"I'm going to call my mom real quick."

I just call her Sandy.

#SmartAleck

"It's a metaphor."

Ok. But, what's a phor? 🤪

#SmartAleck

#RandomThoughts
Jockey: "I won by a nose."

Me: "Was it yours?"

#SmartAleck

My wife earlier today: "You left your phone on the stove."

Me: "I know. It's not done yet."
🤪😆

#SmartAleck
#TrueStory

"Only a Sith deals in absolutes."

But, isn't that an absolute too? OMG! Are you a Sith?

#SmartAleck

When I asked my wife what she wanted for dinner, she said she's "having a chicken".

I said "That's called laying an egg."

#SmartAleck