Girl on the Net

Because it's #InternationalWomensDay, every woman is allowed to propose one (1) new law. It must be a silly, low-stakes one which has little impact on society other than to solve one of your pet peeves.

Mine is: 'make it illegal to illustrate articles about female pleasure with photos of someone fingering a piece of fruit.'

WOMEN: what's yours?

Mar 8, 2024 at 2:41pmWeb
Show threadClaire SimpsonMar 8, 2024
@girlonthenet I would like to ban people from asking when International Men's Day is on International Women's Day, but for balance I would also ban people from replying with 'Every day is International Men's Day'
Show threadGirl on the NetMar 8, 2024
@RexMagenta 😂
Show threadRookMar 8, 2024
@RexMagenta @girlonthenet I mean makes sense to me as a man. It's women's day, let it be womenb's day.
Show threadKirsten MillarMar 8, 2024
@girlonthenet leaving seat up on toilet is punishable by one ear flick (or ball flick) OR you bring sand into the house/car, you will clean it up with your tongue.
Show threadHeathen 🐈Mar 8, 2024
@girlonthenet
News outlets have to buy access to the study they're reporting on and get a relevant scientist to explain it to them and then correct their article if it misrepresents the study.
Show threadPersephoneMar 8, 2024
@heathen_cat @girlonthenet she said minor changes or I'd say that the money has to go to the scientists who wrote the paper.
Show threadKatLSMar 8, 2024

@girlonthenet mandatory hip #pockets on all trousers, dresses, skirts, leggings, and shorts. Maybe even on cockdresses and evening wear. #PocketParity is part of my platform if I ever run for office.

#pocketsinallclothing #pockets4women

Show threadMint Spies has gone BeigeMar 8, 2024
@KatLS @girlonthenet And not just pockets but proper sized, useful pockets - the pockets in men's jeans are infinitely better than the pockets in women's jeans.
Show threadKatLSMar 8, 2024
@MintSpies @KatLS @girlonthenet there will be federal standards for pockets ! Because too small or useless pockets don’t count at all.
Show threadTim GatewoodMar 9, 2024
@KatLS @girlonthenet On leggings? Aren't those basically leotards? Where would you put the pockets? Just trying to visualize it.
Show threadLexiGirlMar 8, 2024
@girlonthenet it should be illegal for a man to say to a woman, especially a stranger he passes on the street ‘smile, love’ or ‘why don’t you try smiling’. Why don’t you fuck off?
Show threadPhilippa CowderoyMar 9, 2024
@LexiGirl @girlonthenet and them having done so should be full legal defence for anything you do to them following a sadistic grin - for the rest of their lives
Show threadPersephoneMar 8, 2024
@girlonthenet the government or some other appropriate body, eg iso, shall create standard sizes for clothes. They can keep the numbers if they like but a size 12 will be the same between all stores. Deviations of more than 1.5cm shall be punishable with a fine applied to the CEO of the companies personal account.
Show threadBytebro 🇬🇧 🇺🇦 🇬🇱Mar 8, 2024

@mindpersephone @girlonthenet And my late partner would have voted for a size 12 (for example) to be the same bloody size regardless of which country in the world one is shopping.

And don't get me started on shoe-sizes!

Show threadhonk if you want to honk Mar 8, 2024
@mindpersephone approved @girlonthenet
Show threadRep. Eric Gallager (no "h"!)Mar 8, 2024
@mindpersephone @girlonthenet re: "the government": which level of government specifically? Like, should I propose a bill at the state level here in NH?
(being serious here; I think this one could actually be a good idea)
Show threadPersephoneMar 8, 2024
@egallager @girlonthenet I live in the UK so things are a little bit simpler here, but sure go for it.
Show threadA Smol BearMar 8, 2024
@mindpersephone @girlonthenet @egallager NATO already has this with STANAG 2335. As of 2012, military sizes should be identical across member countries.
Show threadRep. Eric Gallager (no "h"!)Mar 8, 2024
@derryh @mindpersephone @girlonthenet hm, maybe my bill could be to ensure that NH National Guard uniforms comply to STANAG 2335? I mean, since state National Guards are state-level, they don't exactly count as "member countries", do they?
Show threadLennard van OtterlooMar 8, 2024

@mindpersephone @girlonthenet There’s been quite some thought about this. It must have been at least a decade ago that someone in the UK even started a campaign on this topic

Standard EN 13402 is probably one of the finest examples. The challenge is to get it implemented and to not let it fall prey to commercial incentives to undermine it (for instance by playing on people’s desires to have a different size than they actually have). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joint_European_standard_for_size_labelling_of_clothes

Joint European standard for size labelling of clothes - Wikipedia

Show threadHazelnootMar 8, 2024
@girlonthenet Brunch restaurants have to follow normal restaurant hours. That means being open all week, and they can't close before dinner!
Show threadMelMar 8, 2024

@girlonthenet any establishment selling chips should give mayo
or tomato ketchup sachets for free

Supplemental: which can be opened by fingers and not require scissors, knives or swords to dispense

Show threadGirl on the NetMar 8, 2024
@melofthevalley yes! I once went to an outlet in Hackney that charged an extra pound (A POUND!) for a tiny bit of ketchup with the chips.
Show threadMelMar 8, 2024
@girlonthenet OUTRAGED!!
Show threadJosieMar 8, 2024
@girlonthenet

The law I would implement is…

If a woman says no *to something — anything*… it ends the conversation. No bargaining no adjustments or amendments or guilt.

