That was possibly the loveliest Heau-Down I've had this year.
(With the exception of the Heau-Down when Joyfriend J tried to teach me how to handle a firearm.)
All my Boss Lady needs were met:
They decorated my dead money tree (it's a metaphor for the year I've had) for xmas
They made me a Black Manhattan
They suffered for me.
We made out like rabbits, and he said he really likes my uh brain.
Men are so unserious.
Me: What's your relationship style?
Him (M62): Man woman.
Me: Thassit??
The price I'm paying to refresh my Heauxtation. Ugh. Bay area dating (if it can be called that) is just...meh.
Vanilla Coffee Date is back on deck for more coffee on Sunday.
Secret Gramps got waaaay ahead of himself and annoyed me.
Latex Cub also annoyed me, so he's on the back burner.
Poly Perve wants to move our chat off app. Sigh. I sense a pants selfie.
And a new player has stepped onto the mat: I'll call him Zorro Bear (because of his name -- and he's a bear. IYKYK)
Feeld will absolutely be deactivated again by Memorial Day.
2nd coffee date done.
Def older than his profile pic. (I know a 70 yo when I see one.) He also asked ZERO questions about me. Men suck. Seriously, no social skills at all.
I think the train station is where I'll have these from now on. It's a good walk AND Benson is more relaxed because there's less crowding and more birds.
And, really, Benson's comfort is really the only thing that matters here.
Maaan, looks like Awkward Coffee Date dude is in the lead.
I paused my Feeld account.
Feeld: Tell us why you're pausing your account. We hate to see you go!
Me: god cishet dudes are annoying. And you're buggy as hell.
Feeld: anything else?
Me: again, dudes are annoying.
I hope every dating app turns into an echo chamber of priapic men bumping into each other, pinging bots, as the rest of us retreat to our dens with tea, murder mysteries, hobbies, and social skills.
Well that was a quick NO.
Tech
Dominant
MBA
Yuck.
No amount of lederhosen will make that combo not annoying.
I should totally ping the dude who slid into my Feeld notifications wearing lederhosen.
Golf clap, you.
You got my attention.
As I scroll through and hit the unmatch button...
So I've been on Feeld for a few years now, and I think I've gone on...3 dates. Thassit. Three.
That's 1 date a year on average.
That doesn't reflect the pings or likes I've gotten. Gotten hundreds.
But those hundreds became THREE 'oh sure I'll wear my good bra'-worthy opportunities.
If anyone was wondering what vanilla #DatingInTheBay area was like for women like me.
I also think beards are doing ALOT of heavy lifting.
These beards: 🧔🏽
Not these beards: 🚪
As I scroll today's Feeld offerings, I think all the dudes making lists of their many nature adventures need to go IMMEDIATELY to Oakland Animal Services and adopt a dog.
Because clearly that's their ideal companion: loves long hikes, always listens to their stories, ready to drop whatever they're doing to hang, consistent, eats treats from their hand, unquestionably loyal and submissive to the ✌🏾Alpha✌🏾.
OAS would be emptied overnight.
Diligence Jones