This week in D&D we:
- found out what we had thrown rocks at
- negotiated a mulligan for our first ever 'killed outright' character (a wizard / old lady whose first instinct was to go melee)
- tore through all our healing potions
- eventually killed 2 to 3 slimes
- discovered there were no cheese sandwiches left
- gave the stink-eye to some orcs
- reached the heady heights of... level 2!
This week in D&D we:
- joined the discord from a bus *
- had a big refreshing sleep
- checked in on a windmill
- ordered cheese(?) sandwiches(?) in broken gnomish
- did a flip and potentially a wall run
- robot-crab whispered
- Hid behind an employee
* not all of us
This week in D&D we:
- had sinusitis *
- irritated our way past the guards
- stabbed a rug up real good
- rescued a gnome
- investigated the same gnome’s brutal murder
- held a thing
- brainstormed a ‘sanity gun’
- received a royal commission
- fired arrows at random objects
- found a mimic (see above)
* not all of us
This week in D&D we:
- nearly got eaten by a mimic
- killed it just in time
- were rewarded with magic items (some suspiciously similar to the ones from the 80s cartoon)
- FINALLY got some sandwiches
- fought rats in a windmill
- saw a shadowy figure
- snuck up a hill
- talked to some orcs
- began the arduous process of planning how to get a in a fight with said orcs (TBC)
This week in D&D we:
- looked forward to some downtime
- had breakfast
- heard about some mushrooms, in a cave, with a bear
- decided to fight a bear
- went to a cave
- found a bear
- ...being eaten by zombies
- were attacked by zombies
- ...and potentially a zombie bear
- GREEEEEASE
- played zombie snooker
- ...?
This week in D&D we:
- killed all zombies
- named Grease as party MVP
- took a short rest around a burning bear
- attempted a wallrun over running water (x2)
- fell in running water (x2)
- found the mushrooms we forgot we were looking for
- burned down a(nother) door
- reached level 3! (It's swashbuckling time)
- chose the way of the gun
- asked around town
- planned some downtime
Next week in D&D:
- Lasers and Feelings!
This week in... Lasers and Feelings we:
- Reintroduced Dr. Shakamoto
- Built a Discord bot
- had a lot of feelings
- took a lot of missile fire
- investigated a temporal anomaly
- saved / scared a scientist and his beautiful daughter
- made a plan
- made a documentary
- carried out a plan
- won (if such a thing exists)
- ate some sausages and drunk some beer (hopefully)
Next week in Lasers and Feelings:
- D&D!
This week in D&D (also last week cause I forgot at the time) we:
- cased the joint / slept in a bush
- started doing up our ride
- got a mysterious note
- investigated a manor
- did some renovations with Thunder Wave
- snuck up on a big creature in a tunnel
- left the session on a cliffhanger (would 'Operation We All Shoot It At The Same Time' be a success?)
- it was
- turns out it was a basilisk
- riled some leeches
- obtained more cheese
- found a big key
- GREEEEEASE
- opened a big lock
- wandered into a room full of corpses, which promptly got up
- rolled initiative
Next week in D&D: TPK(?)
This week in D&D we:
- spent a ki to disengage with 5 zombies
- wondered why they kept getting back up
- observed once more that the wizard is not a good choice of tank
- invoked a walking flamethrower
- did a trick shot
- eventually put down the Zombie That Would Not Die
- found that someone else had already cleared the place out
- scored a tasteful storage solution
- obtained a well-appointed underground base
- decided to go for a pint
Next week on D&D: we bully the mayor!
This week in D&D we:
- bullied the mayor! (20gp)
- carried a basilisk head around
- went to the pub
- met a wee dragon man
- got some gamblers drunk
- did some gambling (successfully)
- Sold some basilisk glands (10gp)
- Finally got to midnight (when one of us had to meet someone behind the pub for 'information on their lineage... alone')
- Set up a panic word for our stones of sending
- (cheese sandwich)
- Used the panic word
- Panicked
- Ran out screaming the panic word, waking up 20% of our party
- Ambushed an ambush
- Realised the ambush was local dickheads
- Neutralised 2 of 3 dickheads without incident
Next week in D&D: interrogate two dickheads!
