RandomBaywatch#DavidHasselhoff #JanelParrish
S10E02 "Mahalo Hawaii"
#BaywatchHawaii #RandomBaywatch #lvdlpx #Baywatch #Beauty #BaywatchBabes #Hawaii #Sexy #Lifeguards #SexyLifeguards #SideEye #Acrimony #EyeCandy #WaterSafety #MahaloHawaii
jpTyler Perry’s Acrimony thinks you’re too dumb to know what “acrimony” means — and somehow that’s not even its worst offense. A movie that insults its audience, its characters, and basic logic in equal measure. Flashbacks, voice-over, a deadly steering wheel, and a yacht called “Mrs. Gayle.” You can’t make this stuff up… but Perry did.
#FilmCriticism #MovieReview #TylerPerry #Acrimony #CinemaFail #UnintentionalComedy #BadMovies #MovieAnalysis #CriticalReview
https://ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2022/11/06/acrimony/
#FilmCriticism #MovieReview #TylerPerry #Acrimony #CinemaFail #UnintentionalComedy #BadMovies #MovieAnalysis #CriticalReview
https://ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2022/11/06/acrimony/
90% of Everything is CrapAcrimony (2018): Fool Me Once, Shame on You. Fool Me Eighteen Years…
It’s always a bad sign when the first thing we see in a movie is the definition of its title. It’s bad because it assumes we’re either too dumb to know what the word acrimony means (hardly a ten-dollar word, at that) or too lazy to look it up — and why would we want to watch a film tailor-made for an audience of jackoffs?
If Perry thinks acrimony is too lofty a word, maybe he should’ve gone with something more fitting — like Hysteria. Or Garbage. Then again, if he had a little more confidence in his own storytelling skills, he probably wouldn’t feel the need to insult the viewer’s intelligence right out of the gate. But artistic insecurity tends to come with a lack of talent.
But I digress. Acrimony is the strange tale of Melinda (Taraji P. Henson), a woman whose self-destructive loyalty to deadbeat husband Robert Gayle (Lyriq Bent) turns obsessive — and not in the way the movie thinks. She puts up with him for 18 years, and when she finally divorces him, his cockamamie invention — a self-charging battery he calls “Gayle Force Wind” (because apparently even his business sense runs on hot air) — becomes an overnight sensation, turning Robert into a wealthy man and Melinda into a vindictive wreck who feels he owes her everything he promised way back when. Including a yacht he was going to call the “Mrs. Gayle.” (The Mrs. Gayle? Really? What’s wrong with the Melinda? But more on that later.)
Melinda and Robert meet in college. He helps her study for a history test — which she fails anyway. No wonder, considering Robert’s a mechanical engineering student. Clearly, he’s full of shit, and she knows it. Not just with the benefit of hindsight (the movie is told in flashback, complete with voice-over narration — flashbacks, v/o, character narrating her own idiocy: check, check, and check), but even right then and there. As she puts it:
“You ever get that feeling when a man is telling you something, and you know it’s bullshit, but you just go with it? … Well, I knew this was bullshit, and I tried to go with it.”
The question is, why does she keep going with it? To quote Stephen King: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, shame on both of us.” But is Robert even fooling her, really?
Melinda’s mother dies (we hear about her exactly twice — the second time, a full twenty seconds after the first, is the announcement of her death). Robert shows up at the wake, pays his respects, and leaves. Melinda follows him, offers him a ride to his house — which turns out to be an RV — and once there, invites herself in. But after she jumps in his pants entirely of her own volition, this is how she narrates it:
“My mother wasn’t even cold in the ground yet, and there I was. What kind of man takes advantage of a girl’s grief, huh? I’ll tell you. A low-life maggot of a motherfucker, that’s who. He had to know that grief can leave you open to not knowing yourself at all.”
Let’s ponder that for a second. “He had to know that grief can leave you open to not knowing yourself at all.” Did he really have to know that, though? Does anyone? Is that even a knowable thing?
Later, when Robert’s caught cheating on her in his RV, Melinda drives over and T-bones the thing, flipping it over. She takes the brunt of the impact:
“I slammed my body against the steering wheel so hard. Internal bleeding. And worse, ruptured ovaries. A full hysterectomy, and I wasn’t even 21 years old. Children, never.”
Apparently, crashing your car can rupture your ovaries. Who knew? Besides Perry, that is. Even if this were physically possible — and given the location of the ovaries relative to the steering wheel, I’m not too sure — how exactly is it his fault? Also: adoption? Surrogacy? IVF? There are several ways they could’ve had kids after she forgives him and marries him (which, naturally, she does).
If this weren’t played deathly straight, it could be prime material for a farce. I kept picturing something like Carl Reiner’s The Jerk. The only comedy here, though, is unintentional. Like when Robert remarries and finally buys the yacht of his dreams — and names it, just as he once promised Melinda, the “Mrs. Gayle.” She’s no longer Mrs. Gayle, but hey, technically correct.
Now, if Perry had any sense of humor, Robert would’ve christened the boat the Mrs. Gayle 2.
Works Cited
King, Stephen. The Colorado Kid. Hard Case Crime, 2005.
Tyler Perry’s Acrimony. Directed by Tyler Perry, performances by Taraji P. Henson and Lyriq Bent, Lionsgate, 2018.
Related
S10E02 "Mahalo Hawaii"
#BaywatchHawaii #RandomBaywatch #lvdlpx #Baywatch #Beauty #Biker #BaywatchBabes #Hawaii #Sexy #Lifeguards #SexyLifeguards #SideEye #Acrimony #EyeCandy #WaterSafety #MahaloHawaii
RandomBaywatchS10E02 "Mahalo Hawaii"
#BaywatchHawaii #RandomBaywatch #lvdlpx #Baywatch #Beauty #Biker #BaywatchBabes #Hawaii #Sexy #Lifeguards #SexyLifeguards #SideEye #Acrimony #EyeCandy #WaterSafety #MahaloHawaii
Filmizleilk
#StacyKamano #JasonMomoa #BrookeBurns
S10E02 "Mahalo Hawaii"
#BaywatchHawaii #RandomBaywatch #lvdlpx #Baywatch #Beauty #Biker #BaywatchBabes #Hawaii #Sexy #Lifeguards #SexyLifeguards #SideEye #Acrimony #EyeCandy #WaterSafety #MahaloHawaii
The Hollywood ReporterTaylor Polidore Williams, Crystle Stewart Become Entangled in New ‘Beauty in Black’ Trailer From Tyler Perry
#TV #TVNews #Acrimony #Netflix #TylerPerry
Taylor Polidore Williams, Crystle Stewart Become Entangled in New ‘Beauty in Black’ Trailer From Tyler Perry
Two strong women, one a successful businesswoman and the other a struggling stripper, become entangled in sex, scandal and corporate intrigue in the Netflix drama releasing in two parts.
