The Picard ManeuverMaybe an injection of some sort?
Tb0n3Yeah. They implant self control. Obviously if you want to you will, but he doesn’t want to so he won’t. Simple as.
nyahlathotepIt helps to not dread tomorrow
Yup, I have a job I enjoy, and it turns out I don’t need an alarm to get up to go to it.
Explain!
/s
That definitely sounds like it requires a surgery.
What worked for me: marry one of those people
Didn’t work for my wife.
It only works for men.
If women marry a man that sleeps in then he is lazy and needs to be woken up or he’s a bum. If a woman marries a man and she sleeps in he’s a dickhead if he doesn’t let her get her beauty sleep and he’s lazy if he goes to bed early.
Yup, am apparently lazy.
I did marry one. A decade later, nothing has changed (not for lack of trying). :(
Absolutely fucking not.
For some it occurs naturally in their midlife.
Just move 3 time zones west
pelyaThe only reasonable answer
Honestly, if you’re working remotely, finding a job that has a better fitting schedule, is indeed a good idea. Moving there, though, might not work out as your body might drag you to the same sleeping patterns you had before.
Have a kid…
An invasive and life threatening surgery in a third-world country sounds easier.
This but unironically
If you’re a woman on earth, there’s a good chance having kids will be that too!
SkullgridI tried to think of a comeback about how safe caesareans are, but then remembered when my wife said she started feeling faint during hers and the brick I shat as a response.
I saw the suction containers during my wife’s C section. I wish I hadn’t seen the suction containers.
Also I went around to see the baby and basically saw them frantically stuffing my wife’s insides back in. At least that’s where my imagination went after 27 hours of labor and a brief glance at an emergency c section.
Free contraception, physical sterilization, and abortions for all who knowingly consent.
Elect me God Emperor of the world for life and I will ensure that no woman will have to endure pregnancy or birth and will be paid $100,000 for their sacrificing motherhood with permanent sterilization. Humanity relies on women for our future and no woman should have to bear that burden.
Maybe give that money to women who choose to have a child, they definitely need it more.
Can confirm. Go to bed at 9pm and wake up at 5am… and 11pm to change a diaper and 1am to give a bottle and 3am for no reason whatsoever.
Hopefully you end up doing a better job sleep training than us! Toddler does not go down without a fight.
Our neighbors get there kid who’s a bit younger than ours down by 7. Ours stays up till 9 if she’s tired… sometimes 11 if she’s not…
We actually hired two sleep training consultants. The second one after my wife was so exhausted we just wanted some hope. Neither was worth the money but the 2nd one felt the most like a ripoff.
My son is almost 4 now and has been sleeping a lot better for quite a while now thankfully. I think I have gotten enough brains back to finish my PhD.
That’s the nature of the relationship right out of the box (so to speak). Part of it is distinguishing between “I really need something” and “I don’t want to do this.” Our youngest is 2 now and it takes time to get there, but he goes to bed at 8pm.
At first, you go to bed with them, on the ground and you let them cry it out. Once they get used to the routine, things will go much faster but that first week is tough. Routine is also the key. We do bath, reading, bed. Our oldest has snuck in there a bunch of items, but it’s the same routine every night. Getting back to the sleep training, after that first week and they get used to it, you can start just dropping them in there, hanging out a minute, and walking out. This too will be met with protest at first, but you let them cry it out and it stops pretty soon after. Ours occasionally yells when going to bed at first, but most of the time we just hear him talking until he drops out.
Sleeping through the night takes time, but the main thing is to try to feed a lot before bed. Naps in the day shouldn’t be too long either, but are still key to brain development.
There’s a really nice article on sleep training over at the BBC. It’s a long read, but the bottom line is that the research on sleep training effectiveness is sketchy at best. Sometimes short term benefits are shown, mostly for the parents (children still wake up, parents just don’t realize). but it’s very difficult to remove biases when people’s children are involved. There also seems to be a large variance between children and what works for one will not work for all.
The good news is that in the long term it doesn’t seem to matter much. Sleep trained or not, a large majority of children are able to sleep through the night at 20 months old.
I’ve done it 3 times and our results work, but for each their own. I was just sharing how.
I have friends that have struggled though. A couple I know still have their 7 year old crawling into their bed every night. A different couple have their son showing up at 3am and gets them up.
Consistent lack of sleep can have detrimental effects both physically and mentally. We manage a good night’s rest the vast majority of the time (sickness or other outliers being the exception).
I am now imagining you punching a baby to sleep every night
Can I just rent one for a bit?
Heck, I’ll pay you to come play with them so I can poop without them wanting to climb all over me.
hemmesYeah that didn’t work for me. Just made it harder on my “fall asleep on the couch from 12am until 3am then wake up and goto bed until work at 5:30am” routine.
For me it was lockdown went to bed early after work out of sheer bordem. Still trying to break out of that routine.
Of course it doesn’t help when my dog loves that routine and gets pissed off if not in bed by 8
Yeah just fake it till you make it, set up alarm, go to bed at the right time.
Eventually it will be automatic you want it or not. 🙄
It’s Saturday… I still got up at 06:30… it’s a blessing and a curse.
Blessing/curse
kamenladyBlursed
MamboGatorCussing
Blessin’t
Exactly this worked for me. Just be consistent until it sticks. It can take months, easily. But it works in the end. 10:30 pm - 6:00 am is now baked into my mind and I usually just wake up naturally like 10 minutes before the alarm. I actually love it 😁
just sleep such that the morning light will hit your eyelids… you’ll adjust to going to bed earlier…
Or in my case, wake up with a blinding migraine every day
for me it was just sleeping outside, and waking up to cops if i slept past sunrise…
now as soon as there’s any daylight, i can’t sleep at all…
now as soon as there’s any daylight, i can’t sleep at all…
Enlarge your prostate.
Time will do it for you
Mind giving me a hand with that?
Anyone actually reading this and having similar issue, it can get expensive but try talking with a doc to try and figure it out. Before my habits got better, i tried diet/exercise, diagnosed with sleep apnea (didn’t feel better rested, but def worse if I don’t use cpap), and finally got way easier to manage when I was diagnosed with depression and prescribed. Ymmv but thought I’d share my experience.
CPAP changed my life. Suffering from depression is a million times worse when you don’t get sleep
Last time I tried to go to bed at 10, I woke up… at 10.
kirk781I don’t understand everyone’s problem with getting this sleep schedule. I, for one, clock exactly this. I go to bed at 10 AM and wake at 6 PM; just like it says!
I take a gummy, play an album in the background. Sleep like a baby.
What kind of gummy?
Ohh, in supposed to take a gummy, not a bear, ok, my bad.
I stopped drinking, got a dog, and changed my gender. Now I’m up at 7am every day.
Seems pretty drastic just to sleep better. Hopefully you had reasons for getting a dog other than to solve a sleep issue.