Adva Shaviv ☆ ADHD fantasyJul 12, 2023

I need a quick feedback on my novel's first page!

It's a cozy #fantasy inspired by #ADHD.

Details + Excerpt on my Tumblr blog: http://bit.ly/BetaOne

Thank you! Boosts appreciated 😊

#CozyFantasy #WIP #Bookstodon #BetaRead #BetaReader #BetaReaders #BetaReading #AmWriting #AmWritingFantasy @bookstodon @fantasy

✨ First-page feedback request: cozy fantasy inspired by ADHD ✨

I just saw The Gutsy Great Novelist Page One Prize and for some reason, my brain decided I participate. Not sure why. Problem is, my first page hasn't even been beta-read yet - it's a new chapter I...

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Show threadJohn Beresford

@AdvaShaviv @bookstodon @fantasy
That's a big tick on all 7 of the guidelines imo. Very original, very fresh, very intriguing. Would definitely read on. Only one catch (unusual for me, so good job!):

"...Banjo lost all control of the adoring noises spewed from his mouth."

Either (a) I'm not understanding it,
Or (b) it should be "spewing"
Or (c) it should be "noises which spewed"

Jul 12, 2023 at 7:25pmWeb
Show threadAdva Shaviv ☆ ADHD fantasyJul 12, 2023

@garretguy @bookstodon @fantasy

Thanks so much! And yes, you're right about that catch, I totally missed it!