... π€£
Koen de Jonge - SynQ
Alex Sikora@NanoBookReview This video stole like 2/3 of your niche!
Euval@jcrabapple Excel also was optimised for this
David BruchmannReally?
I'd think that wouldn't be a good selling argument if Microsoft would tell potential customers that excel is perfect to calculate the velocity of flying poop.
@DavidBruchmann @jcrabapple It was a joke about Excel primitivisme π
You mean flying poops can't be calculated so easy with excel?
I wouldn't call it a good selling argument either π€£
must look like this somehow:
=IF(FLYING_POOP(VELOCITY(20), ANGEL(15), LIQUIDITY(0.5)), 'Window hit', 'Something else hit, perhaps grannies hat.')