Wrestling with the weight of this counselling degree. Marking is exceptionally rigorous, with results sitting between 60% and 65%. Feedback indicates strong research and depth of reading, yet critiques my critical evaluation for being overly clinical, resembling a formal report rather than a reflective case study.
Practical assessments present significant barriers. I have been penalised for a lack of nodding, despite my blindness and prior discussions with the lecturer regarding the inauthenticity of performing neurotypical non-verbals. Attempting to "learn" the frequency and timing of a visual cue feels forced and performative. Furthermore, the skill expectations appear calibrated for advanced students rather than those in their first three units.
The marking approach is triggering significant trauma related to past invalidation. While I am sitting with these emotions, the path forward is unclear. Accessibility remains a constant battle, from securing basic accommodations to navigating inaccessible Kindle textbooks. I shall complete these units, but my future in this course remains uncertain.
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