@JonnElledge
Bear in mind that I am not the mathematics teacher in my family. But I do know what makes mathematicians's teeth grind. (-:
The #maths involves Karl Freidrich #Gauss's Theorem Egregium that was published in 1827. The 3D-ness, the embedding (of what is actually still only a 2D manifold) within a higher dimensional space, does not matter, and isn't the reason that flat maps of the surface of Terra don't work.
The reason is that a plane has (constant) Gaussian #curvature zero and a sphere has positive Gaussian curvature. It's impossible to have an isometry between two spaces with different Gaussian curvatures. Something always has to give.
A torus is a 2D surface embedded in 3D space, like a sphere. But there are parts of a torus with zero Gaussian curvature, and those parts *can* be projected onto a plane without distortion. Likewise, a cone and a cylinder have constant zero Gaussian curvature and can also be projected onto a plane.
#physics
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