LIVING NOW, PLANNING LATER: LESSONS FROM DIE WITH ZERO

I recently finished reading Die With Zero by Bill Perkins. The central idea is that the only guaranteed moment is the one you are living in right now, so the real question becomes: how do you maximize life, experiences, and finances in a way that still leaves your future self-supported?  

It is a provocative idea because the tension between enjoying the present and preparing for the future is real and constant.  

Over time, I’ve learned that for me, balance begins with understanding who you are, where you are, what you value, and how those values show up in your financial choices. When those pieces are unclear, any system, even the good ones, starts to crumble. 

1. One Person’s Meat Is Another Person’s Poison 

Many of us grow up in environments that blend shame, guilt, and unspoken expectations. These forces shape our relationship with money long before we ever earn a paycheque. When the messages around us tell us what we should want, how we should behave, or what a “responsible adult” spends on, it becomes difficult to know what we genuinely like, want, or value. This disconnection breaks our internal compass, leading to misalignment and autopilot habits we would never choose intentionally. 

The first step in creating balance is naming without shame what a good life looks like for you. Not the version you think you should want, or the version your family, friends, or social media celebrate, but the one that fits your actual personality and priorities. The next step is accepting the cost of that vision.  

Every meaningful life has a cost, financial or otherwise. When you accept those costs, you reduce the likelihood of reaching the end of life filled with regret about the things you never allowed yourself to do. 

Ideally, you should look at your bank statement and clearly see your values reflected. Instead, many of us spend and save unintentionally. We follow generic financial scripts—save a million dollars, retire at sixty-five, invest aggressively, deny yourself now and reward yourself later—without pausing to evaluate whether those goals align with the life we want. 

Consider:  

• How would I live if I had one day left? One month? One year? Twenty years? 

Your answers will shift, and the shifts matter. 

• What spending brings guilt or shame? 

• Does that feeling come from misalignment with your own goals, or from messages inherited from others? 

• What trade-offs am I making when I choose to save, spend, or prioritize something? 

Your honest answers shape your financial behavior more than anything else.  

2. Know your numbers (without obsessing) 

My sister once walked into the bank because every month her credit card bill shocked her. She was convinced some digital creature was secretly siphoning her money. The bank representative pulled up her statements, and she was forced to confirm that, yes, she had authorized every single purchase.  

She did not even feel guilty about how she spent—she simply was not in control. Many of those purchases were not intentional, so she did not enjoy them. 

You need to know where your money goes, but it does not need to be complicated. Start with the basics. List your fixed costs: rent, groceries, insurance, debt payments. Then estimate your variable costs: entertainment, dining, and hobbies.  

Pull three to six months of bank and credit card statements and find your averages. This gives you a realistic baseline for what “normal” looks like.  

You do not need to track every cent. Once you understand your baseline, you can make calmer and more informed decisions. 

3. There are seasons 

A major takeaway from Die with Zero is the idea of time buckets, recognizing that life has seasons and each season allows for different types of experiences. As you age, your energy, health, and interests shift. I still enjoy traveling, but the idea of shared bathrooms and cold meals now feels miserable. In my twenties, I tolerated it easily, sometimes even enjoyed it. Instead of traveling frugally with friends during that season, I spent much of that time working toward money goals that ultimately felt hollow. 

Money only matters when it’s connected to a purpose. For me, that purpose now includes being in community, helping my family, and making art I love. 

If your income barely covers essentials, your priority might be building breathing room, a small emergency fund, paying off a high-interest debt, or creating a side stream of income. If you already have savings, then the question becomes whether your spending aligns with your actual goals or whether it’s driven by fear or habit. 

Instead of a lifelong bucket list, create decade lists: experiences and goals for your twenties, thirties, forties, and beyond. This brings clarity and makes financial decisions more meaningful. 

4. Time is an important ingredient 

This is where my perspective diverges slightly from Perkins. He describes a friend who borrows money to travel in his twenties. Perkins argues that “borrowing from your future self” can enhance early adulthood if the debt is modest and not high interest.  

I understand the logic, but my bias is different: for nonessential expenses, if you cannot afford something, you should generally avoid borrowing to make it happen. 

Many people already struggle with debt and low savings, and catching up later becomes unrealistic. Time itself is powerful. The earlier you start saving or investing, the less you have to contribute because compounding does most of the work.  