This week in D&D we:
- split the party (last time in D&D)
- took some dickheads to the (other) pub
- (meanwhile) heard the front door open
- (meanwhile) interrogated some dickheads
- (meanwhile) snuck downstairs to investigate
- (meanwhile) knocked out a dickhead, encouraged the other
- (meanwhile) met two black-eyed grey-skinned dwarves in a bedroom
- (meanwhile) ordered another round, and found out a bald man with an unseeable face had paidto mess with us
- (meanwhile) rolled initiative
- (meanwhile) bribed the landlady with a sandwich (unsuccessful) and then gold (successful)
- (meanwhile) barely made a dent, and do those dwarves look bigger than they did before..?
- (meanwhile) attempted to leave the pub gracefully (unsuccessful)
- (meanwhile) attempted to flee the house (successful)
- (meanwhile) wandered back
- (meanwhile) screamed for help
- Reunited the party
- Followed some normal-sized dwarf tracks (unsuccessful)
- Went to bed
Next week in D&D: an ox named Vincent!
This week in D&D we:
- set out on a journey with an ox named Vincent
- rolled some 1s (in a good way)
- fed some grubby dwarves (-5 rations)
- navigated the woods
- saw a weird stone, and left it alone
- realised we'd been swindled (but we had backup wine so no harm, no foul)
- glamped
- got to the logging camp (where we need a signature)
- sent the rogue on ahead
- our Close Combat Wizard also went on ahead
- oh no
- fought a giant ant-mantis creature
- just about managed that
Next week on D&D: signature! (?)
This week in D&D we:
- came up with like, six plans
- implemented all of them
- dealt with a tremors type situation
- rolled a barrel
- did a critical hit that upset the DM
- beat a big ant monster to death
- met the mayor's brother (and bullied him)
- ADDITIONAL BIG ANT MONSTER
- failed to shoot through a window
- got that god damn signature
- left the way we came
- suddenly: medium dragon!
Next week on D&D: medium dragon!
This week in D&D we:
- attacked a medium dragon, who may or may not have noticed
- attempted to hide (unsuccessfully)
- stayed in character
- rescued Vincent the Ox (aka Dragonsbane)
- got carried away
- regretted our choices
- hit every branch on the way down
- slept
- debated the relative merits of invincible bandits / vincible orcs
- gained a reputation for huddles
- left a baffling message
- set out for adventure
- rolled a 6 (in a bad way)
Next time on D&D: nothing good, probably
This week in D&D we:
- found a clearing of Orcsicles
- explosively punched a wolf
- found the place
- made a plan
- split into teams (team quiet and team loud)
- came up with 'The Stealth Song'
- failed our stealth rolls and got spotted (team quiet)
- aced our stealth rolls (team loud)
- failed to open a door
- climbed some walls
- opened a door (loudly)
- [all hell breaks loose]
- SUDDENLY, RATS
- did some damage but left things largely unresolved
Next time on D&D: resolution!
This week in D&D we:
- verified that the multiple sources who had described 'invincible bandits' had been correct
- critically failed anyway
- did some damage, saw it heal
- parlayed (with literature)
- found out the bandits were displaced from their homes
- suggested an alternative solution
- met Rupert, who we know from small times
- left on good terms
- took Rupert to the good pub
- went on to the bad pub
- took part in The Punching Game (we all won / lost)
- negotiated a mining co-op wherein local workers own the means of production
- had our best resolution to a fight ever (see above)
- levelled up (using the power of communism) – level 4!
Next time on D&D: orcs, probably
This week in D&D we:
- did some shopping
- stashed some gold
- discussed our next adventure
- hiked weast
- went to the pub
- met a sailor who didn't give a shit about the sea
- went to a shit town
- met the victims of our (second-hand) crimes
- left a shit town
- okay back to this lighthouse right
- met a polite crab who outranked us
- also met a ghost
- also met some harpies (roll initiative)
Next week: lighthouse!
