Ten years ago I started a blog I was too scared to put my name on. Now Diary of a Flopping Fish is an LLC — still one woman, no ads, no AI articles, no data collection.
What started as creative writing became a space for survivors of coercive control to have a voice.
The fish is still flopping. Just forward now.
Full update at diaryofafloppingfish.com
As If Designed!
Installing What Blooms in Silence explored what happens inside one person when the protocol runs unchecked. This series examines the architecture that installs the protocol in the first place. The sorting begins before the first word. Blue onesie. Truck, not doll. A room painted and furnished along a template the child never saw. The mobile above the crib: rockets, not butterflies. The first blanket: cars, not flowers. None of this determines who the child becomes. It determines the […]
Welsh weather presenter Ruth Dodsworth backs new domestic abuse booklets — “I wish they had existed when I was being abused”
Welsh weather presenter and domestic abuse survivor Ruth Dodsworth has thrown her support behind a new South Wales resource designed to help women experiencing domestic violence understand their options and find a way out — saying she wishes it had existed when she was going through her own ordeal.
Dodsworth, whose ex-husband was jailed after a near decade-long campaign of harassment and controlling behaviour, spoke at the launch of “From Fear to Freedom” — a bilingual resource produced in both Welsh and English by Soroptimist International Wales South to help women navigate the justice system, access support and take steps towards safety.
“The booklets are wonderful,” she said. “I wish they had been available when I was experiencing domestic abuse. I know these will help so many women, many of whom contact me every day. Breaking the silence is often the hardest step, but it’s the one that leads towards a future defined by your own choice.”
The resource was born directly out of research conducted across courts in South Wales, which found that women leaving court following domestic abuse cases had no idea where to turn next. That research was cited in Parliament by MP Jess Phillips during the launch of the Government’s Violence Against Women and Girls Strategy, and directly led to Independent Domestic Violence Advisors being placed in every court in the region.
But the gap between leaving court and knowing what comes next remained. The “From Fear to Freedom” booklets — two complementary volumes covering support options, safety steps and how to navigate the system — were developed in direct response to that need, drawing on input from survivors, domestic abuse services, Citizens Advice, NHS safeguarding leads, Crown Prosecution Service representatives, Police and Crime Commissioner advisors from both Dyfed-Powys and South Wales Police, and the Women’s Institute.
The initiative has been praised at the very highest levels. Queen Camilla, who has a longstanding commitment to raising awareness of domestic abuse, praised the work of Soroptimist International Wales South, saying she was deeply impressed by the club’s efforts to support survivors.
A former barrister who reviewed the booklets before publication said they were “wonderful — so much useful, helpful and supportive information, presented in such a simple and user-friendly format. These booklets have the power to be lifesavers.”
Helen Scourfield, President of Soroptimist International Wales South, said the research that led to the booklets had made clear how many women were being left without basic information at their most vulnerable moments. “We identified a clear gap — many women did not know what support was available or what processes they might face,” she said. “We developed the content in collaboration with local groups and ensured survivor insight informed the development throughout, to make sure the booklets are accessible and fit for purpose.”
To date, 1,500 booklets have been distributed across South Wales communities, funded by a £3,000 grant from the SIGBI UK Programme Action Committee alongside donations from members, clubs and three local women’s choirs, with a further £1,800 raised at the launch event itself. Further orders are anticipated from domestic abuse services across the region, and the booklets are also available digitally through Welsh Women’s Aid.
The work builds on a wider picture of improving support for domestic abuse victims across South Wales, with Dyfed-Powys and South Wales Police among forces that have bucked national trends on coercive control prosecutions in recent years.
Soroptimist International Great Britain and Ireland, founded in 1934, holds consultancy status at the United Nations and operates 248 clubs across the UK, Ireland, Malta, Asia and the Caribbean. Gillie O’Rourke, the organisation’s president, said the South Wales initiative was “typical of the excellent and innovative work Soroptimists undertake in support of women everywhere.”
