RhyothemisI'm calling it kasina meditation, but what I'm doing doesn't conform exactly to instructions for kasina meditation.
It started out as an attempt at green kasina using a blade of grass as meditation object, based on the instructions in Beth Upton's video:
https://youtu.be/jK1S23r0WSA?si=0SE7MFI97GhTEL6H
I stared at a blade of grass and concentrated on the green color and attempted to expand the green with my mind's eye. Not too long after doing the practice I got an interesting visual effect. The grass clump at the center of my focus sort of multiplied, similar to using the clone tool in Photoshop - over the entire yard. It had the effect of filling in my lawn - which is a patchy, weedy mess - with nice bright green grass. The 'tiles' would shift from being large in size / fewer in number to small in size / more numerous. I decided to try to keep it as a the latter - a tighter pattern.
I thought this was a good way to gauge my level of concentration, a kind of neural feedback training.
I've been doing this off and on for a few weeks for 10 - 20 min sessions. Usually I do it outside, but since it has gotten hot I often do it indoors looking out through a window.
I also sometimes had the effect of a yellow green blob appearing as an overlay in the center of my field of view. I tried to expand and contract the blob. I was able to expand it a bit, but not contract.
Otherwise, while I'm doing this I try to imagine a wall of green in a shade on the blade of grass that I find most appealing.
Recently I have has the effect of the green grass turning more yellow, then fading to dull white, followed by bright glowing white. This will happen in cycles. I'm not sure how long the cycles last. The trick to maintaining the bright white is to try to maintain the wall of green in my mind's eye - which seems a bit paradoxical.
I feel pretty good when this happens - calm and happy.
It is easy to start this process, it only takes a minute or two into a session. However, after about 10 min (I'm not really sure since I don't look at my timer), it stops happening. I'm still able to do the 'clone tool' thing, but no more bright white light.
When not meditating, I seem to be happier and more equanimous. I've had some bad brain farts lately, though (mostly just poor performance on word games).
Any thoughts on what might be happening to my brain during this process?
Is there some neurotransmitter that taps out at the 10 minute mark?
Should I just do 10 minute sessions?
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Bonhomme