So, I’ve never been to a #Jewish #funeral, and I have questions.
1. Is there wailing? (depends on ethnicity?).
2. Is the casket open?
3. Are there any Halachic rulings on what to do if a burial area is not available?
For context:
- been to a few Anglican funerals in the UK. Very staid and stiff upper lip.
- been to several #Japanese funerals. Open casket, cremation, passing bones with chopsticks. No #wailing.
- Taiwan has professional wailers
1. Never been to a Sephardic funeral, but the Ashkenazi ones I've been to have had people experience their pain as quietly as they can (which is not always completely silent). No professional wailing, but, you know, some people get really sad, in a normal way.
2. Casket is never open. I don't know if that's allowed?
3. I have no idea. I know that having a grave plot is a big deal related to synagogue membership, so people are usually prepared
@elana Thank you! I did wonder if there’s a general difference between Sephardic and Ashkenaz. Mizrahi must be different I imagine.
Thanks for answering. These are things that are often taboo to talk about but I feel it’s knowledge worth knowing!
@sheepchase
1. No wailing, lots of tears.
2. Closed casket—a simple wood one, it’s generally considered best to remember them as you knew them, rather than seeing them in it. *Also it’s not unusual to have damaged prayerbooks and chumashim buried with them.
3. Not sure. It’s allowed to delay if no space is available, or travel is necessary.
*Edit: I got this part wrong, see replies below.
@JamesPadraicR Thank you! Had no idea bout the damaged prayer books or chumashim. Is that because it’s a dignified way to dispose of them or is it to be with the soul?
(Oh hang on… when does the soul leave the body, with the last breath?… I’ll make a new thread).
@sheepchase Had to look it up to remind me. Traditionally any text with the Hebrew name of god is considered a holy object and should not simply be thrown away, so are either kept in a separate space or buried in a container.
I may be mistaken about them being buried in a casket with a body, none of the references I found mention it. Maybe it’s too sensitive to mention? Or I may have made an assumption about it.
I'll circle back to this later since I want to give a more substantial reply that also touches on the mourning process. For now, I think the answer from @statsjew is the closest to what I would say
As others have said, the body needs to be buried and in the ground as soon as possible. This is usually interpreted as less than 24 hours.
There is sometimes a mourning service beforehand but that's not traditional. At the burial itself, the mourners will each a few shovels worth of dirt over the casket/body.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bereavement_in_Judaism does an ok job covering the entire process and giving terms to know for specific steps.
Most of the mourning happens afterwards, particularly during shiva. This is when friends are most likely to comfort the bereaved.
https://reformjudaism.org/everything-you-need-know-about-jewish-custom-shiva
goes through some of that process
sheepchase
Elana
Jaime Robertson
James M. Branum יעקב מתתיהו
ראַף 🟣