I assume they found out about their (lack of) unemployment benefits tho
It keeps happening

Eberhard, who Musk ousted as CEO of Tesla in 2007, said creating software for the electric cars to drive themselves was the least of his concerns when he was at Tesla.

"So, keep in mind that all this FSD autonomous, autopilot crap — none of that existed when I was there," he said. "We were still busy trying to make the car work and we never thought about that at all. That came later. That requires a much, much bigger budget than we had."

https://www.autoblog.com/2023/02/18/tesla-cofounder-calls-autopilot-and-fsd-software-crap-that-could-risk-the-carmaker-s-future/

Musk can fix this
I'm excited for the casting on what will be a theranos/the dropout season 2. someone suggested kathy bates could play lonny
"I didn't use government money! I used money from my dad's apartheid emerald mine!"

this shit has a long way to drop, but if his song and dance press event is no longer wowing rubes, it might even happen

and all it took was him pissing off the business and tech press by running twitter into the ground

lol what is this

"groimes sombaddy drapped a loight saba in me truck, loike the stah wahs"

i feel like seatbelts are one of those things that have like, standards, and you can't just "make them weaker" because you think it's fine, but i'm not a carologist
Deckard in Blade Runner murders several four year olds, much like Tesla cars
Actually Musk is such a genius that he's found a way around the laws of thermodynamics

lmao it's mom from Futurama, complete with idiot sons

"shut up, kimbal! mom knows I'm the smart one!"

"Oh, you don't want me to talk about where the bodies are buried during this press conference? Do tell."
Normalizing Crash Risk of Partially Automated Vehicles under Sparse Data | Engineering Archive

DeLorean speedrun
Still waiting for someone to dig into the Tesla/Hertz deal, when Hertz reported their deliveries none of it made sense, none of their pushing Teslas onto Uber drivers as long term rentals makes sense, a fuckton of Tesla 3s Hertz rentals are being used as rideshares rented by their drivers in my city, like, if you order a Comfort (The only thing worth getting as an Uber these days, a regular Uber is probably going to be dirty and barely street legal), it's most likely going to be a rented Tesla 3
Suspicious
Good way to make sure that Tesla sales in Iceland grind to a freezing halt
The Virginian-Pilot - We are currently unavailable in your region

Dude is trying to start a cult or slave colony or both

JONES-TOWN! JONES-TOWN! JONES-TOWN!

https://www.wsj.com/articles/elon-musk-texas-town-52386513

https://archive.is/wP94j

Elon Musk Is Planning a Texas Utopia—His Own Town

The entrepreneur is laying plans for a new community outside Austin next to Boring and SpaceX facilities, dubbed Snailbrook

WSJ
White South African guys have decided to create their own towns in the past and lemme tell you, they aren't very accepting places
Musk says Tesla will put sales growth ahead of profit

Tesla Inc <a href="https://www.reuters.com/companies/TSLA.O" target="_blank">(TSLA.O)</a> boss Elon Musk on Wednesday doubled down on the price war he started at the end of last year, saying the electric vehicle (EV) maker would prioritize sales growth ahead of profit in a weak economy.

Reuters
$60k+ cybrtruks rusting at the factory like some 1960s american land barge

Sure love when my car shuts off on the highway

I’ve never looked real hard at the Tesla UI but it seems fucking weird for a car to have like a notification icon with an incredibly important information about stuff like traction control. Like I gotta tap a bell icon, while driving on the highway, to be told this?

pretty long letter but she makes a good point... unfortunately if anyone took board member independence and conflicts of interest seriously pretty much every company would be in trouble

I assume he's already posted something extremely sexist about this

https://www.cnbc.com/2023/07/17/warren-urges-sec-to-investigate-tesla-over-twitter-ties-governance.html

Is your Tesla covered in blood, organs, and mangled stroller parts? Good news, now they all wipe right off!
Hahaha holy shit did they use black seamsealer instead of paint
Andy Richter stepping in with an unexpected dunk

This is extra funny because the Tesla board just settled a lawsuit in which they're giving 700 million in excess compensation back to Tesla

https://www.dandodiary.com/2023/07/articles/shareholders-derivative-litigation/tesla-board-compensation-derivative-suit-settles-for-735-million/

Just casually siphoning off 3/4 of a billion

Tesla Board Compensation Derivative Suit Settles for $735 Million

In what is as far as I know the largest shareholder derivative lawsuit settlement ever as measured by dollar value, the defendant board members in the

The D&O Diary
he's doing the seo poisoning thing again. the feds opened up another investigation into fsd and autopilot today

Love when the accelerator on my 2 year old car snaps due to the shittiest cheapest most-profitable composite materials the manufacturer could afford.

