Schon seit längerer Zeit hatten wir festgestellt, dass für Menschen mit Lernschwierigkeiten nicht besonders viel Material zu queeren Themen erhältlich ist. Und zum asexuellen Spektrum? Da gab und gibt es noch mal weniger.

Und es ist ja auch schwierig zu erklären. Asexualität als sexuelle Orientierung ist unbekannt, und das mit dem Spektrum erfordert schon auf Standardsprache einiges an Platz. Wie vermittelt man das Thema nun Personen, die Schwierigkeiten mit dem Lesen haben? Oder die mit Abstraktionen hadern?

Nach einigen Runden mit unserer Übersetzerin Sarah Riehle sind wir dieses Jahr endlich fertig geworden. Es gibt ein PDF! Ihr könnt es hier herunterladen: https://aktivista.net/links/asexualitaet-in-leichter-sprache/
Sobald es auch ein gedrucktes Heft gibt, sagen wir noch mal Bescheid.
#asexuell #asexualität #asexualspectrum #asexuellesspektrum #leichtesprache

I haven’t really discussed my sexuality here but I think it’s time to process that as well. The thing is that I’m not sure where I am. I used to think I’m just your ordinary allosexual person but that doesn’t seem right.

I do get attracted (mainly to female presenting) people but lately I’ve wondered if that’s sexual or aesthetic attraction. What’s the difference? When I was single, I wanted to find someone so bad but thinking back, I’m more and more leaning towards it being about romance, not sex. What I know is that I’m not aro. Having a romantic relationship is very important to me.

Once I’m in a relationship I don’t feel crushes towards other people, it’s just about that one person. Ok, there was one small crush when I was on a longer trip abroad, and that was weeeird. But was it sexual? Thinking about that, it might’ve been aesthetic in nature, as well as wanting to learn about that person. Now that I write this, it seems clear to me: it wasn't sexual.

I’ve never even entertained the idea of actually cheating, I’ve always been faithful. It doesn’t stop me from wondering what it would feel like with another person, or having fantasies when masturbating.

I masturbate and consume porn. Would I want to have sex with people I see in porn? Sure, I guess, on the level of principle. But if I now think about having to meet someone else for a sexual encounter, I don’t like the idea. Not sure why exactly -- is it about my sexuality or maybe about meeting people for new things as an autistic person being, well, difficult? Not that I need to think about it in my situation, for that matter.

I’ve been sexually active in my relationships and I really enjoy it when it takes place. With my wife, the first couple of years we were very active. However, over the years, it’s gotten rarer. Of course, that’s quite normal in a long relationship.

What makes it interesting is that there was a definite change after I understood I’m non-binary. It’s as if I got rid of the burden of having to want sex when I was a guy, and now that I know I’m not a guy, the needs are considerably lower. What complicates my thinking is that I’m at that age when my testosterone levels are getting lower and lower so it might be connected to that. But is it?

I guess I’m somewhere on the asexual spectrum but what does it really mean? I’ve tried to read about the topic but I don’t know. Many concepts seem blurry to me. What are your thoughts on this? Any pointers and experiences are appreciated!

#asexual #AsexualSpectrum #GreyAsexual #NonBinary

Author Spotlight: Queer Romance Author A.J. Barlowe

A. J. Barlowe (they/them) is an author, reader, and cat parent.

They write queer stories that deal with difficult subjects, but always with the overarching theme of hope, healing, and the power of human connection.

Author Links:

Book link: books2read.com/ASOR

Insta/tiktok: @aj_barlowe

What provided the seeds of your slowburn m/m novel,  A Series of Rooms, and can you describe your writing process from that first idea to your first draft to your revised version to published final product? What did that process look like for you?

The seeds of this story have lived in my head & my heart for about a decade. The initial spark came about from a throwaway line in a television show, about an undercover cop who spend one night with a trafficking victim in order to maintain his cover, and they just spent the whole night talking. Something about the idea of that momentary reprieve, a single night of safety in an otherwise hellish existence, really stuck with me.

The characters and the story have taken different shapes over the years I spent mapping it out, but the basic premise was always the same: a survivor trapped in a terrible situation, a lonely patron desperate for companionship, and a gentle, patient love that blooms solely out of an emotional connection. Two strangers at a crossroads of isolation and yearning for more from life.

The first draft shares a similar framework to the final product, but there were certainly a lot of changes along the way (including a 50% word count reduction—oops). I think the biggest change revolved around the circumstances of Jonah’s captivity. The thing I obsessed over the most in editing/rewriting was trying to ensure that his story was not sensationalized or gratuitous.

That was always the most important factor to get right. I wrote most of the first draft in 2020 during quarantine, and the following four years saw me in various stages of pulling my hair out to make sure I was putting out a story I could stand behind.

