Asensio 
Jake_VigYOU: I murdered someone.
YOUR DOG: I'm totally cool with that. I love you.
******************
YOU: I murdered someone.
YOUR CAT: Me too.
Mon Mothra@Jake_Vig Cat: Ok are you eating all of him or can I have a bit to throw up again on your bed
lovablenerd@Jake_Vig also my cat: and I am planning your murder (after I shit on the floor by the litter box)
@lovablenerd trust the process
Sraik Doubter@Jake_Vig or Your Cat: your first?
ᴍᴇᴍᴘʜɪᴤᴍᴀʀʏ@Jake_Vig YES! great to see you here!
Jean-Philippe 
Dog: ahh he's feeding me, he's offering me shelter, he's petting me! HE MUST BE GOD!
Cat: ahh he's feeding me, he's offering me shelter, he's petting me! I MUST BE GOD!
pwtulley
Oz - Pro-Choice. 💪
Blue in the South
Jernej Simončič �
Lisa Quilty HillOnly one of these creatures might lick you to death and it's not the cat.
Ty Ross
Lee Dunn
Sherry
JeffJWarwick
Chris Johnson ✅️@Jake_Vig That's why I never tell my secrets to my pot bellied pig he is such a squealer.
JVS @lavici
Prof West Wing Chicken ShackYour dog's answering machine: Hi, yes,how can I help you. Can I get a tummy rub ?
Your cat's answering machine: leave a message. I might consider calling you back
@garystark @Jake_Vig I had a cat that'd meow in front of my room until I got up, followed her to the rug in the living room, where she demanded belly rubs, which had to last until she closed like a trap. If I stopped too soon, she'd be meowing in front of my room as soon as I sat down again.
Ass dragon@Jake_Vig yeah cats be cool like that. A dog may be “man’s best friend” but cats won’t tell the cops where your drugs are
Just J@Jake_Vig Cat: Only some*one*? Pfft, amateur.
Anthony Baker@Jake_Vig Related and one I love:
A friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a body.
Zhalia@Jake_Vig Yep, sounds about right lol 😆 😂
Lea ❤️I would believe that 100%. I had a dream a few months ago where my cat was the mastermind behind my (attempted) assassination. 🤔 What is he up to?
Stella Arnaldo@Jake_Vig 😂 definitely need cat jokes and cat videos here on @Mastodon
Robbie Łizhini@Jake_Vig Your cat "Awwe my little human is growing up! Now Here's a few things I'd recommend for your next murder..."
RappttureHave you seen The Voices, with Ryan Reynolds, this could be from the script 😀 .
Serendip@Jake_Vig True empathy.
GregPerez@Jake_Vig
so funny
so funny
Franck Mée@Jake_Vig
YOU: I murdered someone.
YOUR PYRENEAN SHEEPDOG: I'm aware. Nothing happens in this mountain without my knowing, remember? But you're safe, I herded the rest of that tourist's family into a ravine.
YOU: I murdered someone.
YOUR PYRENEAN SHEEPDOG: I'm aware. Nothing happens in this mountain without my knowing, remember? But you're safe, I herded the rest of that tourist's family into a ravine.
a.Albi@Jake_Vig Max Friendship Level: your cat helped you murder someone.