Twitter Death Cultif you're a repressive regime it’s easier and faster to just buy access to Twitter’s internal tools
https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2022/12/24/elon-musk-twitter-funders/
So someone made a grafana dashboard with various Twitter metrics, first amongst them latency measurements of Sacramento and Atlanta, and guess what happened right around Elon's "Twitter is Rube Goldberg, doesn't break when unplugging essential things" tweets:
"The men in Musk’s phone also appear wildly confident in their own abilities and those of their peers. Mathias Döpfner, the CEO of the media conglomerate Axel Springer, infamously texted Musk his bullet-pointed plan for Twitter, which began with the line item “1.),, Solve Free Speech.”"
People dunked on him so hard for overusing the crying-laughing emoji that he's swapped it out for "haha" and "hehehe"
They're literally in the middle of shuttering the substack-clone newsletter service they acquired and integrated pre-Musk
musk in science understander buzzword mode spreading conspiracy theories over the holidays
twitter fucking loves science! bazinga!
lmao he doesn’t know what science is
much like fsd he has no self-awareness so he can't see the irony there, of course
the divorced losers are congregating
we're going to get some sort of divorce singularity, causing never before seen cope levels
watching this clownshow at twitter and thinking, these people want my credit card information. so they can make monthly charges. lmao
man who painted himself into a corner: "wow how did all this paint get here?"
it's my first day
by february the twitter office will be a bunch of cheap desks from staples under a tent on the parking lot of the tesla factory, right next to the car building tent
tragic, can't even win cat turd 2 over
Disliked and without social cachet anywhere, wandering fucking twitter cliques looking for a home. Steadily getting iced out from anyone except the cachet of bazingas he can't stand.
He's going to have a neurotic breakdown. Gonna snap like a Phoenix Wright witness
I'd guess every feature they've rolled out since he took over is something they've previously tried and discarded
[taking a giant huff of paint]
"yeah all three novels were about a woke mind virus"
"pronouns suck"
narrator: the u.s. government did not ask them to remove the accounts
imagine the us government and various agencies of it taking an interest in a communication platform that can be trivially exploited by practically anyone. Imagine that!
the whole thing can be summed up as "twitter gets asked to do stuff and sometimes says yes and sometimes says no, but had a process in place", but seeing as elon fired everyone involved in that process I guess it's all just fine now!
I was time person of the year in 2006, they let anyone be a person of the year
Musk made it so the algorithm rids of bad posting. But his tweets don’t appear. Interesting.
sorry. sorry im trying to delete it
https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/01/04/witter-leak-emails-handles/
Becoming increasingly convinced that he's planning to rip the copper wire out of the walls and then declare bankruptcy
The hacking will continue until morale improves
Social Media Platforms Are Failing Brazil's Voters
The stakes could not be higher in Brazil’s election. Yet tech platforms are predictably failing to meet the moment. More than 120 million Brazilians voted in the first round of elections on October 2. A second round on October 30 will determine Brazil’s next president.
Lmao, and he demands they only say nice things about Elon for life
Elon bro you’re subject to Warn and the CA equivalent bro what are you doing you’re just gonna send these folks to the plaintiff attorneys
https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1612517929593229312.html
https://www.businessinsider.com/elon-musk-twitter-employee-severance-agreements-2023-1
Don't even need to do any digging to know that every person here is a lying moron
Note that Gregory Eady, the guy who published this paper (and apparently another that's almost exactly the same two years ago?) has his personal twitter covered in "SILENCED!!!!" and "SHADOWBANNED" garbage and quietly boosting Elon Musk supporters. The paper's co-author is Joshua Tucker, a quasi-Russian apologist (or at least neutralist) mouthpiece
lmao he's really gonna do it? blue only votes so he can win all of his own dumb polls, in a bald-faced sop to his own ego. all because a bunch of people told him to get fucked and he can't handle it?
my god, the corn cobbing here is astronomical
Discover a new world of cringe by digging into Elon's "likes"
ELON: I… try? Not to uhhhh pick? Fights? But I do erm finish. Them *manages to unsheathe sword on the third try*
If you thought the Tesla folks who were transferred over to Twitter were safe, lol, lmao
This is the only way he could have shut down twitter. I mean it would have been great if he had some kind of John Galt speech and then shut the whole thing down, but there would have been all this infrastructure lying around. But by destroying any legitimacy and then letting it all fall apart slowly, that's more natural.
"Amir Shevat, who managed Twitter’s developer platform and had led large teams at Amazon, Google, and Microsoft, was perplexed. Every company did stack ranking differently. Should they sort workers by seniority? Impact? Revenue generated? No one had an answer. “They said, ‘We don’t know. Elon wants a stack rank,’” Shevat says."
https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/elon-musk-twitter-takeover.html
"The project succeeded in generating large lists of names, but because different managers had ranked employees according to their own methods, the results were incoherent. “If I were to get that list, I would probably throw it in the garbage because it’s completely useless,” Shevat says."
elon did ask for stack ranking, he just didn't specify what to rank on lol
weird how excess mortality is so much higher than reported covid deaths if we're overcounting
look, people are dying of a lot of things, all the time, moreso than usual even.
doesn't mean it's covid. could be anything killing those people
sometimes people just die. none of my business.
Repo Man: Sometimes people just explode
"i see that you blocked some nazis, here's more nazis for you to see going forward"
thanks Elon, this makes total sense 🙄
lol we've been trying to tell people this is how the internet works for a decade while the social media companies did everything in their power to hide it
and he just tweeted it out
lmao that the richest man on the planet for some reason burned billions of dollars to please a misanthropic sixty year old Florida man
and he’s failing
CurtAdams@cspam The denialists know COVID is driving the horrifying mortality increases. Anybody who honestly thought it was anything else would be in a panic to figure out what it was.
ZZ Bottom
stephen judkins@cspam works be pretty mad about this if I were a Tesla shareholder
Ponygirl@cspam What a weirdo.