garfieldill post a hot take for every boost this toot gets
game of thrones was always bad
PIV sex is actually awful
musicals are for rich white people, saying you like them is telling on yourself
christopher nolan sucks. but jonathan is a genius
they should make it illegal to speak english
it would actually be good for ebooks to destroy the book industry because people who read deserve to get a headache for it
sucker punch is the best zack snyder movie
people dunk on bill clinton because they're haters and jealous
every youtuber is racist
friendships on the internet are actually MORE fake and parasocial AFTER you meet the people in person and become friends who hang out irl
people who boosted the post that started this thread are partaking in schadenfreude by wanting to see me get canceled, which is cringe culture, and therefore fascist (this counts as a hot take)
music: trash. who needs it
hippopotamuses are the capitalists of the animal kingdom
boris johnson is actually doing a postmodernism, which is subversive and leftist
young people like electronic music because they're afraid of skills
the antifa leadership is actually super problematic so lets just say if i see that your associated with them i am giving you the BIGGEST side-eye
having a big dick actually really sucks. nobody should do it
it is morally evil to do well at school
guitar is a good and positive instrument. piano? deeply malevolent
foreplay is actually kinda oppressive
the pope: secretly an ally. the pope is working on a secret plan to dismantle the deep state of the vatican (the deep vat)
mariachi band music is better than hip hop
people need to stop making "mastodon is crumbling" jokes because they make me hungry for crumble
snails are good
offal tastes good
that maggot cheese looks delicious, id eat it
avril lavigne is better than ariana grande
AlonealastalovedalongtheThe effect of these littered in my timeline among other more natural and harmonious toots is of getting hit in the face with a slimy fish out of the blue.
You are a good for nothing tootmonger
@Alonealastalovedalongthe glad you like my post, always happy to hear from my fans
I hope one day you get stuck in a freak storm that rains fish and you look down and realize this is what you have been doing to the rest of us for all this time
a box on radical.town@garfiald heat wave toot
mostly elsewhere@garfiald guitar is for boomers
confused anime guy@garfiald There’s a reason no one ever made a movie about “The Guitar Teacher”
TEETHTEETHTEETH@garfiald only filthy reformists do well in school
who is morgan@garfiald its so hard, having a cartoonishly enormous hog is an ever present struggle 😔
Cuttlefish 🏄♀️@ItsMorgan @garfiald try having 30-50 of them!
Demon-King of Assmodia@garfiald lol good one garf
Χίμαιρα 
corvids@garfiald i can't believe you know the ceo of antifa
Author Andrew Massie 🏴@garfiald I know this is a shitpost, but I have actually met these people irl.
Em@garfiald uhh yeah actually having skills is bougie
🦇Anthra🦇@garfiald young people like me
paramilitary organizer@garfiald to destroy the empire, we must destroy England
shoot down the penguin 🏴🚩@garfiald BTW i can imagine Zizek spewing something along this lines unironically. I just realised.
@policeinchains lmao that would definitely not be surprising
troy, the animal boy@garfiald this one legit became dogma for a bunch of cryptofascists (but for trump and republicans) lmao
<eleanor>@garfiald ive been saying this for years and always got laughed at. that song also slaps so hard.
Milly: Cursed@garfiald I liked that movie
@garfiald That’s right. we’ll see if he can top it with the snyder cut...
a lizard