Mastodawn

@npspock For me the biggest impact is exactly what you described, the exhaustion at the end of the day is staggering. I literally have to just sit for about an hour to decompress. Hoping it will get better with time though. I yearn for a world full of neurodivergent people where I can just be myself.

Mr. Spock Jan 31

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Art Brew Jan 31

@npspock you are seen by me at least. There will be thousands of others. You are stronger than you imagine. Please keep posting cos you have no idea how many people it might help with similar problems.
Ok the above seems more heavy than I meant it to be. You do you, sorry I come across so badly, it was meant with love.

Mr. Spock Jan 30

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Nerviest Initial Jan 30

@npspock
Can you move away from those things more gradually than going cold turkey? Maybe switch to low-fat milk and high protein bread first, to make it easier to make a small change multiple times than a large change all at once?

(Disclaimer: I'm not autistic as far as I know, so my ADHD might not be the same as what you're experiencing. Also, I often find that I can't do anything but totally remove things from my life; moderation frequently doesn't work for me. I'm not sure whether that's ADHD-related or just the way I am.)

Mr. Spock Jan 30

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Flesh & bone by the telephone Jan 30

@npspock Yes! Feeling understood and knowing others experience similar things has been soooooo helpful for me too!

Long before realizing I was AuDHD I knew I always did things big... I now understand that I do that to manage my brain.

I know that small things are difficult to maintain focus on, but big massive disruptive things aren't. So, I turn simple small things into big disruptive things when they are important to me.

Mr. Spock Jan 30

How do #Audhd adults deal with the need to change something you do since you were a child?
I found out I'm #neurodivergent less than a year ago (though I guess I always knew), and recently high colesterol prompted changes in diet. My breakfast AND dinner have been chocolate milk and bread since I was a kid, and now I need to reduce those to a minimum.
I'm feeling exhausted trying to find suitable alternatives, not having my routine is making me nuts.

Mr. Spock Jun 5, 2023

Last Saturday was my 4th kyu graduation exam in #Shotokan #Karate.
I know I didn't make any major mistake, at least nothing that I could notice. Examiner usually points out mistakes in the end, this time said I aced it.
Usually #ImposterSyndrome pops up right about now, to tell me it was luck.
But fuck it, this time I don't care. I practiced hard and results came. It wasn't luck, it was hard work.

And if the time comes when IS tells me otherwise, I hope I'll come back and read this post.

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Mr. Spock Feb 3, 2023

Is it bad that, just this once, I actually wanted to win?
That for just this once, I actually wanted to go against someone else besides myself.
This is not me, but boy, did it felt good.

5/5

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Mr. Spock Feb 3, 2023

Fast forward to last month.
Another tournament, and this time, I went head to head against her, both performing the same kata at the same time for the same judges...
And I won.

While I compete solely for myself, I must confess I took extra pleasure in beating a 2º Dan sensei, current national champion, with her own preferred kata.

I did lose with the other members of my group, a 3º dan and a 4º dan. So did she. I won 1 kata, lost 2. She lost the 3 of them.

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Mr. Spock Feb 3, 2023

I ignored her at the time, but truth is it pissed me off that she'd even suggest that. I started in karate in my 40s and have been working my butt off to get to where I am. When it comes to tournaments, I'm not interested so much in medals, but I do want the pressure of the tournament, as it helps keeping myself on the edge and keep trying to get better. Basically, I compete against myself. Having an adversary is just part of the rules, but it's not against them I'm performing.

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Mr. Spock Feb 3, 2023

The rules were explained to all members.
One of the 40+ members, sensei and owner of a rival dojo (2º Dan), said nothing when the rules were explained, but went on to Facebook to say how she thought there was something fishy and that my sensei had probably lied on my tournament application to make it easier for me to win (I got a 2nd place by the way).