For example, someone who saves $200 per month from age 25 to 35 and then stops can end up with more at retirement than someone who starts at thirty-five and saves until 65. Time multiplies effort in a way nothing else can. 

5. Once you set your intention, automate it 

James Clear’s Atomic Habits emphasizes removing friction. If your goal is to save, automate your transfers so money moves into savings or investments before you can touch it. Automation protects you from indecision, forgetfulness and emotional decision-making. You don’t need to check accounts constantly or react to every market dip. Review your plan once or twice a year, or when major life changes occur, but avoid endless tinkering. Consistency, not perfection, is what makes the difference.  

6. Make space for joy 

The goal is not money itself but what money allows: time with family, meaningful experiences, generosity, creativity or peace. Plan joy with the same seriousness you plan savings. Budget for dinner, the trip, the celebration. Remove the guilt and the outside opinions. You can live in the present and prepare for the future if you define what “enough” looks like for both. 

#billPerkins #CHIDINMAMBANEFO #Column #dieWithZero #fixedCosts #personalFinances #poison #selfImprovement #severance #spareChange

SOCIAL MEDIA AND OUR FINACIAL MINDSETS

I often joke that if I were made king of the world, my only act would be to ban social media before quickly renouncing the throne. It’s a joke most of the time—except when it isn’t (all the time). I dislike the medium for many reasons, and if you catch me outside with time to spare, I’ll gladly list them all. For now, I want to focus on just one: the way social media affects our financial health. In my last piece, I mentioned that one thing I wish I had done in my early 20s was leave social media behind.  

The Medium is the Message  

Social media is inextricable from our lives now, so it’s easy to forget what it’s made of and designed for. Beneath all the communication is a relentless stream of content engineered to overwhelm, to keep us consuming. Unlike other mediums which allow space for reflection and doubt around the information being presented, social media rewards speed and confidence. It thrives on sharp, brash soundbites that hook our nervous system and attention through fear or anger.  

This isn’t to say there’s no good financial advice on TikTok or Instagram—there is—but the medium matters. A book like The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel or I Will Teach You to Be Rich by Ramit Sethi allows the space to close the book after a chapter, a sentence, or a word to reflect on if what is being presented is accurate and if it applies to your unique situation. On TikTok, the next video plays before you’ve had a chance to process.  

Attention  

How do you even know what matters to you?   

I grew up with opinionated parents—whenever I came to them excited about an idea, they’d quickly suggest a dozen ways to “make it better,” usually without fully understanding what I was trying to do (although they would disagree). I’d leave the conversation feeling overwhelmed, paralyzed.   

This is what social media feels like to me. You want to get better at money so you look up content, and you are inundated with five million opinions, usually conflicting and impersonal, about what you should do right now!   

But healthy money habits require solitude, adjustiment and curiosity. They require reclaiming your attention. How many times have you been down a wormhole on the internet only to come up feeling loopy about the four hour scrolling session? You have to step back from the noise, ask yourself what matters and get clear on your own priorities. Once you have that clarity, it becomes easier to ignore the fear-driven side of personal finance content. The part that pushes FOMO and instant gratification.  

Our Financial Goals are Often Communal  

One of my best friends lives in the building across from me, and another is my roommate. Between us, we own three cars—purchased at different points in our lives when driving was more efficient due to the poor public transportation options. Each car came with the same story: at first, the convenience, then the sharp burden of maintenance costs. I’ve wondered what life would look if we thought of some of these things as communal versus individual goals.  

Lately, I’ve become a kind of evangelist in my friend group. Not about religion but about living together. Every time we gather, the conversation turns to despair: How will we ever afford homes, families, stability, in an economy that feels like it’s always crumbling?  

And while those fears are valid, I try to remind us of something else our parents had: community.  

Growing up, there was always an aunt, uncle, or grandparent nearby. A neighbour’s parent picked us up from school and made sure we were fed before our parents returned from their long days at work. Families overlapped; responsibilities were shared. That communal safety net made financial goals more sustainable.  

Those structures are weaker today. Social media didn’t cause that loss, but it amplified it. It flattened our relationships, made us strangers, and fed on our loneliness. I often wonder: what if we organized life differently? What if we valued community over career growth, connection over moving in search of more pay? What if we chose to live with, and for, the people we love—rather than isolating ourselves in single-family boxes? 