No means no.

This matches a very well understood “unwritten law” on the other side. #InternationalWomensDay #InternationalWomensDay
Show threadPurpleMar 8, 2024
@girlonthenet Make it illegal to snack raw carrots while on a meeting. If you do, you get hit by a giant carrot on your head.
Show threadBeckyMar 8, 2024

@girlonthenet @rigrig

From this moment on, it is illegal to walk upon a surface greater than 196.2 degrees deflected from any other surface.

Show threadVivian Schey 🏳️‍🌈 🇩🇪 <(FSM)<{Mar 8, 2024

@girlonthenet

Depictions of happy women in ads about female hygiene products shall be prohibited.

Not silly tho, but true.

Show threadMerinMar 8, 2024
@girlonthenet Ads for salads, fine. But no more laughing.
Show threadraederleMar 8, 2024
@girlonthenet If you send an unsolicited dick pic, you have to also send that pic to your father, brothers, grandfathers, and/or uncles. They will be required to send ratings and comments back.
Show threadLot⁴⁹Mar 10, 2024
@raederle @girlonthenet That's what Speaker Mike Johnson does.
Show threadliloMar 8, 2024
@girlonthenet All products marketed as "for men", "for boys", "for women" or "for girls" must specify en detail on the packaging what the risks are if they are accidentally used by the wrong gender.
Show threadGirl on the NetMar 8, 2024
@lilo incredible!
Show threadStephen Cox AuthorMar 9, 2024

@lilo @girlonthenet

exactly which organ needs to be used which makes them unsuitable for others

Show threadTrump & Epstein: Biz partners.Mar 9, 2024

@lilo @girlonthenet
My mother once bought me a shirt that buttoned on the wrong side.

She didn't realize it was a woman's blouse (and that men's shirts button on the other side.) 😉

Show threadHelen LHMar 9, 2024
@lilo @girlonthenet This label should be given out to every person who asks is this a girls or boys toy?
Show threadDie Welt istMar 13, 2024
@Research_FTW Love the energy, but defining gender by genitalia seems counterproductive (and incorrect).
Show threadRealGene ☣️Mar 9, 2024
@lilo @girlonthenet
Any good toy can harm anyone's genitals when played with enough force.
Show threadMelancholic Mediocrity Mar 9, 2024
@RealGene @lilo @girlonthenet aaaaaand that deserves a follow
Show threadThorne LawlerMar 9, 2024
@lilo @girlonthenet @feorag Especially on the fedi, I hear ‘The Wrong Gender’ and my imagination starts here:
Show threadMartin JostMar 11, 2024
@lilo @girlonthenet
This should be an actual law and the "marketing" has to include the usage of gender-"specific" colours.
(After all, I need to know the risks, if I buy stuff in my second- favourite colour)
Show threadAgitatra 🚲🐻🌿🇪🇺🇺🇦Mar 13, 2024
@lilo @girlonthenet Well, not only wrong gender but also wrong age (woman/man vs. girl/boy). Terrible things could happen when products are operated by a wrong age. E.g. would a boy's product cause the testicles to retract into the body of an adult man?
Show threadRajnhildo Ursidino  Mar 8, 2024
@girlonthenet All landed persons will be permitted to turn their yard to food crop production, even over HOA or city council objections. If the owner is a man with a current date or spouse who is or has been a woman, or who is commonly and incorrectly assumed to be one for any reason, then the owner would not have the right to object to said spouse tilling the yard to exercise this right.
Show threadelleMar 8, 2024
@girlonthenet
If people are telling you their phone number they can't say "oh" for zero. It's not two, five, oh. It's two, five, zero. I don't know why I'm like this. I'm sorry.
Show threadJanuary's CommissionMar 8, 2024
@ElleGray @girlonthenet You're right, dammit
Show threadGirl on the NetMar 8, 2024
@ElleGray so petty I’m here for it
Show threadTheCurler3Mar 8, 2024
@girlonthenet
Show threadDeb4+ aka Deborah DT 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️Mar 8, 2024

@thecurler3 @girlonthenet

I wish The Volatile Mermaid was on Mastodon.

I had to go over to The Other Place to like and repost this there, too.

Show threadSabrina Web  📎Mar 9, 2024
@thecurler3 @girlonthenet or have more sex
Show threadStoneface VimesMar 9, 2024
@thecurler3 @girlonthenet and don't forget to girlsplain simple concepts that they already understand. Just so they know how it feels.😉
Show threadlj·rkMar 9, 2024
@girlonthenet OH: Make it illegal to randomly declare something "women's" or "men's", e.g., drinks, shaving cream, razors, shampoo, ...
Show threadKikiMar 9, 2024
@girlonthenet
Every place that sells food (restaurants etc.) has to have the complete list of ingredients for everything printed in the menu (or on a sign next to the food if it's a buffet), and every non-vegan ingredient has to be clearly highlighted (like they already have do for ingredients that often cause allergies).
Also, food labels have to include precise numbers for how spicy something is (as in: amount of capsaicin and similar stuff), and how much caffeine it contains.
Show threadKikiMar 9, 2024
@girlonthenet (not sure if that's silly/low-stakes enough, but insufficiently labelled food it definitely very annoying for me)
Show threadLena RichterMar 9, 2024

@girlonthenet

Every article about media with "strong female leads" has to ne accompanied by a second article detailing "strong male leads" and what makes them strong characters.