PSA: until you've experienced burnout, you are likely to underestimate how long it takes to recover. It's not a couple of months, it's 6-18 months for partial recovery, and maybe 3 years for full recovery (all depending on how bad it gets). The company burning you out will almost never support your recovery, mostly they'll drop you when you stop being productive.
Nobody in business cares about your health but you, so be your own advocate, or suffer the consequences.
I don't say this with any particular bitterness, more that this seems to be generally how it is, and you should know that your loyalty to your team and the people that employ you is just not worth the damage that you are doing to yourself, because that loyalty will not be there for you at the end of the process, and healing takes a surprising amount of time.
To put it in ecological terms, your health needs to be a sustainable resource for you. There is no safety net.
A follow-up call to action: protect and guide the young people in your workplace. Point out the importance of rest, of not being a hero to cover for systemic failures beyond your pay grade, of getting paid for your time, of the cost of disability.
You may be the first person to let them know it's ok to ease off, or to have boundaries with work.
If not you, who?
@dznz So much this.
I've taught my kids to give 80% at most - you have to save some of you for yourself. (Still trying to learn that myself, but at least I can try to get them off to a healthier start)
As I've learnt more about boundaries, I've been teaching myself and a friend how to implement them in our lives.
Some of my 🚩warning flags:
- stressed staff/volunteers
- hasty departure/death of previous staff member(s)
- unpaid work / overtime requests
- overtime is essential due to project overrun
- poor role separation
- poor / non existent management support
- poor / non existent accessibility support
- poor stakeholder communication /
cooperation
@dznz That part about telling colleagues to relax is the key point, I think. Burnout is often self-inflicted, not realizing that actually nobody asks us to work that hard (but nobody will complain about it).
We should be on the look out for colleagues we're losing, burnout symptoms are easy to spot anyway : irritability, paranoia, discontentment at anything related to the company, etc.
@kik all of this, though I would add that we are socially conditioned from a young age to value hard work, and to conflate our identity with our job, and to abhor “laziness”, and to blame ourselves first. Nobody has to ask because we show up ready to drive ourselves into the ground.
I 💯 co-sign keeping an eye on colleagues, looking for those signs. For many of us I think it’s easier to spot in others than ourselves.
@scooby087 that sounds like a fortunate sequence, good on the manager and good on you. The great thing is the sooner we catch it, the less damage it does to us.
Also, let's gently laugh at ourselves for thinking a long weekend will fix things. I've been there!
@dznz I've flamed out hard twice. At the start of a career that ended quickly & at the end of a career.
1st time was teaching & the (cult-y) org I was with tried to persuade me to stay. Fortunately I was strong enough to say no.
The 2nd time it wasn't the workload, half of it was a "part time" degree that energised me, it was that I wasn't being listened to. At the end of that I changed careers. Now I'm VERY firm on my boundaries.
You wanted that done quicker? Resource it properly then...
@dznz @magsol I remember a talk at an ApacheCon very long ago. It was inspired by https://osmihelp.org/
Hearing the personal story from a friend helped hearing the message.
So did hearing another friend tell a story about the impact time at a startup during crunch time had not on his mental but on his physical health.
The tricky part is showing ppl entering the industry in unhealthy places who lack better examples for comparison that there are different paths.
Changing how we talk about mental health in the tech community Changing how we talk about mental health in the tech community Support OSMI to help those facing mental illness in the tech community Donate Now Talk with other developers and tech...
@dznz Going on 10 years now since I did some significant damage to myself to get out of a situation. Pushed way, way too hard and wouldn't accept failure at all. Failed, fell harder into that situation. Wondering if I'll ever properly recover from it.
Today has been bad. I want to be nice to people.
You're all neat. Stuff you do is neat.
@SketchyAbstractions I really hear you about that recovery doubt. I've got scars from work that have caused me further problems down the line, years later.
Best we can do is practice listening to ourselves, and be kind to ourselves like we are kind to the people we love. Easier to say then do, but there it is.
AND guide young people when we see them making those mistakes. Young-uns need protection.
@dznz personal, anecdotal addition: it feels like you never recover. More like some lifelong trauma that hurts in the back of your heart and stays with you. Burnout also comes with a huge loss of trust for me, since I was raised with stories of how effort and giving would be rewarded at work. Now they haven’t and it still makes me feel like the whole system betrayed me, a decade and a lot of therapy later.
Only give everything for yourself. Never to a company.
@danielsreichenbach tell me about it. And often our own loyalty to our colleagues is used against us to draw us in.
I hear you about that loss of trust, and the trauma. And yet somehow we have to carry on, not succumb to bitterness, and to find a way to live with the heartbreak and transform our anger into useful change for ourselves and others.
But first, and ongoing: self-care.
@dznz it’s really important to note that burnout affects every part of you & your life. I’ve burned out a few times, but it’s been 17 years from the last time & I’ve not been able to work at all since.
It’s incredible how quickly you can go from being super fit & working to barely able to stand & unable to work.
No job is worth losing your health, & the only people who pay for that is you & your loved ones.
@dznz I also had 3-4 years of CFS when I was at high school & starting uni. You learn acceptance — if you don’t accept, then you’ll suffer. I try not to suffer, although it’s easier to say that when I’m in a fairly stable patch.
I had 10 amazing years between that burnout & this one. Now I know I have an underlying disability & knowing that helps me manage.
I’m lucky that I have an awesome partner. Unfortunately he’s had CFS since 2019, which seems deeply unfair.
@heyrochelle it really does seem unfair.
Here’s to gaining self-knowledge that lets us adapt to our needs. Where would we be without it?
Never expect the loyalty from your employer that they demand of you.
Burn out is such a hard one to measure too. We grow tolerant of coping with the impossible. You don't even see it until you exit the building.
@dznz my burnout ended up destroying my dreams. I was, not by my own words, a bit of a rising star. Even as a student I was releasing full game titles that saw moderate success and won awards. Ended up with a burnout so bad I can’t even look at the game industry without feeling pain.
Currently trying to ease into a 4/5 day a week job in a library. I’m happy where I am, but there is a deep loss inside me.
@Tinu tell. me. about. it.
I’m currently grateful I left a years-long paper trail of my self-advocacy as my employer is currently gunning for me and it seriously improves my potential discrimination case. Fingers crossed it doesn’t come to that.
Rand Fitzpatrick
Daniel
Jay (they/them)
Selena
Firehorseart Lives!
Tane Piper ⁂
kik
Anna
Tim Newman
🌊 Tempest 
Francis 🏴☠️ Gulotta
Misuse Case
Malfunction54
Future Sprog
Bo Jeanes
Shannon Quinn 
MaineC
Whyrl
Dixzy
NomiChirps
Chad of Sketchy Abstractions
Daniel S. Reichenbach
Flatbush Gardener 🌈
Rod_Rescueman
Rochelle
Melissa Atwell
Photo Ewen 📷
EVHaste
Eyes Wide Open
Ryan The Red 🖥️🚲🍺🏳️🌈
David W. Jones
your_huckleberry
Tinu - Empress of Twerk
AreYouDeeWhy