Women experiencing domestic abuse can access the “From Fear to Freedom” booklets through Welsh Women’s Aid at welshwomensaid.org.uk. Anyone in immediate danger should call 999. The Live Fear Free helpline for Wales is available 24 hours a day on 0808 80 10 800.
Related stories from Swansea Bay News
TV presenter’s ex-husband jailed after near decade-long campaign of harassment and controlling behaviour
Ruth Dodsworth’s own story — and how the courts dealt with her abuser.
Dyfed-Powys and South Wales Police buck national decline in coercive control charges
How South Wales forces have led the way on prosecuting coercive and controlling behaviour.
This article reports a study showing that the public underestimates coercive control when the victim is male, with greater recognition of abuse when the victim is female, across both obvious and subtle forms of control. It also notes broader implications for LGBTQ+ victims and highlights the need for inclusive understanding and resources.
The findings are of interest to psychology readers because they reveal how gender and sexual orientation shape perceptions of abuse, underscoring the role of social stereotypes in recognizing and responding to coercive dynamics in relationships.
Article Title: People view coercive control in relationships as less harmful when the victim is a man
Link to PsyPost Article: https://www.psypost dot org/people-view-coercive-control-in-relationships-as-less-harmful-when-the-victim-is-a-man/
Copy and paste broken link above into your browser and replace "dot" with "." for link to work. We have to do it this way to avoid displaying copyrighted images.
#coercivecontrol #relationshipabuse #genderstudies #domesticabuseawareness #psychologyresearch
https://celestiaquixs.com/why-doeznt-iz-gets-to-haz-cheezeburger/
#CoerciveControl #MedicalGaslighting #OxygenIsntAnAddiction #NeurologicalRealism #SensoryPersistence #SystemicInvalidation #DigitalPanopticon #ChronicIllnessAdvocacy
Now we (as a society) have accepted the reality of coercive control in intimate (family) relations should we recognise that in reality such control is more widespread & needs to be (legally) confronted?
When the law was first proposed a wider scope was intended but narrowed by Theresa May's Govt. to get it passed, so perhaps now we have seen its identified a really clear problem, there should be a campaign to widen its scope?
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/mar/31/uk-law-gap-police-investigate-coercive-control
England and Wales pioneered the criminalisation of coercive control, but it doesn’t apply outside of intimate or family relationships. Why stop there, asks deputy head of Guardian Opinion Barbara Speed
The subject of this doco sounds like the stereotype of an autistic man. Socially clueless, hyper sensitive to rejection, having zero empathy, & needing to control people & environments around him in order to be safe.
As an autistic person I can resonate (ie feel empathy) with most of this - except the no empathy bit. I know about being socially clueless. And how hyper sensitivity, to sensory input & to rejection, can make us feel that controlling our environments & resisting change is the only way to feel safe.
My neurodivergent peers understand this.
Among the autistic folx I know, most have heaps of empathy, & resonate intensely with the feelings of others. We meet - online or in person, as friends or as strangers - to communicate intensely with each other, listening deeply & offering recognition & care.
Most - not all - of my friends were raised as women.
Is there something here about how boys are raised? Boys are encouraged to feel they are entitled to shape the world & people around them to accommodate their needs, in ways women - except perhaps the most wealthy & privileged - are not. We see dominating behaviours valorised as ‘alpha’ & those who perform them accorded far more respect than they deserve.
Imagine if we all learned, as children, that we are not separate from each other - or from other living beings - & that one person’s suffering affects us all. Imagine if practices of care & compassion were valued more highly than those of domination. Imagine if our role models behaved in ways that respect all life.
I don’t believe autistic people have no empathy. I think we are misfits who feel unsafe. We struggle to make sense of the world around us, do our best to figure out what the rules are, then try to follow them in order to escape being targeted as ‘other’.
For too many boys and men, the rules they infer are toxic.
People are not our enemy.
#ActuallyAutistic #neurodiversity #RSD #CoerciveControl #Incel #misogyny
DiaryofaFloppingFish
Christian Albert
Editor
Psychotherapy Commission ACPE
Celestia Quixs
Emeritus Prof Christopher May
quackademic