tell me about your instagram likes and follows without saying it
I can’t tell if he’s talking about the like count or the page that lets us see which nazis elon is liking recently. either one is lol

accessibility support is exactly the kind of thing that “hardcore” “hackers” who like to bro down and crush code would see as stupid woke garbage but is actually super important and makes your product better overall

elon and his heritage really bringing "dutch-built" as a synonym for shoddy work back to the fore

what is the boring company doing that requires that guy to live at work

https://www.theinformation.com/articles/musk-may-have-found-a-hardcore-leader-for-twitter

Musk May Have Found a Hardcore Leader for Twitter

Like many new dads, The Boring Company CEO Steve Davis spent the first few weeks of fatherhood sleeping near his partner and newborn. Unlike other new fathers, Davis and his family were sleeping in an office—a makeshift bedroom at Twitter’s San Francisco headquarters, where Davis has spent the ...

The Information
he sounded like fun
it's back! kinda!

he recognized that the tool in question was getting in way of his goal of maximizing trans kid suicides

https://www.reuters.com/technology/elon-musk-orders-removal-twitter-suicide-prevention-feature-sources-say-2022-12-23/

Exclusive: Twitter removes suicide prevention feature, says it's under revamp

Twitter Inc removed a feature in the past few days that promoted suicide prevention hotlines and other safety resources to users looking up certain content, according to two people familiar with the matter who said it was ordered by new owner Elon Musk.

Reuters
He's like a kid who downloads Tweak UI for the first time
Musk isn't even a bottom-tier poster, he's not even a fishmech

looks like privacy and data protection laws are just a few of the ones musk doesn't think will be enforced meaningfully

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2022/12/24/elon-musk-twitter-meltdown-tesla/

Twitter brings Elon Musk’s genius reputation crashing down to earth

Musk went down conspiracy rabbit holes and sank Tesla's stock with his behavior. And he was confronted with a chorus of boos in the cradle of the tech industry.

The Washington Post
real big surprise this fuckwit is a covid truther
Yes, that screen cap is real. Totally normal CEO thing to talk about unplugging random servers at 4am on Xmas Eve morning, on a Saturday.

lol he's literally muntzing a giant multinational machine

if there was any question as to whether Musk was kicked out of PayPal for wanting to move everything to Windows, let this be effective confirmation. He was never good at any of this, he just had some good PR for a bit.

lol he spent the whole holiday being bitter and vindictive about his ex and also his kid that hates him

a christmas carol but visited by jeff epstein, somebody who burned to death in a model 3, and lowtax

merry christmas elon
This is how we know that twitter is still in the fast lane to bankruptcy
"twitter is fine, even when i unplug shit it just works"

It just hit me that he really turned around mid-fight to go to Sacramento to personally shut down one of Twitter's three remaining data centers on fucking Christmas Eve, and I burst out laughing.

I feel bad for the H1bs left to deal with the fallout though.

Apparently, Sacramento and Atlanta are supposed to be about 1 to 1 in function, designed for consensus and mirroring, with Portland being roughly half capable of that. So theoretically, you can hard shut off Sacramento and it all fails over to ATL and PDX seamlessly, but the "Looney Tunes character sawing off the tree branch they're standing on"-analogy is very accurate at this point

lol this is what happens if you select text in a tweet on android twitter

great job guys

if you're a repressive regime it’s easier and faster to just buy access to Twitter’s internal tools

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2022/12/24/elon-musk-twitter-funders/

Here’s who helped Elon Musk buy Twitter

Elon Musk didn't buy Twitter on his own. From Qatar to Jack Dorsey and Binance, meet the people who helped fund the acquisition.

The Washington Post
ah yes, the fourth reich, and elon as texico's president

So someone made a grafana dashboard with various Twitter metrics, first amongst them latency measurements of Sacramento and Atlanta, and guess what happened right around Elon's "Twitter is Rube Goldberg, doesn't break when unplugging essential things" tweets:

https://deadbird.singlepane.io/d/Z_aqE2d4z/twitter-death-watch-basic-overview?orgId=4&from=1671609600000&to=1671955199000

Grafana

Glass Onion
Interesting morning

"The men in Musk’s phone also appear wildly confident in their own abilities and those of their peers. Mathias Döpfner, the CEO of the media conglomerate Axel Springer, infamously texted Musk his bullet-pointed plan for Twitter, which began with the line item “1.),, Solve Free Speech.”"

https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2022/12/elon-musk-texts-twitter-purchase-exhibit-h/672595/

Elon Musk’s Text Messages Explain Everything

A disastrous year for the tech industry, captured for eternity in a billionaire’s private exchanges

The Atlantic
elon shouldn’t have fired radium
WORKSFORME WONTFIX
Twitter in data-protection probe after '400 million' user details up for sale

Politicians and celebrities are said to be affected but the scale of the data breach is unverified.