#CHIDINMAMBANEFO #Finance #financialGoals #iWillTeachYouToBeRich #JessiWood #mediumIsTheMessage #personalFinance #psychologyOfMoney

GROWING AWAY FROM FINANCIAL GUILT

I still remember the first time I was scared of running out of money. I was 16, in the back of a cab running late to the airport, watching the meter jump higher and higher and silently praying my debit card wouldn’t decline at the end.  

When the driver tore off the receipt, handed it to me, and wished me safe travels, the relief that washed over me is hard to describe.  

It wasn’t just about the ride—it was the first time I realized just how tight things were, how much my parents were sacrificing to send me abroad, and how different life felt when money wasn’t something I could ignore or defer to my parents on.   

That whole first year in Canada, I dreaded checking my bank account. I’d swipe my card and cross my fingers, and completely avoided opening my online banking app.  

It wasn’t because I was reckless, I was actually quite frugal to a fault maybe. But no matter how careful I was, the numbers always told the same depressing truth:. I simply didn’t have enough and I didn’t feel good asking my parents to give more.   

Later in college, things shifted. I started studying finance, and I absorbed every lesson I could about money.  

I became almost obsessive. Every dollar that didn’t go to rent, food, or bills was saved or invested.   

If I spent money on something “non-essential,” I felt like I was robbing my future self. My younger self never checked her bank account; my college self checked it constantly.  

Now, after working in finance through my 20s, I’ve tried to loosen my grip. I’ve realized that being “good with money” isn’t about constant vigilance or sacrifice—it’s about understanding what really matters. Looking back, there are four things that would have made my experience so much better.   

1. Sometimes you just don’t have enough money.  

At 16, I thought my anxiety meant I was failing at budgeting. If I had been smarter, more disciplined, less indulgent, surely I wouldn’t feel this constant shortage. But the truth was I simply didn’t have enough to cover my bills.  

That realization would have spared me a lot of shame. Sometimes it’s just math. The stress of not having enough is already heavy enough without layering guilt on top.  

2. Ruminating over every dollar doesn’t make you good at money.  

In college, my friends would invite me to (insert any activity here) and I would spend so much time debating with myself whether it was worth it. I missed out on so many fun connections and moments.  

A lot of early financial advice I absorbed glorified extreme frugality: make your coffee at home, never eat out, cut out every “unnecessary” expense. I lived by that for years, until I came across Ramit Sethi’s work on building a “rich life.”  

His point was simple: spend on the things that truly matter to you, cut ruthlessly on the things that don’t, and stop letting guilt dictate every purchase.  

That made such a huge difference in my life. I made space for more joy generosity and community, and I noticed how much lighter and more grounded I felt when I wasn’t constantly worried about spending because I had clarified what was meaningful to me.   

3. Leave social media sooner.  

Outside of its deleterious impact on our sense of community, ability to foster productive conversations and loneliness, social media truly sucks in that it hinders your ability to define for yourself what makes you happy. I would describe myself as a somewhat self assured person but I spent a lot of my early 20’s feeling less than.  

Social media has a way of hijacking your definition of success. It tells you what to want before you even realize it’s happening. Stepping back gave me space to ask a more important question: What do I actually want? What makes me happy, separate from the noise?  

4. Compound interest really does feel like magic.  

With money, the idea is simple: when you save or invest, your money earns returns. Then those returns start earning returns themselves. Over time, the effect snowballs. A small, consistent effort made early grows into something surprisingly big.  

But compound interest isn’t just about investing, it’s also about life. Whether it’s building skills, improving health, or deepening relationships, time and consistency matter more than intensity. You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to keep going.  

Not long ago, I came across a bank statement I had submitted for immigration six years earlier. Looking at it, I was struck by how different my situation was back then. It’s so easy to forget how far you’ve come or to underestimate how much can change over time.   

The future is always hard to picture, but progress has a way of showing up quietly, almost invisibly, until suddenly it’s undeniable.  

Looking back, I can see how much of my relationship with money has been shaped not just by numbers, but by trying, failing and showing up.  

If I could go back to that 16-year-old in the airport cab, I’d tell her that money is a tool, not a test or the end all be all. How you use it should serve the life you actually want, not the one the world tells you to chase. 

#adolescence #bankStatement #Budgeting #buildingSkills #CHIDINMAMBANEFO #deepeningRelationships #Finance #Frugal #goodWithMoney #Immigration #improvingHealth #internationalStudents #Money #personalFinances #ramitSethi #socialMedia