My man was refreshing his tweet staring at his view count the whole time he was at the Super Bowl and then, instead of going to an after party orgy like a normal billionaire, got right on his private jet to yell at tired engineers who scrambled down to the office on a Sunday night.
Winning!
Imagining him calling an all-hands codeathon session to get this "problem" "fixed", frantically hoping they can do it without anybody outside the company finding out, because that's like the only thing that he really fears, being seen as a pitiful needy dweeb who has to buy his likes
All depends on secrecy. Every aspect of his self-worth hangs on whether they can make this work without anyone finding out.
And like two days later, boom lmao
I mean it wasn’t subtle. Overnight he was literally the only thing that would show up in that “for you” thing. Everyone noticed that twitter was forcing musk tweets to the top of the timeline, and anyone with a greater than baseline capacity for pattern recognition than him immediately connected the dots and figured out what he’d done.
I just didn’t realize the reason was even pettier than even we could imagine
Truly, reality is even more pathetic than the theories we come up with as a joke. The billionaire threw a toddler tantrum because the president of the United States got more engagement than he did. And he even deleted the tweet that started this with, I can only assume, tears of impotent rage in his little eyes.
This might genuinely be the most pathetic thing I have ever seen.
Guess that’s the end of the blocking feature...
I feel like the twitter engineers going to be up for another long day tomorrow
Wasn't it only like just a week ago that he was crowing about how he had saved Twitter from bankruptcy?
"trending toward breakeven" or some such nonsense lol
https://www.cnbc.com/2023/02/15/elon-musk-aiming-to-appoint-new-twitter-ceo-by-end-of-2023.html
Another expose on twitter internals:
-Elon is on meth 24/7 and running things like a cartoon caricature of steve jobs, making everyone do 80 hour weeks and firing them for cause if they say the wrong word
-Twitter now has 1 principal engineer (he fired the other one for telling him he’s not popular)
-Elon also suggested banning everyone not from the US or Japan to cut costs and make the whole thing a subscription service
https://www.businessinsider.com/elon-musk-twitter-tesla-crisis-mood-intensity-2023-2
Damn, the man is desperate
jesus christ he's doing the dril tweet irl
this is all so pathetic
really funny that he's claiming a 'review' proves it's false but not actually posting any data
https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/02/16/elon-musk-twitter/
the reduced engagement simply cannot be a result of people being driven off of the platform by elon's behavior or elon's shitty fucking tweets. he's posting just as well as he always has, and he has a hundred million followers. how many folllowers do you have??? aha exactly, not that many friend journalist!!! gottem
he literally can't face the reality that he simply is a repellent man baby with the worlds thinnest skin, he has to insist that no he's actually been posting bangers this whole time
so pissed about paying those service costs and couldn't prove definitively that the vendors were explicitly scamming the company that he's scrapping an industry wide best practices feature
what could go wrong
Twitter: had all the big mainstream brands that you'd see advertising on TV during the superbowl (but no longer)
Instragram: all the ads are for fake face creams or real pyramid schemes
Elon thinking Insta was something to emulate explains a lot
Ah, figures that Elon firing most of the workers got rid of everyone fighting the actual SMS fraud so he got hit by a big bill and now he thinks paywalling sms 2fa will fix it (it won't)
Someone pointed out that Biden went to the Ukraine today and it didn't trend once despite posts being liked by 50k +.
Elmo is such a little bitch lol
if scolding stone is the best he's got maybe it's good that he usually steals others jokes
pushing half-developed features to prod is fine, just add a flag to hide them in the clientside javascript
this person has already accomplished more than geohotz ever managed
lmao, what a gross stain of a human
Also Zuby continues to be this weird crazy nexus of "Guy who utterly irrelevant and inconsequential even on Twitter, yet all the Worst People You Know are real big fans of him somehow"
here is a nice pithy encapsulation of bazinga logic
maybe he should run less companies if his goal is to get us to mars
maybe he's not actually that interested in getting us to mars if he's running several companies at once and they're all flailing about randomly
elon stopped paying his salesforce bills and slack died
https://fortune.com/2023/02/08/twitter-cost-cutting-software-salesforce-elon-musk/
imagine all the institutional knowledge that just went up in smoke, whoops!
good thing they still have all their longtime/senior employees with things locked up tight in the brain vau-- oh. oh no.
