one of these days im going to talk about how the idea of discrete, neatly identified, clearly seperate neurodivergencies as defined by diagnostic manuals does a lot of harm to people trying to figure out their brains.
"am I REALLY autistic or am I only VERY MUCH LIKE autistics?" should be a question as unnecessary as "am I REALLY gay or am I only having all the same experiences as gay people"
in queer identities, we have fought for the space to embrace chaos. unclear identities. changing your mind. changing as a person. mixing and matching words until something sounds right.
that is where we have to get with neurodivergencies.
"but you can't become ADHD later in life!"
"you can't be 'a little bit' borderline!"
and, pray tell, why the hell not? every argument for this is a tautology. because that's how we have defined it. not long ago it was impossible to be both ADHD & autistic
and, what's more, we need to stop letting them get away with tying our allowances for supports and accommodations to their catalogue of stigma (also known as the DSM).
this is bullshit, has always been bullshit, and I am tired of putting up with the bullshit
I think, as a summary, what I'm getting at is:
1. it's more important to find your PEOPLE than to find the WORDS.
2. it's more important to get the help you WANT and NEED than to have someone tell you "what's wrong with you".
3. diagnostic manuals do not reflect human experience.
The last line gets me every time.
Please, don't confront me with my failures
I have not forgotten them
@skye Hell. Yes.
All of this.
Brains are not simple. Bodies are not simple. Reality is not simple. I really wish the world would learn to quit trying to make everything simple.
Clean, organized taxonomies of existence are violence, full stop.
@skye
This is an awesome thread, thank you. I’m 62 years old, and I’ve been “different” my whole life. I can relate to a lot of the neurdivergent creators, but I honestly don’t even know where to start. I went to (employer provided) therapist, but I’m awkward and I don’t have the words to express what I need to share.
I don’t mean to vent all of this here, this thread just really spoke to me.
@skye I agree. Many of the supports are going to be the same no matter the cause. But I do think someone who avoids people and loud noises due to PTSD might have some needs that are different than a person who avoids those same things because of autism.
The key thing here would be getting everyone support and accommodations no matter the reason. Unfortunately, we're a long way from that. So I am a fan of doing whatever is necessary to get support, despite what the experts want to label people.
@skye i've been thinking about how the ace and aro communities that I'm in seem to take a more open approach to this than like a lot of queer groups. And maybe it's related to being excluded from so many things?
But basically like, being totally chill with the idea that people can be ace for a period of time or as a result of trauma and it doesn't invalidate other ace folks. Or like do you think you've experienced romantic attraction but you relate to the aromantic label? Go for it!
I know some people are still hesitant to fully claim ace or aro and may say that they are ace or aro spectrum instead but yeah for me if someone is experiencing some of the same things I am, fighting against the same harmful norms, relates to those experiences, I'm not gonna police who can identify as asexual or aromantic.
And maybe that's not a wider ace community thing? I don't know but it's something I've noticed in my conversations
@skye and yeah I totally agree about neurodivergences and the DSM and stuff, I just didnt comment about that because you already said it so well lol
I'd love it if we could have new community created language to talk about our unique experiences that wasnt so based on rigid ideas like the DSM
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