some shit is about to go down

they’re just begging for a car chase

There’s nothing like coming home from a long, hard day at work, and finding your mother-in-law’s vehicle parked outside.

“Ma’am, my partner and I have done a thorough inspection of your property, and I’m afraid you’re going to need a new flowerbed, several bushes, and you will most likely need to reseed the lawn. If you want, we can work up an estimate and get back to you.”

grandpa said he didn’t want a fuss

it’s a single burnt nugget on stale bread wrapped in a list of all the ways you’ve disappointed your parents

"Hey Charlie, come here."
"I'm here, is the coast clear?"
"I think so, call Pete."
"Pete, come here."
"I'm here, is the coast clear?"
"We think so, call Frank."
"Frank, come here."
"I'm here, is the coast clear?"

“I don’t know why you don’t just leave him, Elaine.”

“Keep pouring, Ann. You’re not gonna BELIEVE what your dog did today.”