Gosh it feels weird to have your Tumblr DMs with your dead friend read aloud by chatty gays on a true-crime podcast.
This would be a lot better if the hosts had, I dunno, invited someone with a basic familiarity with bear & leather subcultures to talk. There's a lot of awkward humor/scorn around basic leather stuff like collars, brands, contracts, etc., and it mixes up the stuff that was abusive with the stuff that could be--deployed by someone else--healthy.
@aphyr I wonder if there is (to paraphrase) an exaggeration of difference, a presumption of outsider superiority, and an application of clichéd analytical models for perceiving the bear & leather subculture
@aphyr this needs to be called out more. Obviously I get that this may be too personal for you, but it sucks when people reproduce and reinforce this stigmata, making it so much harder for curious people to navigate these waters safely

@aphyr It's a pitfall of podcasts in general. At least (most) reputable journalists understand that consulting SMEs is part of researching a story.

I'm sure it's not a great feeling.

@aphyr want me to give them a one star review and make catty comments about them taking a real life victim of a tragedy and turning it into an opportunity to make slut shaming murder porn for internet points?