HARS members were treated to a talk from our Chair Josh M0WYP/N9JDM on Cyber Security for our January meeting.
Bringing out our best attendance for a January meeting, at for long enough for me to need to consult the archive for confirmation.
Lots of tea was drunk and cake eaten.
And 2 freshly minted HAMS in attendance

#herefordshire #hereford #socialclubs #amateurradio #hamradio #hamr

Who Am I, Again?

I had a conversation the other day that made me doubt my entire self-perception for the entirety of my life.

The social club that I belong to is having a holiday gathering in December and I was asked if I was going to the event. I said that, no, I was not. The person asked if I was going to be away, on the assumption that the only reason for not attending would be because I was going out of town. I said no, I was just not good at going to events with large crowds as I have social anxiety. She recoiled a little and said, aghast, “But you joined a social club!”

She isn’t wrong. It seems completely contradictory, but in my defense I didn’t always suffer from social anxiety. For most of my life I have navigated all sorts of events with equanimity. A couple of years or so ago, though, a change was made in my medications when an antidepressant I have been taking in various forms since the 1980s was removed from my daily regimen.

I was glad to stop taking it as I didn’t think I needed it any more. In fact, I had previously asked to have the dosage reduced and ultimately to be taken off it. One doctor asked “Do you feel normal when you are on it?” and when I said “Yes,” she renewed the prescription. That wasn’t exactly what I had hoped for.

When a nurse practitioner I met through the online healthcare app recommended that I gradually reduce  the medication and then cease it altogether, I happily agreed. I went through a few months of reluctance in going to any social events, but over time those feelings have subsided. I still second-guess myself in going out of the house and I still talk myself out of events quite often, but overall things are slowly getting back on track.

I continue to enjoy individual friendships and small-group gatherings, but large groups where I know few people and remember even fewer names fill me with dread.

Now I realize that I am not very good at making friends. I have moved often and usually made friends with my neighbours and co-workers, but now that I am retired, making friends is a lot more difficult. The social club I belong to has a lot of activities, but the registrations for events fill up very quickly with established members. I am engaged as a newsletter editor, but am valued primarily as a role-filler. I always thought I had more to offer as a companion, but now I think I might have been wrong about that.

There have been periods in my life when I have had to sacrifice a social life in order to attend to the needs of my family, and there have been other periods when being social meant being in a couple and joining other couples. Now, as a single retiree, interacting with other people has taken on a whole different and unfamiliar dimension.

I still think of myself as being open to relationships with people of a variety of origins and backgrounds. Learning about other people’s life experiences is fascinating and a great way for form friendship bonds. Unfortunately, I am finding those opportunities to be rare. Instead, I am learning to love my life of secure solitude with hobbies, activities, and neighbourhood walks.

This evening it occurred to me that I could sit at one of the local waterfront benches and offer to provide free conversations. I bet I’m not alone in just wanting someone to shoot the breeze with and solve the world’s problems. Hmm. There may be a new role and a cardboard sign in my future.

#crowds #friendships #largeGroups #life #mentalHealth #relationships #retirement #seniors #singledom #socialAnxiety #socialClubs #society #solitude

It appears that my lot in life is to upset gatekeepers, be they fascist or avowedly antifascist.

Three Fediverse instances now have decided that they don’t want me to be a part of them, or so it would appear from my current lack of access to Kolektiva Dot Social.

Such is life in the Oh So Precious Fediverse, I can imagine the delight that would be […]

https://relph.org/unkolektable/