I need a quick feedback on my novel's first page!
It's a cozy #fantasy inspired by #ADHD.
Details + Excerpt on my Tumblr blog: http://bit.ly/BetaOne
Thank you! Boosts appreciated 😊
#CozyFantasy #WIP #Bookstodon #BetaRead #BetaReader #BetaReaders #BetaReading #AmWriting #AmWritingFantasy @bookstodon @fantasy
@AdvaShaviv @bookstodon @fantasy I liked the way your first page built by dropping in one strange element after another (it IS fantasy, after all). Baby-thought. Green pom-pom. Wings. Beak. Mustache. Pipp on a different planet. Then it matured!
I'm not sure what the chocolate has to do with it.
I'd probably would keep reading to find out.
Thank you so much!
@AdvaShaviv @bookstodon @fantasy
That's a big tick on all 7 of the guidelines imo. Very original, very fresh, very intriguing. Would definitely read on. Only one catch (unusual for me, so good job!):
"...Banjo lost all control of the adoring noises spewed from his mouth."
Either (a) I'm not understanding it,
Or (b) it should be "spewing"
Or (c) it should be "noises which spewed"
@garretguy @bookstodon @fantasy
Thanks so much! And yes, you're right about that catch, I totally missed it!
Adva Shaviv ☆ ADHD fantasy
Bodling
John Beresford