Corbincobb
ᔅᑕᕐᐗᓪonce again I am reminding you of that time the CIA sent someone to assassinate Fidel Castro and he looked her in the eyes while she was holding a gun up to him and he went 'im too sexy to die' and then they fucked
*hands you a gun, you take aim at him* but he just goes, "You can't kill me. Nobody can kill me."
god I wish I were so sexy as to be immortal, that fucking rocks
I cannot stress to you enough how this was an important historical event, the fact that it's labeled as a "conspiracy theory" is because the CIA doesn't want to be seen losing face in such a complete way
Castro also bent the apparatus of the state to his whim in order to get what he wanted and denied to him by the West (ice cream)
something I think if we were being honest with ourselves we would all do if given authority over the economy of an entire nation
"dairy was his space race" this man is a hero
food in training@starwall between visiting a big rock that's far away and making ice cream, i know what's more important to me
who is morgan@starwall he's just like me for real
@ItsMorgan this is why I've been saying you would make such a great dictator
@ItsMorgan I mean, one of many reasons obviously.
Corsair of Mastodon@starwall honestly as a man who is deeply in love with ice cream I completely understand this
My name is Gloria Actually@starwall god he rules so hard
Sid 🇵🇸@starwall a communist super cow. True hero of communist labor
Blue@starwall space race: requires massive amounts of funding that could have gone to healthcare, infrastructure, etc; leaves a lot of junk in orbit
Publicly praising cows: perfect, no notes
Publicly praising cows: perfect, no notes
gkrnours@starwall most dictators would have kept the ice cream themselves. That he made a parlor able to serve 1,000 people hint that he cared about his people more than most politics today
Angela Glansbury 🚽
Boring@starwall I am so ugly I would be assassinated easily.
Sad.
Sad.
holly hoppet 
@starwall this is wild wow
@hoppet im still in absolute awe over this man who evaded assassination by the CIA by simply being too hot to die
@starwall this story is so wild cause it's basically something out of a movie
👻™ supreme goblin 🐊
Tim Magee@starwall Is AOOO doing Castro fanfic now?
Brian Ragle (he/him/his) 🇺🇸🖖🏼@starwall [Electrochemistry 1% IMPOSSIBLE] Success
toot the bad cone@starwall mission failed successfully
alarmed feet operative: kimothy siddon@starwall didn't he get killed after someone catfished his son essentially?
Jess@starwall Castro dick must've been insane if she said she'd be back