Valerie RoneyNew paradigm:
Not: what did I accomplish today?
Instead: how much juicy deep brain rest did I get today?
I've probably said it before, but rest mode is a whole different world than endure misery mode.
On the outside they both look like doing nothing.
But one is screaming inside just trying to get to not-awful, everything is a mental battle, overthinking and distressed.
The other is quiet, alert, peaceful, giving space for unconscious processes to do their thing, gently steering wherever you need to go.
I am finally, gratefully, deliciously, back in rest mode.
I suspect very few people appreciate how much patience and discipline it takes to rest.
To do nothing.
To allow yourself to be bored.
To let socializing wait.
To ignore your to-do list.
To tell yourself over and over again:
'I am not doing nothing I am resting. Resting IS a verb, and it is the thing I most need to do right now."
#spoonieLife #burnout #restIsAVerb #selfCare
So, I have been having these massive afternoon nap attacks. Like big 2-3hr sleeps. And I have been trying to figure out what's wrong with how I am dosing cannabis, or fallout from other meds, or...?
And ya know what? It's just that space between wrecked and functioning. It's called "rest" and "healing." 🤦♀️
I am not in pain, my brain is not urk! with inflammation, so the poor thing shuts down to remap and heal, after being through some shit.
So, I sat and stared out the window for 3hrs, and then had a nap.
I feel surprisingly accomplished about this.
Mostly because this last week I have been enduring, not resting. Today is a very different (and passively productive) kinda vibe.
When I get the pain and malaise under control I can actually REST, and it is lovely.
Ha! I am not doing nothing, I am letting things settle so I can see "the depth of my own being."
