we need a disney princess who eats beef jerky and masturbates

I have the rhythm of a shopping buggy with an errant wheel.

Coffee must be paranoid, getting mugged every day.

1989: Make sure to see the Rolling Stones. This is probably their last tour.

me: they’re just-
wife: don’t say it
me: ...
wife: i mean it
me: ...
wife: ...
me: lion there

Starting to smell a lot like Xmas

How is it I haven't seen this meme here yet?

Welcome to middle age where you say things like "I have expensive taste in pens."