Brent
Shauna GMI am not monetizing my SQL-writing abilities properly
Hans van Zijst@Shauna GM Holy crap, that's what you call "extraction"!
Jeff Forcier@shauna Suddenly /way/ more interested in the “become a consultant/freelancer” job option, if one gets to charge those kinds of numbers! 🤯 (this is /mostly/ tongue in cheek)
Pete Keen@bitprophet @shauna I believe that it is possible to change that much. I also believe you would need a client as ... free with cash as SBF to pull it off.
Yaoi Box Balloon
Jon@zrail @bitprophet @shauna I charged over $400/hour, about 15 years ago, so $720/hour is entirely plausible.
A lot of that time was going over old emails from my standards group and filtering / classifying them for relevance to the case, some hours consulting with (educating, basically) lawyers about the technology in question, and as it turned out, when trial time came they didn't have enough time to put me on the stand.
El Gordo@shauna I am not monetizing anything properly (this is true with or without the above context, but also not sure I’d rather write SQL queries all day)
@gordoooo_z I'd write SQL queries all day if you paid me $720 an hour
nick@shauna @gordoooo_z i will write them in a box, i will write them with a fox / i will write them to your specs (cold hard cash, no pers'nal checks)
blueorangeblue@nickzoic @shauna @gordoooo_z there is nothing more relaxing than writing SQL queries. Very relaxing for $750 per hour
Gid@blueorangeblue
But you will always have the sword of Damocles called performance above you. 😉
@nickzoic @shauna @gordoooo_z
But you will always have the sword of Damocles called performance above you. 😉
@nickzoic @shauna @gordoooo_z
@Mr_GHARice @blueorangeblue @nickzoic @shauna Exactly. This is why I use NoSQL databases for all my business applications, namely massive Excel spreadsheets with horrifying formulae, unparseable by any sane human with a self-preservation instinct.
This is what we in the business call Job Security 😉
This is what we in the business call Job Security 😉
@gordoooo_z
Please come to the board and write 'Excel is not a database' 100 times. 😅
@nickzoic @blueorangeblue @shauna
Please come to the board and write 'Excel is not a database' 100 times. 😅
@nickzoic @blueorangeblue @shauna
@shauna I'd probably write them for like... some number of hours a week at that rate, and then spend the rest of the time living life. Or maybe I'd do a week of full time SQL queries a month. Get it all out at once, y'know?
fedward 
Rivetgeek (He/Him)@shauna I'd even write *good* SQL queries for $720/hour.
Wait, I already do write good SQL queries for a lot less than that...
Ben from CDS@shauna
"Can you craft SQL Queries?"
"Yes."
"What is your connection to this case?"
"Provider=postgresql;server=123.124.135.391;port=5432..."
"Can you craft SQL Queries?"
"Yes."
"What is your connection to this case?"
"Provider=postgresql;server=123.124.135.391;port=5432..."
Poligofsky
SpaceLifeForm
Wayne Dixon@shauna @lisamelton damn, where do I sign up for this? I’ll gladly make $720 an hour to write SQL queries.
Calamity Caitlin@shauna omg me neither o.O
@shauna These rates only apply to the SELECT few.
@shauna The jobs, are out there but you need to know WHERE.
@shauna The rest of us would probably make more by joining a UNION.
@shauna ... alright, I'm done.
Rupert V/@glenatron @shauna Good, because I was going to READPAST the rest.
Suzanne Paley
Sam Livingston-Gray@glenatron @shauna COUNT(*) me in!
wiredfool@glenatron @shauna WITH benefits as?
@glenatron @shauna This is usually the CASE, unless you're in a DISTINCT INNER GROUP.
tig@shauna I don't "craft" SQL queries, I inspire, develop and nurture SQL queries. I take the essence of the query and ruminate on the deeper truth of the concept of the query the joins, the nested sub-selects and to garnish I will union the lot... I should point out I am being silly here but will probably get copied onto linked in...
So was 70 hours him writing the sql or the DB providing it or both ?
Urzl@shauna What does 70 hours worth of SQL even look like?
Eugene Meidinger@shauna Big same
Flaming Cheeto
Patrick Johanneson 🚀 🇨🇦@shauna daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang
BadExampleMan 🟣@shauna damn skippy!
DJ Fragile Toolchains
Daniel D. Beck
Democracy Matters 
Fuck! That guy’s rate is outrageous.
mirabilos
Cloud Manul@mirabilos @shauna Sometimes, it actually is possible to get rich with honest work <3
🪨@shauna Surely, that's a typo, right? It has to be $72 instead of $720, right? Otherwise, that means he gets around $100k a month writing SQL, that's insane
@Varpie I'm sure it's true (he's under oath!) but as a contractor he's not working 40 hours a week, 52 weeks a year. I don't know what his breakdown of billable hours is, I'm sure he's making an absurd amount of money from this, but it's probably not 720*40*4.25
@shauna True, but he also says he worked 70 hours on it, which isn't a small task either. That's already around $50k, which is 2/3 of the median American yearly salary...
Berkubernetus@shauna Wow. Just wow. I never got more than $300/hr for expert witness work.
@fuzzychef How does one even become an expert witness? It does seem stressful and like it would be worth a premium over just knowing how to use SQL
@shauna Connections, mostly? I got my gigs because I used to work on legal services software.
There's overhead, though. Like: I had to sign an agreement twice that any leaking of case data, either intentionally or unintentionally, was a felony. In perpetuity.
So, like, I have 2 dead laptops I can't throw away, because I can't be sure the data is erased.
@shauna ... and the hearings themselves will really make you extremely cynical about our whole system.
Like, I'll never forget the case where I testified, with empircal evidence, that the plaintiff falsified their data. They were even fined for perjury. They won the case anyway.
@shauna I'll also say that the high hourly rate usually encompasses a LOT of calls and email comms you can't bill for. This dude seems to have deeper-pocketed clients than most.
And the trial appearances, of course, are boring as all-get-out. Of course, I can tolerate a lot of boredom for $10/minute.
LisPi@fuzzychef @shauna Wouldn't it be possible to use the same secure destruction services the DoD uses (that presumably fulfills due care)?
At this point keeping them in perpetuity adds a burglary risk.
Jaakko Niemi@shauna I just use pg_dump and grab it all. Second monification starts from the question "so, what's in this".
@shauna I concur. I'd like that.
GreenSkyOverMe (Monika)@shauna Saaame OMG