"Sir, I have bad news."
"Give it to me straight, doctor. Do I have cancer?"
"No, it is much worse?"
"Worse? What is it?"
"The brain biopsy revealed that a family of birds are nesting in your cranium."
"Well, that explains why people call me 'bird brain.'"
I'm going to get a Thanksgiving MRI on Saturday.
"What? You get MRIs every Thanksgiving???"
Of course... 
No, it was just scheduled for Saturday.
I've just filled the electronic form asking for everything under the sun to make sure you don't have metal in your body.
I answered "no" to everything.
The thing is... I do have metal in my body.
It is a titanium plug that was installed to plug the hole in my head after my brain biopsy.
Now, titanium is a metal, but it does not cause issues for the MRI, except that the technicians can clearly see it.
Oh, fun fact. They also ask for surgical history. If someone asks for a surgical history, I'm going to give them my entire surgical history. I went to my "Summary of Medical History" file, copied the surgical history, went back to try to paste it in, and failed. Well, their field is too small. So I wrote in the field:
"your field is too small."
Yep. Give me a form I cannot fill, and I'm going to fill it in ways that you did not anticipate.
I don't know if I'm going to get music this time. One time I asked for Melissa Horn, and they were able to find her, but the tech was all worried after the MRI because Melissa Horn sings in Swedish, and the tech was not sure if he got the right artist.
#cancer #BrainBiopsy #MRI #titanium #metal #SurgicalHistory #forms #SmallFields #Swedish #MelissaHorn
I was reading an article about full-body MRIs saying they take roughly one hour.
A brain, cervical spine and spinal column MRI never took less than 1.5 hours for me. They were not even scanning my entire body.
Some possibilities:
* Those full-body MRIs are done with machines that operate much faster than the machines I've been in. I'm not sure why these machines would not be in more common usage.
* The operators doing a full-body scan do a half-assed job because they know that 1 hour is pushing it. (There's a difference between accepting a 1.5 hour scan because your life literally depends on it (my case) versus doing a full-body scan after a pedicure and before horseback riding because reasons (the case of those celebrities that can afford full-body scans).)
* The article is pulling numbers out of thin air.
Maybe a #radiologist has a clue about the discrepancy I'm seeing here.
(Oh, also MRIs are quite capable of missing cancer. I had MRIs galore during my cancer. They saw something but could not identify it. I had a PET scan that missed my tumor. Then I had a brain biopsy that found my tumor, and another PET that confirmed what we already knew.)
Your Autistic Life FR/EN/ES
Your Autistic Life