chicago
unalive
among us yaoi
i can make him
not every single long sentence is a song title by fall out boy
the poisoner
feral pizza
sexism tw
kafka
coachella
quacking in my boobs
avignon
armageddon
peeing again
penis coladas
tumblr monastery
jeanpaul-georges ringeaux
cherry tomatoes
trucks
bred and whine
quantum theory
boss jokes
it's gonna be may
barely legal
bulls
who up pissing in they pants
transubstantiation
ra ra rasputin
catnip
mint
seahorses
literally not you
nobody said the same thing twice
a specific vagueblog but it checks out
glory hole but lawful good
welcome to the garden
gender reveal parties
a competition between the jury and the people
blood and glitter
used your country's entry to pee
dni
elvis
the ultimate bathing
my dash broke and merged two posts
bathroom sign
70s tumblr
civ v
bone pharaoh
not everything is a poem
the concoction
how eve got expelled from eden
everyone is vanilla extract
vespa
so the chief could do WHAT
everyone here is dead
you should be bad
danny boy
they didn't make it
dolly

@stavvers

Coming out of a well and she's been doing just fine

'Cause she's Mrs 9to5

@stavvers We'd like to talk to you about your student loan.

@stavvers a H🤮me Dep🤮t employee gets fired for that.

"Egregious Company Policy Violation" is what they called it. I was a Manager with 20 years with the Homophobic Depot.

@stavvers wait do they mean the guy gay voice or the woman gay voice because that reads entirely different depending on which it is
@stavvers what you're saying is if you're eating a person, add these ingredients so they taste good
@stavvers last line is missing in the image?
@stavvers Decaffeinated? That's the real crime.
@stavvers the pic looks like a sample the hospital would get from a very, very sick person.

@stavvers i now also possess the convenient knowledge that "yeah shut up, you bitch" is a valid beginning or ending haiku line.

I'm not sure how or when, but this WILL come in handy.

@stavvers clever but deliberate. The next line is a haiku as well.
@stavvers me watching armagheddon
@stavvers Don't try and tell me Wallace hasn't built some Heath Robinson fucking machine that pegs him vigorously while also buttering a crumpet.
@internetsdairy while making little putt-putt noises, and a ding at the end

@stavvers I've often thought this about getting dressed. There's the "10,000 hours to master a skill" thing, but only if it's mindful practise.

What if we were super-mindful every time we got dressed? We've all spent a fair few hours doing it. Like, you could just throw an bunch of clothes up in the air and kung-fu and outfit onto your body before they hit the floor.

@stavvers yep that was literally my verdict on spain