| pronouns | she/her |
| languages | עברית ,English, Español, 日本語 |
| diagnoses | EDS, LC, POTS, DID, CPTSD, GD |
confession:
whenever someone new tells me they love me it feels like success, because I can count one more person who will care when I die.
it's not that I want people I care for to suffer, but I'm so deeply scared of people not knowing me/caring when I'm gone, that it offers a comfort to me.
it's always one of the first things I think, like ticking off a little box on an ever-expanding rsvp list. even if they grow to hate me later, I figure they'll still turn up to get some closure. 🫢
Although I may stumble over my words, and have long pauses while I churn through possible options when I lose words, I feel like the speed and intentionality with which I have to speak now forces me to be a more deliberate communicator.
Though scanning written communication has gotten harder, so I do leave behind an annoying abundance of unnoticed and unfixed tropics
The nice thing about having brain damage is that I have lost all my egotism, and have gotten good at being humble when I speak with others. Like when I pestered my Speech Language Pathologist this morning for a telehealth link, thinking she had forgotten to send it... only to realize the appointment was still 24 hours away.
She was very gracious 😩
@admin this wasn't a rhetorical question & it's something none of y'all have explained which shows not one of y'all is actually qualified to be handling something as sensitive as radical server instance
Your silence, incompetence, lack of accountability is driving people away from the instance while y'all act like this is normal & people praise you for being unpaid admins endangering us all with wildly irresponsible data practices & absolute lack of a duty-to-inform
People send out alertas within 24 hrs if they even get an FBI door knock
one of y'all got raided & we weren't told for 2 months and y'all just go "sorry, things have been hectic lol uwu"
"Illness- you point out- is the only possible form of life in capitalism. In fact, the psychiatrist, who is wage dependent, is a sick person like each of us. The ruling classes merely give him the power to "cure" or to hospitalize.
Cure- this is self-evident- can't be understood in our system to mean the elimination of illness: it serves exclusively as the maintenance of the ability to go to work where one stays sick."
-Sozialistisches Patientenkollektiv (SPK) as quoted in Health Communism
My nesting partner made food before I woke up, and I had to reheat it, since I had a late night. He said it hadn't been seasoned yet, so I'd need to doctor it.
I turned the heat up and asked it if it was sure it wasn't just imagining its pain, and if it was actually just substance seeking.
He says he wants a divorce. 😅
Mordantivore
Edward Faulkner