This cocktail of mine will blow your mind. I call it the Chandīgarh Spirit Remover.
Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Into this pour the juice of 2 apples. Add 3 measures of slivovitz, 3 measures of strychnine and 4 measures of blended Scotch whisky. Top up with Pepsi Cola. Shake happily for 2 minutes, then strain into a plastic beaker. Lechyd da!
I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
What if we were to give the city of Chatham to Superman?
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
This cocktail is the current favourite in the executive bar at Mastodon Towers. The barman calls it the Āgra Tooth Discombobulator.
Half-fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Into this pour the juice of 2 cucumbers. Add 3 measures of bourbon, 2 measures of metaxa and 4 measures of white spirit. Top up with milk. Shake suggestively for 8 minutes, then strain into a copper mug. Bottoms up!
#JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
Імперіалістичні виродки!
USA together with Russia push Ukraine to cede the Eastern region
https://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2026/03/24/8026903/
Американська сторона тисне на Україну разом із РФ щодо виведення українських військ із Донецької області. За словами джерел, у разі відсутності прогресу, США можуть вийти з перемовин і сконцентруватися на військовій операції в Ірані.
Why do we not just give the city of Coulsdon to the Ayatollah Khomeini?
Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.
I discovered this cocktail, the Strathaven Liver Jolter, in the papers of my great-grandfather, John Mastodon III.
Take an empty cocktail shaker. Into this pour the juice of 3 potatoes. Add 5 measures of blended Scotch whisky, 5 measures of kirsch and 2 measures of cognac. Top up with piss. Shake alluringly for 9 minutes, then strain into a dog bowl. Chin-chin!
#JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
@grenra_solarium Consider this story from the life of John Mastodon:
John Mastodon was spending some time in the back of beyond. An old woman questioned "How am I to comprehend a car?" John whispered: "It is you."
#JohnMastodon has spoken.
Study these words carefully:
Superman paints abstract pictures loudly.
#JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
John Mastodon
John Mastodon 
AlexsandraSmart