BBC News
People dunked on him so hard for overusing the crying-laughing emoji that he's swapped it out for "haha" and "hehehe"
They're literally in the middle of shuttering the substack-clone newsletter service they acquired and integrated pre-Musk
jason still thinks that let that sink in is a cool catchphrase…..
musk in science understander buzzword mode spreading conspiracy theories over the holidays

twitter fucking loves science! bazinga!

lmao he doesn’t know what science is

much like fsd he has no self-awareness so he can't see the irony there, of course

having a normal one

the divorced losers are congregating

we're going to get some sort of divorce singularity, causing never before seen cope levels

watching this clownshow at twitter and thinking, these people want my credit card information. so they can make monthly charges. lmao

man who painted himself into a corner: "wow how did all this paint get here?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZlOhSt_qW0

it's my first day

YouTube
Wasn't this what the FTC consent decree was about?
speaking of things that are legal and cool,

by february the twitter office will be a bunch of cheap desks from staples under a tent on the parking lot of the tesla factory, right next to the car building tent

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2022-12-31/twitter-sued-for-nonpayment-of-rent-on-san-francisco-office

Twitter Sued for Nonpayment of Rent on San Francisco Office

Twitter Inc. was sued for failing to pay $136,250 in rent for its office space in San Francisco.

Bloomberg

tragic, can't even win cat turd 2 over

Disliked and without social cachet anywhere, wandering fucking twitter cliques looking for a home. Steadily getting iced out from anyone except the cachet of bazingas he can't stand.

He's going to have a neurotic breakdown. Gonna snap like a Phoenix Wright witness

hell yeah bucket of free pets, thanks twitter advertisers
I'd guess every feature they've rolled out since he took over is something they've previously tried and discarded

[taking a giant huff of paint]

"yeah all three novels were about a woke mind virus"

"pronouns suck"

"if you redact them, sure, release them unredacted"

narrator: the u.s. government did not ask them to remove the accounts

imagine the us government and various agencies of it taking an interest in a communication platform that can be trivially exploited by practically anyone. Imagine that!

the whole thing can be summed up as "twitter gets asked to do stuff and sometimes says yes and sometimes says no, but had a process in place", but seeing as elon fired everyone involved in that process I guess it's all just fine now!

lol, lmao. I'm sure that'll rake in the dough
I was time person of the year in 2006, they let anyone be a person of the year
Going well I see
Musk made it so the algorithm rids of bad posting. But his tweets don’t appear. Interesting.
Hackers leak email addresses tied to 235 million Twitter accounts

Researchers say the information was assembled by unknown actors who exploited a previously disclosed flaw in Twitter's system for verifying account ownership.

The Washington Post
imagine getting roasted by catturd2
Becoming increasingly convinced that he's planning to rip the copper wire out of the walls and then declare bankruptcy
Twitter hacked, 200 million user email addresses leaked, researcher says

Hackers stole the email addresses of more than 200 million Twitter users and posted them on an online hacking forum, a security researcher said Wednesday.

Reuters
Why not done?
The woke mind virus already won
Social Media Platforms Are Failing Brazil's Voters

The stakes could not be higher in Brazil’s election. Yet tech platforms are predictably failing to meet the moment. More than 120 million Brazilians voted in the first round of elections on October 2. A second round on October 30 will determine Brazil’s next president.

Human Rights Watch
Musk Has Reduced Twitter’s Ability to Spot Foreign Disinformation, a Former Data Scientist Says

Staff layoffs are just one way the new CEO has undermined the platform’s three-legged approach to the problem.

Defense One
@cspam It seems this egomaniac can’t keep his nose out of other gov’s elections, let alone ours. But anyway, I feel I’m just now starting to detox from Twitter after nearly a month of abstinence and spiritual work 😎. I don’t miss it.
@cspam Catturd got it right with "rouge", the red in Elmo is strong these days.

@cspam is there a more colossal meltdown in history than what we’re witnessing right now with this guy?

Twitter was a behemoth - Tesla was on pace to change the entire industry… SpaceX did… space stuff, I guess. Seems impressive.

Someone should have just locked him in an office with a pretend phone that fed into a pretend internet (maybe also Trump gets one) and let him vent like Creed’s blog on The Office.

@cspam - Losing all the deadwood, I see, leaving the company even leaner AND meaner! #nyuck
@cspam And I note that at least two instances of catturd2 here on #johnMastodon have been 'suspended.'
@cspam What's a little fraud between billionaires and their fans?