Bodling"Even where the contemplative is not expressly forbidden to follow what he believes to be the inspiration of God (and this not rarely happens), he may feel himself continually and completely at odds with the accepted ideals of those around him. Their spiritual exercises may seem to him to be a bore and waste of time. Their sermons and their conversation may leave him exhausted with a sense of futility: as if he had been pelted with words without meaning. Their choral offices, their excitement over liturgical ceremony and chant may rob him of the delicate taste of an interior manna that is not found in formulas of prayers and exterior rites.
"If only he could be alone and quiet, and remain in the emptiness, darkness, and purposelessness in which God speaks with such overwhelming effect! But no, spiritual lights and nosegays are forced upon his mind, he must think and say words, he must sing 'Alleluias' that somebody else wants him to feel. He must strive to smack his lips on a sweetness which seems to be unutterably coarse and foul: not because of what it aspires to say, but simply because it is secondhand."
Merton, Thomas. The Inner Experience: Notes on Contemplation. Edited and with an Introduction by William H. Shannon. NY: HarperOne, 2003, page 77. (NOTE: Merton wrote this text in 1959)
cratermoon
Margaret Moonshadow
James Bean