Remember when they were going to cast whole frames?

This backfired hard in China because people had been waiting for a couple of years for their cars to be delivered and then prices were dropped for new orders and they wouldn't lower the cost of the cars that were already on order but hadn't been manufactured yet

https://www.bbc.com/news/business-66253044

Elon Musk: Tesla may cut prices again in 'turbulent times'

The company reported that its profit margins have been squeezed as it faces tough competition.

BBC News
The Tesla Anti Ship Missile

what if we ran a wolf-of-wallstreet trading floor, but instead it was denying customer service?

this thing is hitting the news, so expect elon to come up with a massive diversion any moment

https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/tesla-batteries-range/

Tesla’s secret team to suppress thousands of driving range complaints

About a decade ago, Tesla rigged the dashboard readouts in its electric cars to provide “rosy” projections of how far owners can drive before needing to recharge, a source told Reuters.

Reuters
@cspam @MaxPow3r11 No EV has the range promised. It’s a regulatory issue. Gas cars have to list Hwy and City avg MPG. EV’s should absolutely be required to do this. They are not. The EV shortcomings mostly come down to the regulatory agencies allowing them to run amok. Proprietary plugs to rosy range estimates. All failures of logical regulation
@Stoneycase @cspam @MaxPow3r11 this is a lot worse than just being bad at range estimation, it's active fraud...but it's also *extremely* bad range estimation
@mrcompletely @cspam @MaxPow3r11 Spotted in the wild at company HQ. Must be a CBD broker #ev #cannabis #porsche

@Stoneycase @mrcompletely @cspam @MaxPow3r11 How fucking dumb do you have to be to buy a Ferrari in any other color than the marque-default red?

Yes, yes, I know red cars get pulled over more often (even red Corollas). The whole goddamn point of Supercar ownership is not giving a shit about mundane concerns like gas mileage or speed limits. And scarcity/exclusivity has become part of the value of all the high end sports cars. It’s part of the whole deal. You should WANT the plebes to know it’s a Ferrari, even if you blow past them at 160! Red blur? Ferrari! Silver with two blue stripes? F40! Lime green or shocking orange? Ah, tricky, could be a Lamborghini, could be a McLaren.

I mean, look at this asshole. Yes that is a parking ticket. He DGAF.

@dwenius @Stoneycase @cspam @MaxPow3r11 100% true story, I saw a guy peel out of a Ferrari dealer lot in a brand new 308 that was, I swear to you, actual Shit Brown. And this dude fishtailed the back end and wrapped the stupid thing around a telephone pole *while turning onto the road in front of the dealer.* No one was hurt, so it ranks among the funniest things I've ever seen.
@dwenius @Stoneycase @cspam @MaxPow3r11 and yes when I worked for a brief while in the collector car biz (magazine/website art director) I learned about that psychology. For instance owning a 3-5 year old Ferrari or Lambo is incredibly gauche, bc you're just admitting that you can't afford a new one. Such a grotesque subculture. However the collectors of old British junk like Austin Healys and Triumphs were amazing and awesome hobbyist people
@mrcompletely @Stoneycase @cspam @MaxPow3r11 Coming back to this just to say: if somebody doesn’t want to drive a Dino, or a mid-80s Countach with alllll the aggro flared body panels, or FFS a Miura, Miles fucking Davis’ actual cocaine-and-hookers-mobile, because “it just says they can’t afford a new one”, that person has actual garbage theories of aesthetics and value what I don’t EVEN…
@dwenius @Stoneycase @cspam @MaxPow3r11 the Miura has borderline fuckable curves and I'm not even a car guy