50 Shadow Work Prompts for Relationships to Heal Triggers, Jealousy & Resentment
READ HERE:
https://innermasteryhub.com/shadow-work-prompts-for-relationships-2/
#nervoussystemregulation #emotionalintelligence #emotionalhealing #emotionalboundaries #braintricks #psychologyfacts
Day 28: Breathing, or How I Learned to Soften From the Inside Out
For the longest time, I underestimated breathing.
I know how ridiculous that sounds. Breathing is automatic. It’s the most basic thing we do to stay alive. And yet, it’s also the practice that has softened me the most. The one that brings me back into my body when my mind wants to sprint ahead. The one that reminds my nervous system that I am not in danger, even when my thoughts insist otherwise.
Breathing is my softest self-care practice.
And it’s something I’m still learning.
I didn’t grow up in a body that felt calm. I grew up in a body that stayed alert, ready, braced. My default mode was tension. Shoulders tight. Jaw clenched. Breath shallow. I didn’t realize how much I was holding until I started paying attention to my breath and noticed how little of it I was actually taking in.
When life gets busy, when stress stacks up, when my schedule is packed with work, writing, family, and responsibility, breathing is the first thing to go. I start moving faster. Thinking louder. Reacting quicker. And my body follows suit, tightening instead of resting.
That’s where this practice comes in.
Breathing as a Reset
My relationship with intentional breathing started slowly. I didn’t jump into hour-long meditation sessions or complicated techniques. I started with something simple: taking a few deep breaths in the morning before I officially began my day.
Just a pause.
Just air moving in and out of my lungs.
Even that felt revolutionary.
There was a stretch of time when I was doing really well with it. I would breathe in the morning, grounding myself before the day took hold of me. I even got to a point where I’d pause during my lunch break to do it again. Five minutes. Sometimes less. Enough to reset.
And it worked.
I could feel my body respond. My chest would loosen. My thoughts would slow down. The tight buzzing feeling in my nervous system would soften just enough for me to breathe easier emotionally, not just physically.
It reminded me that I don’t always need to push through. Sometimes I need to pause and breathe before I react.
The Nervous System Piece
What I didn’t fully understand before was how much breathing impacts the nervous system. I used to take breathing techniques for granted, lumping them into the category of things people say help but don’t really change anything.
I was wrong.
Intentional breathing tells your body you are safe. It signals that you don’t need to be in fight-or-flight mode. And for someone who has lived a good portion of their life in survival mode, that signal matters.
Breathing doesn’t erase stress. It doesn’t magically fix circumstances. But it creates space. And space is where regulation happens.
That’s why this practice feels so soft to me. It doesn’t demand productivity. It doesn’t ask me to achieve anything. It simply asks me to exist in my body for a few moments without judgment.
Box Breathing Changed Everything
If there’s one technique that truly shifted my relationship with breathing, it’s box breathing.
I remember the first time I tried it consistently and thought, Oh. This is different.
Box breathing is structured, which helps my brain. Inhale for four counts. Hold for four. Exhale for four. Hold for four. Repeat. The rhythm creates containment. It gives my thoughts something to anchor to. It keeps me from drifting into worry while I’m trying to calm myself down.
There’s something incredibly grounding about the predictability of it. Each side of the box holds you in place. Each breath becomes intentional instead of reactive.
When I practice box breathing, I can feel my body settle. My shoulders drop. My heartbeat steadies. My mind stops racing long enough for me to feel present.
It’s subtle, but it’s powerful.
Why Box Breathing Works (The Science Behind the Softness)
Box breathing isn’t just a calming trick. It has real, measurable effects on both physical and mental wellbeing.
From a physiological standpoint, box breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, the part of your body responsible for rest, digestion, and recovery. When you slow your breath and add intentional holds, you stimulate the vagus nerve, which helps lower heart rate, reduce blood pressure, and decrease cortisol levels. In simple terms, your body gets the message that it is safe.
Research has shown that controlled breathing patterns like box breathing can:
Mentally, the structure of box breathing matters just as much as the breath itself. Counting the inhale, hold, exhale, and hold gives the mind something concrete to focus on. This interrupts rumination and anxious thought loops, which is why box breathing is often taught to people in high-stress professions, including first responders and military personnel.
What I find most powerful about box breathing is that it works with the body, not against it. You’re not forcing calm. You’re creating the conditions for calm to emerge naturally. The body slows first. The mind follows.
That’s why this practice feels so soft to me. It’s not about controlling my emotions. It’s about supporting my nervous system so my emotions don’t have to scream to be heard.
A Practice, Not a Perfection
I want to be clear about something: I’m not perfect at this. I fall off. I forget. I go days without practicing and then wonder why I feel so dysregulated. Life gets busy, and old habits sneak back in.
But breathing is the one self-care practice I always return to.
Because it’s accessible.
Because it doesn’t require tools or space or money.
Because it meets me exactly where I am.
Breathing reminds me that softness doesn’t have to be elaborate. Sometimes softness is a pause. Sometimes it’s a few intentional inhales. Sometimes it’s choosing to regulate instead of react.
This practice has taught me that peace doesn’t always arrive as a feeling. Sometimes it arrives as a physiological shift. A calmer heartbeat. A slower breath. A nervous system that finally believes it can rest.
And for me, that is the softest kind of care.
#boxBreathing #breathingPractices #emotionalRegulation #mindfulnessTools #nervousSystemRegulation #selfCareRituals #softBrujaChallenge
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The Somatic Exercise Solution for Nervous System Regulation, by Lauren Anderson
Free until December 6th!
🧘♀️⚕️ Discover the gentle path back to your body, your breath, and your inner calm.
Gentle Somatic Yoga for Nervous System Regulation, by Lauren Anderson
Free until November 23rd!
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger" is a comforting lie. Trauma doesn’t create strength—it creates survival mechanisms. It teaches you how to live with ghosts, how to function while carrying wounds, and how to endure what should never have been endured. But real strength isn’t about how much you can carry—it’s about learning how to finally put it down. #traumahealing #nervoussystemregulation #hypervigilance
https://envisiontherapydfw.com/what-if-resilience-isnt-strength-but-adaptation/
You don’t have trust issues—you have proof. When trust has been broken repeatedly, your nervous system learns to stay guarded. This isn’t paranoia—it’s protection. In this post, we explore why trust issues aren’t a flaw but a survival skill, and how you can rebuild trust in safe environments with the right people. #trustissues #traumahealing #nervoussystemregulation #trauma
https://envisiontherapydfw.com/you-didnt-have-trust-issues-you-had-proof/
OH, HOW SHE SUFFERED MY FEARS
https://www.apprenticeshiptolove.com/p/heard-fear-remembered-suffered
#apprenticeshiptolove #menswork #Men #menshealth #mensmentalhealth #pathofthesacredmasculine #authenticrelationships #sex #patience #desire #nervoussystem #nervoussystemregulation #nervoussystemtraining
Is what I teach a kind of “primal therapy” for men? Part 1
https://youtube.com/shorts/x2Iw-4_YeGw?feature=share
#menswork #Men #menshealth #mensmentalhealth #pathofthesacredmasculine #authenticrelationships #sex #patience #desire #nervoussystem #nervoussystemregulation #nervoussystemtraining
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James H. Mayfield
Envision Therapy DFW
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