This week in D&D we:
- found the harpies extremely charming
- failed to (acrobatically) climb a cliff
- veered wildly between 1s and 20s
- reached the lighthouse
- posed as window cleaners (I think they bought it)
- demanded to see the manager
- shot first
- didn't notice those orcs
- stood in a line, and suffered the consequences
- got a lucky shot in
- did a surprising number of heals
- found a conch shell for a ghost
Next week: do we own a lighthouse now?
This week in D&D we:
- debated whether this was a spiral staircase or not
- went up the spiral staircase
- got blinded by the light
- wrapped an evil heart in furs, remotely
- resolved a ghost's unfinished business
- received a magic oar from a big friendly crab
- did SCIENCE (from a pocket dimension)
- pressed the Long Rest button for the first time
- gained lightning powers! Accidentally! Doing a spot of DIY!
Next week: grease? lightning?
This week in D&D we:
- somehow tore ourselves away from the empty lighthouse
- went back to the half-built town who may or may not have said they would pay us
- found out they felt themselves on the 'may not' side of that particular equation
- ate a number of fish
- spoke to The Council, a supergroup of People Who Were Already Sick of Us
- BOAT TRIP
- didn't fight a big eel
- did a vibe check in the pub, and found it lacking
- broke a window / checked on Seamus
- ran Good Cop, Bad Cop, Old Lady Cop
- threw a dagger dramatically
- tried to avoid doing a war crime
- rolled initiative
Next week: Honey Heist??
This week in Honey Heist we:
- put together a crew for one last job (Grylls, Harry Bearenstein, and Baddington)
- mauled some weirdly bear-sized VIPs and stole their VIP passes (and clothes / wallets)
- cased the dance competition (grand prize: a briefcase full of rare Manuka honey)
- bought out a stall of honey as a distraction to steal the stallholder's van
- won a Vespa in a test-your-strength competition
- set fire to a bamboo maze with honey tequila
- executed the heist plan (climb a crane, smash the glass box containing the briefcase, jump a vespa off a ramp over the lake to catch it just in time)
- rolled improbable / perfect failures (caught the briefcase, missed the bear, and got double-crossed without noticing)
- realised the briefcase was a decoy
- navigated a maze (bear-style, by ignoring the burning hedges and smashing straight to the middle)
- drove a vespa and a bear into our nemesis
- escaped in a fire engine with allll the honey
Next week in D&D: flashbacks??
This week in D&D we:
- readjusted to the new/old non-bear normal
- (continued to) split the party
- demanded to see the manager (and then set him on fire)
- fought pirates; seagulls (Team Fight Team)
- ate, drank, and appreciated Bardak (Team Pub Team)
- debated the correct nomenclature for a Murderhobo who owns an increasing amount of real estate
- attempted to charter a boat that was fleeing from us
- took a running leap
- scared off a shipful of pirates (AND/OR: negotiated the return of a barrel of rum and then jumped in the sea with it)
- liberated Real Seamus
- had a short holiday
- flashed back to a smoky tavern (from the same smoky tavern)
- chartered a ship that *wasn't* fleeing from us
- set sail for (more) adventure!
Next week o̶n̷ ̵C̶a̸l̸̝̚ĺ̴͕ ̴̲͂o̸̼͝f̸̰̒ ̷͙̉C̶̳͘t̸̛̬͈h̷̼́̀u̷̢͌̚l̶̮͂̏h̸͉͙͊̚ũ̸̯̥:̷̺͝ ̸̹̺̚i̸̭̅̈ṅ̶̢̯̄d̶̡̺̤̉e̸̪͚̙̅s̵̼͍͊c̵̫͌̾͠r̸̢̅̐i̷̧͓̹͑̒͠͝b̶̢͖̣̤̈͝á̶͉̳b̷̯͍͔̅ľ̶̬̭̺è̷̢͉͇̹̖̽̋͐͝ ̴̧̾̌͐t̸̡̯̹̽h̴̥͙̍̿̔͝ì̷͎̝̘̻̠̍n̴̢͕̼̣̔͝g̵̘̈́̿͗s̵̢̭̭̪͐̏̔̎̚
@andi @tamewhale hey, hi, I wasn’t there but I also enjoy reading these
It’s like sitting a little too close to someone else’s campfire while they’re telling a fun story
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Mike Hayward
Gavin Logan
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