I don't want to be kind or do any of my hobbies anymore, love hurts, passion hurts, i don't want neither cause both have left nothing but permanent trauma and years of pain, emptiness and hatred for myself and others, i have received almost nothing from them, i want to be an emotionless, self serving asshole, i want to live just using and hurting others the same way they hurt and used and abused me back, i want to be lacking of humanity, I'm not meant for all of this, people are nothing but cruel to me and i still don't get what i did wrong, everybody returns any of my efforts to be kind or show off my art with ignorance, apathy or pain, is this it? I'm better off a combat android, a robot of sorts than a failing, overfeeling flesh abomination.
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π βΉ The 'Arcade' taught me: your heart will always find a way :
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