I'm sure there was no important automated services that relied on it either
If I’m slack I keep the lights on to keep racking up payments and fuck over Elon then sue lmao
https://www.platformer.news/p/new-cracks-emerge-in-elon-musks-twitter
can't wait for Matt Taibbi to post a 42-tweets long thread about this
"That same day, Jira — a tool Twitter uses to track everything from progress on feature updates to regulatory compliance — also stopped working. With no way to chat and no code to ship, most engineers took the day off.
Jira access was restored on Thursday.
Slack remained down at the company on Thursday. While some employees communicated over email, others essentially took a second day off."
https://www.theverge.com/2023/2/24/23613288/twitter-slack-jira-outages-performance-degradation
"Negative feedback is a good thing, which is why everyone who likes me enough to pay a monthly fee gets their replies boosted to the top"
also if there are scammer accounts he knows about why did he just block them instead of having the accounts removed
Elon's probably going to crack down on mass blocking soon, especially with the increasing popularity of the twitter blue blocklist.
It owns that how shit as jack was as a person regarding the worst people on twitter, that the current lead is literally a junkie obsessing over all the worst aspects of being a serious twitter power via constantly checking his views and impressions and likes every day compulsively to see how many people like him and has made a hell of his own making.
A billionaire takes over the “public square” and suddenly there is less oversight of him, politicians, and far right nazis in said square 🤔
https://www.propublica.org/article/politwoops-deleted-tweets-twitter-politicians-musk
Whether officials were deleting an embarrassing post or just correcting a typo, Politwoops tracked them all. But service changes made after Elon Musk’s acquisition of Twitter have rendered it impossible for us to continue tracking these tweets.
"No you see i did make a post about trump doing it" (makes a 52 post thread about censoring the right even while trump was in power.)
don't have to pay bills if you don't have a department of payments
https://www.reuters.com/article/twitter-layoffs-idUSKBN2V0038
lmao she ate dirt for Musk and got shown the door
Twitter Inc <a href="https://www.reuters.com/companies/TWTR.MX" target="_blank">(TWTR.MX)</a> has laid off at least 200 employees, or about 10% of its workforce, the New York Times <a href="https://nyti.ms/3SxfUSo" target="_blank">reported</a> late on Sunday, in its latest round of job cuts since Elon Musk took over the micro-blogging site last October.
“Twitter's employment agreement says these will be individually arbitrated, so that's what we're doing," Liss-Riordan said. "We're looking forward to the day when Elon Musk comes to his senses and realizes it's much cheaper to pay people what they are owed.
https://www.businessinsider.com/elon-musk-faces-130-million-legal-cost-twitter-severance-2023-2
This guy figured out how to crack the For You engagement algorithm
https://www.garbageday.email/p/i-remembered-how-awful-it-is-to-go
Twitter will do great under the scam tunnels guy
https://www.platformer.news/p/in-latest-round-of-twitter-cuts-some
I'm so glad Elon is looking into this
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/28/technology/twitter-outages-elon-musk.html
apparently the rev share system is actually live, at least for some users?
initial results are not promising though lol
@cspam Stock options in a private company that has every appearance of being in a power dive for the ground?
How generous of him...
@cspam That guy Jason is ridiculous. It's wild how frequently these people have to come up with new conspiracy theories to explain why many people don't like them and don't want to engage or listen to them.
It's not a mystery! When people are boorish conspiracy devotees, they're just not fun to be around.
@cspam
Who will elon place in charge of twitter when he steps down?
A. Bannon
B. donald jr
C. Manafort
D. Putin
@cspam I remember when I thought "hey! electric car! internet everywhere! these are all good ideas... So I'm glad he's pushing them!
Imagine my disappointment when I learned he was another capitalist rat f**k sales person.
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