#PeoplePleasing when you're #neurodivergent...

Sometimes a response to complex, prolonged trauma. Sometimes part of #masking in an attempt to reduce #RSD or #autistic #anxiety "in the moment". It's essentially a panic reaction (or so it seems to me), and is probably the result of years of harsh judgement from NTs.

I did it my whole life but didn't realise until I read Pete Walker's book on #CPTSD (I have other issues with that book but it helped me at the time).

It's insidious and damaging. You often don't realise you're doing it. You risk losing your own identity and becoming just a reflection of others. And, of course, attempting to please everyone is simply impossible and you end up making even fewer people happy than before - and you'll almost certainly be unhappy yourself.

It's good to sense the currents (if *everyone* seems to have the same view of your actions, you should perhaps at least try to work out why), but reacting to every rock dropped in the water is just playing whack-a-mole with yourself - or letting others play whack-a-mole with you.

Long post... but I see people trying to change tack as a result of one instance of negative feedback, making themselves miserable in the process, and all my years of pain make it a massive trigger for me so I can't keep quiet.

In summary:

"To thine own self be true"

- Someone, I forget who. Shakespeare? Obi-wan Kenobi? I'm sure someone will know.

The rest of the week is bound to be an emotional rollercoaster and I'm not prepared.

To compensate for my #anxiety I absolutely overprepared the things that ARE in my control and that'll definitly help.
Not.

#adhd #rsd #audhd #adhdlife

Baisse de moral depuis hier. Je suis dans un mood assez défaitiste/morose. Ça a été un peu caché sous me tapis par le fait de faire des choses mais ça ressort ce matin. 😩

Par curiosité — et parce-que je cherchais s'il existait un mot autour de ça — je lis sur l'humeur dans le TDAH et découvre le terme de "dysrégulation émotionnelle"

Beaucoup d’adultes TDAH ressentent une douleur émotionnelle intense face à la critique ou au rejet perçu. Ce phénomène porte un nom : la Dysphorie Sensible au Rejet (RSD). Il amplifie la dysrégulation émotionnelle et peut déclencher des réactions disproportionnées en quelques secondes.

Ah bah voilà qui explique mon humeur matinale !

#neuroA #TDAHprobablement #RSD

https://youtu.be/JBDR1uzBgX0

Listened to this just now. #SamanthanHiew talking about #AuDHD as experienced by women. It found me at a good time. It also got me to crycrycry—this was listening to someone speak my own inner sentiments and experiences aloud at a time when I feel like I can't get anyone in my life to fucking HEAR me. I needed that cry; the internal pressure has been dangerously high today.

#RSD

#nowspinning #nowplaying

Eric Burdon and War - Love is All Around
Part of: Eric Burdon and War - The Complete Vinyl Collection
Record Store Day Exclusive Box Set - Limited Edition of 5500.
Made in Germany 2022

Rhino Records- RCV1 659231

#vinyl #rsd #ericburdonandwar