there's a kid somewhere in texas who can tell you when you'll die. he sits in a lawn chair in unkempt malls on the outskirts of austen most saturdays and charges whatever you're willing to pay. he stares at you for a minute like he's trying to focus on stars in the night sky then scribbles down a time on a sticky note. his face is hard to read and he doesn't smile much. he dresses in plain worn clothes that smell like cigarettes. he has a date 60 years in the future tattooed on his arm.

the german sex machine

tech bros be like "of course there is no inherit gender bias in my workplace" and then have a moldy office fleshlight that they have to fuck on fridays in the company meeting if earnings last quarter don't go up by at least 25%

google.com whitest kids you know awesome edition unlimited blue ray mega disk seasnons 1-5 free donwnload whiteset kids you nknwo kids ouy know

a lot of sick motherfuckers on here posting like their life depends on it.

experimenting with content warnings

don't trust a guy called "smelly john". i hired this creep to stink up my buddy's bachelor party. i let him know i was expecting something rancid something that could burn your eyes and get stuck to the furniture. guy shows up smelling like he just took a shower with dove ultra fresh 2 in 1 body wash. breath like Listerine and mint toothpaste. dressed to the 9s. man had a hint of rosemary to him. we kicked him out after 5 minutes. waste of my fucking time.

met the real life reddit snoo alien the other day. he was in one of those stupid little places that has like the gay pancakes and the sex ice cream and whatnot. he was clearly wasted and very loudly asking the server to put "a little extra cream in the ice cream if you get what i mean". they threw him out and he sat on the curb and i decided to sit and talk with him for a bit. he told me he was contemplating suicide. he was telling this long story but i had to go the the doctors so i left.

russian mind soldiers;, hacking our phones, stealing our digital armour..