A Series of Rooms deals with heavy topics of sex trafficking, SA, and healing from trauma through healthy relationships. What did you draw upon for these themes, and how did you go about tackling them sensitively in your novel?

I’ve always used writing as a way of dealing with my own experiences. The exact circumstances of my story are not a direct reflection of my own—this certainly isn’t autobiographical.

But there are very personal pieces of my own story inextricably woven into these characters, and certain scenes that felt like they were plucked directly from my heart.

I answered this a little bit in the previous question, but to elaborate on what the several-year journey looked like in terms of due diligence: I did lots and lots of research. Some of that research revolved around legal system logistics (and about how broken that system is). But a lot of it was reading firsthand accounts of male survivors.

What kinds of queer rep can be found in A Series of Rooms, and can you elaborate a little on the demisexual rep for those unfamiliar with the spectrum of asexuality? 

Gay and demisexual representation! For those who are unfamiliar, demisexual is a label that falls somewhere on the asexual spectrum.

On a very simplistic level, it means that someone’s sexual attraction isn’t rooted in physical appearance or first impressions, that they only really get to that level with someone after an emotional connection has been formed.

Although I don’t use the label outright in the story (as I am not very good with assigning myself labels in real life), it is very clear that Liam identifies with this term. I think this is one of many factors that make him a safe person in Jonah’s eyes, when they are first walking that teetering line of trust. Jonah is used to being viewed as a sexual object, and Liam keeps subverting those expectations at every term. He truly only wants to get to know him as a person before their relationship resembles anything physical.

What are your favourite tropes in queer romance to read, and what are your favourite tropes to write?

I’m a sucker for hurt/comfort, always. Both reading and writing. In one of my promotional graphics or A Series of Rooms, I listed a trope of “the horrors of being treated gently for the first time,” and I feel like that really sums up my taste in a nutshell.

How have readers responded to your work and can you share a few of your favourite comments/reviews that you’ve received?

I have been absolutely blown away by the reader response to this story. It’s my very first novel, and I published independently, so I knew there was a very real chance that this book wouldn’t make it outside of a very niche circle of friends.

I’m very lucky to be able to say it has blown my expectations out of the water. I had a thousand sales in my first month, which was genuinely more than I expected to get in a lifetime.

The people in the social media book spaces have been especially kind to me. It’s tough to pick only a few of the lovely comments, but here are some that really stuck with me:

“This is a story about two young men desperate to mean something to someone. Though strangers at first, Liam immediately sees Jonah’s pain and doesn’t look away.” – @reading_oceanside (IG)

“Intensely emotional–jarring–but vividly and uniquely gorgeous.” – @cara.reads.all.the.books (IG)

“The darkness of what Jonah goes through is expertly balanced by the softness Liam shows him. There were times I cried and raged, but I was ultimately left with hope for humanity and the kindness we are capable of showing each other.” – @elliot.roi.reads (IG)

What can people look out for from you – anything coming soon?

I am currently working simultaneously on a couple of stories, but trying to keep a lid on the details… at least for a little bit longer. Hoping to meet my word count threshold for an announcement by the end of March!

Nach inzwischen 47 Folgen widmen Noir, Finn und Delfin sich in Folge 48 endlich einmal dem asexuellen Spektrum. Sie sprechen über die Definition von Asexualität, das Spektrum ,erklären ein paar Label und einiges mehr.

https://inspektren.eu/48-was-ist-eigentlich-das-asexuelle-spektrum

#asexualität #AsexuellesSpektrum #AsexualAcey #ChibiStyle #CopicMarkerArt #InSpektrenPodcast #demisexualität #fraysexualität #aegosexualität #grauasexualität #cupiosexualität #asexuality #AsexualSpectrum

Noch bis zum 31. März könnt ihr Kurzgeschichten mit a*spec Repräsentation für die Anthologie „Beweisstück A – Neue Indizien“ einreichen.
@aktivista_net hat die auf diesen Sharepics schon einige Informationen für euch zusammengefasst und wenn ihr jetzt Lust habt zu schreiben, dann schaut auch hier bei der Ausschreibung auf Carmilla DeWinters Blog vorbei.
https://carmilladewinter.com/2022/10/27/ausschreibung-beweisstuck-a-neue-indizien/

#Aktivista #Asexualität #AsexuelleSpektrum #Aromantik #AromantischesSpektrum #demisexuell #graysexuell #greysexuell #Grauasexuell #asexuality #demisexual #aceflux #grayace #greyace #greysexual #graysexual #asexualspectrum #aromanticspectrum #aspec #AceVisibility #queerbookstagram #bookstagram #bookstagramgermany