@timamor
I have never met a church that encourages childless people, all the infertility stories end with "and then Jesus gave us a child because he loves us."
Which implies no child = no use to this church, and Jesus doesn't love you either. Got that message loud and clear many times over.
@BritishKoalaTea ouch! I’m so very sorry!
Churches have responded to the idolatry of sexual satisfaction with the idolatry of family, marriage, (& sexual satisfaction within those boundaries).
The way of Jesus has always had a special place for those who have no other family or children etc.
I lament that we’ve lost that.
1. Excellent stage performances
2. Great children's ministry
3. Lots of programs specialized for me personally
Joking! 🙃
@timamor
1. Biblical teaching. If there's no reading, if the Word is an afterthought, or if sin is a dirty word, I'm out. If we can't talk about sin, then we can't talk about why Jesus died. It's not the personal power hour, it's the celebration of His resurrection.
2. Welcoming humanity. My wife and I were looking into church options a while back and at some of them we were stared at rather than welcomed.
3. Separation of Church and State. A local pastor has used the term "woke" unironically in a sermon from the pulpit, complaining about the "woke agenda." I can't be guided by someone so misguided. It's one thing to have an opinion, but to borrow a right-wing slur (as it's being used in that context) to drive a point is a pretty big line.
@timamor
1. Expository Bible teaching. Non-negotiable. Teach what God says in the text. If it ain't expository, it ain't preaching.
2. Understands the complexity of sin and evil. Understands that people suffer because of sins they didn't commit and doesn't treat that suffering as something to repent of. Call it "trauma-informed".
3. Spiritual friendship. Members care for each other practically *and* have gospel-flavored conversations freely.
@timamor I thought of a fourth one that might actually be a tie for third.
Poor people can be full members. Discipleship isn't paywalled. No studies they're excluded from because they can't afford the book, and no afterthought announcements ("if you can't afford the book, come see us"). Doesn't rely on expensive outside events for spiritual growth.
(Abuse prevention and response is the zeroth item on my list, for the record. I'm not shopping for it; I'm just demanding it.)
@jfslicer @timamor @JulieB I don't think the size of the congregation matters as much as the power distance. There are small groups and house churches that are little cults and bigger gatherings that are healthy.
I think it is helpful to have a particular group of people who are your "cell", the first friends you call, the people you're closest to. But as a single adult, I've experienced both care and exclusion under that model.
Basically, I'm size agnostic.
@jfslicer @cleopas @timamor @JulieB @StoneKamino I like this approach better than "tell me if you can't pay". I will say, though, that "suggested donation" language is still rough on me when I can't afford it; I still fear being quietly judged, or like I have to double check that it's really okay, and sometimes that's too much to face, so I just sit it out.
I'd feel better about something like "Please sign up if you're interested so we know how many copies/tickets we need to get. If you'd like to help us cover the costs, see Jane." That makes it clearer that there's not an expectation of payment.
@jfslicer @JulieB @timamor @StoneKamino @cleopas Right, it's less about what's in *your* head than what's going on in the *hearer's* head. People can carry a lot of shame that you didn't put there. Part of carrying one another's burdens, I think.
Similarly, a Chinese student and convert told me that one barrier to Chinese people accepting an invitation to attend church is that they think they have to pay to attend. He explains to people right up front that the offering plate is for members who choose to give, not an admission fee. My home church tradition explains that every week, too, to take that burden off. It's not that anyone *told* them that putting money in the plate was expected (like the "suggested donation" box at the entrance to Publix museums). It's just that people bring preconceptions and prior experiences with them to church.
@timamor
1. A rainbow flag. That pretty quickly lets me know most of what I need to know. A rainbow flag (without equivocating) usually comes with other good things.
2. I like a mix of old and new songs and theology that doesn't make me cringe.
3. At this point in running into problems with more inclusive churches meeting while the church I pastor is already meeting, so a Saturday or Sunday night service would be really cool.
But I'm probably a minority there.
@timamor I am looking for a new church and the top 3 things I’m looking for are:
1) A commitment to Scripture: preaching the word, unpacking it, living it, and seeking to grow.
2) A church that is racially diverse (not segregated). My area is racially diverse and my church should match that.
3) A place my wife, who has legit covid concerns, would be safe.
@timamor I notice a few things nobody has mentioned.
@timamor
0. Does not abuse people in any way, nor turn a blind eye to abuse (h/t @WordyAnchorite )
1. Is not supporting an ongoing attempt by a former head of state to de-legitimize democratic and legal processes in order to be restored to power.
2. Is not perpetrating and perpetuating racial injustice, and preventing any restoration.
3. Is not noticeably more wicked than the surrounding culture.
(I struggled with 3, b/c 0-2 probably disqualify all but one or maybe two churches in my city.)
Tim Amor
Alison Hawke
Daniel Rose
SJ McQuay
Das Dan
The Disreputable Bede
Lenten Mass
Josh
Rebecca
JulieB
James Fields 
Pizza da Campbellite
cleopas
Laura G, Sassy 70’s
David M Schell 
Richard
royal
Tawtovo (ܬܘܬܒܐ)