Lesley Carhart 
You all donโt know how much I panic struggle as a #nonbinary person about how to dress for formal occasions . Itโs like a constant cycle of gender and body dysphoria mixed with societal expectations and second guessing. When I literally donโt want to be tied to expectations. Itโs not just you, if you ever feel like this.
Fi ๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ@hacks4pancakes "Mysterious hooded figure" really ought to be part of the formal dress code generally.
demize@munin @hacks4pancakes I would go to a con where this was the dress code
don't care what the con's about. just want to go to it.
Juliet (Ryel), Rollerskating Elf ๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ@hacks4pancakes I feel this in my fuckin' soul.
Sterling@hacks4pancakes
Sure I'm OAF, but listen to the words:
Ricky Nelson - Garden Party 1972 HQ
Dave C.@hacks4pancakes As a man the options for formal are so limited it is easy. Business casual is another problem entirely. Like... California or east coast business casual? Could be a plain T-shirt and clean jeans or formal without the tie. Better not be a multi day meeting or I'll need to go buy more clothes.
I feel for you. Watching my wife try to pick clothes for a job interview is crazy. Once you get away from straight male choices the options and permutations are seemingly limitless.
Hoyty@hacks4pancakes Just wear "the jacket" it works for all occasions.
Wendy Nather@hacks4pancakes Everything Iโve ever seen you in has been exquisite. I can understand how it doesnโt necessarily meet your own expectations for yourself, but I just wanted to throw that out there.
Nerd That Talks Good@wendynather @hacks4pancakes 100% co-sign!
You always elicit a โdayumn! That drip!โ From me. ๐ฅฐ
Holir_@JetSm00th @wendynather @hacks4pancakes Yeah, I'm a little envious of your wonderful & bold choices. I hope you are able to find the peace with yourself in this endeavor.
@hacks4pancakes Wanted to say I appreciate your posts. I think with remote work my exposure to non binary culture has dropped dramatically. It also is not brought up in conversation around work because... reasons? But I'm sure there is more than one person I interact with on the regular who is non binary. I enjoy the warmth you bring to an aspect of every day life that many are shy to call attention to.
Steffen Christensen@hacks4pancakes ๐๐๐๐๐
recursive ๐ณ๏ธโ๐@hacks4pancakes at least the impression I got of formal dress growing up was "unimaginative people performing at something where the best you can do is 'not fail by doing it wrong'".
Most cishet people seem to accomplish that by just doing what society tells them to do, but my queerness insists that I should do something more interesting. That's where it gets difficult.
Gripping Yarn 
@hacks4pancakes Yes. I do. Then, I wake myself up and do a belt and pocket check. If I sit, am I gonna feel cut in half? No? Proceed. Will my phone, chapstick, mask, and fidget stay on my person without needing a purse/bag? Yes? Proceed. Everything else is a bonus. -- Hope you find those perfect outfits.
Peter Dodemont@hacks4pancakes THE jacket is good for any occasion ๐โ
I know them feels though. Even if I have never gotten any negative comments about how I dressed. I still spend a lot of time "making a decision"
Jay@hacks4pancakes If you tack on a pair of shades, earpiece, and a solemn expression, you can wear a suit wherever you go.
Samofhearts@hacks4pancakes tfw you got a funeral and your family is like "cant you just be a boy this one day?"
Ibi5@samofhearts @hacks4pancakes I'm sorry, friend. You shouldn't have to grieve and deal with that too.
I feel you. I struggle with this a lot with both formal situations and still some work situations.
I recently got brave enough to try my first extremely short haircut, and while I love it I'm still struggling to figure out how to take a good headshot for work since I now look vastly different than my old one.
And I'm feeling really self-conscious about if my wardrobe for visiting clients is too masculine now that my hair doesn't read feminine. I've had vibrant colored hair for a while now, but is this a little too far? Are my more conservative clients going to start acting weird? Do I care?
My partner's sibling is getting married in a few months and I'm low key panicking about finding something to wear. Their family is pretty formal about things, and I'm not out to them because there's not really a reason its relevant to them.
I keep wondering if a suit will feel too uncomfortably masc or if I have to bite the bullet and wear a dress. I've never been able to find jumpsuit that looks right on my shape.
Texty the Bard@hacks4pancakes Depends on the crowd I'm going to be around, but I usually either attempt "dignified matron" or "butch wedding suit." If I'm going to be around nerds, I'll break out the faux-Edwardian dandy thing. As I've gotten older, though, I'm most often just going with velvet stretch jeans because fuck anything other than comfort.
That Anonymous CowardPeople can expect all sorts of things, but meeting their expectations isn't something required of you.
I stopped giving any serious thought to what other people thought of me and never looked back.
They people who care more about how I am dressed than who I am aren't very bright & not worth my time... a few car salesmen learned this the very hard way.
Be comfortable for you, b/c you're the only one who matters.
I never did mind about the little things...
BlueintheSouth@hacks4pancakes makes me glad I dress androgynously
JimHudson@hacks4pancakes I have trouble picking a tie that goes w/ shirt/jacket for work.
๐๐ท๐ญ๐๐ฃ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ญ๐๐ฎ ๐ค@hacks4pancakes tiedyed suit FTW.