Still kind of burnt out today, crawling out of shutting down.

I think the lesson here is a commute into the city, if required daily, is going to be a bad idea. For now.

There are a lot of things I'd like to be able to do, and with practice, probably will.

I need to be patient with myself.

Well its been awhile since I posted here, I thought I'd lost access to this account. I guess I didn't for now, so yay.

A lot has changed in my day to day life, for the better. I can trace it all back to getting sober and dealing with the problems I had been ignoring.

There are still dysphoria days, but now I know why I feel so miserable and have healthy ways of soothing or distracting myself. There are still days when its stressful and I dissociate, but, coming back to earth is not as jarring and there is no wreckage -- this is a step forward.

Thinking just 2 years ago, I was so locked in my head, trapped in my perceptions of others' thoughts that I could not stand to look in a mirror at myself, I am so grateful to be where I am now.

I am trying to forgive my parents because I don't want to carry that baggage around forever. Time will help temper my anger, I hope.

I am so grateful to each one of you that has shared a part of yourself and your journey, and your struggles, with me. I could not have gotten to where I am today without the kindness you showed me. Thank you.

So its been awhile since we talked here, and I thought maybe an update was warranted given I include my Mastodon info in my birb handle..

So, I'm definitely not agender.

I am very cognizant of when I said stuff and there was a bit of an awkward pause. Thank you for letting me figure myself out and then not making me feel terrible about it.

This has meant so much to me.

ps, big into unicorns now.

Good Talk.

there was definitely something I was supposed to be doing, that I am not doing, as a way of doing something else

it might be working....dunno yet, too early to tell