560 Followers
471 Following
768 Posts
Sooo, nipples huh? Hmm... No sir I don't think I have any use for rubber nipples
we need a disney princess who eats beef jerky and masturbates
I have the rhythm of a shopping buggy with an errant wheel.
Coffee must be paranoid, getting mugged every day.
1989: Make sure to see the Rolling Stones. This is probably their last tour.
me: they’re just-
wife: don’t say it
me: ...
wife: i mean it
me: ...
wife: ...
me: lion there
Starting to smell a lot like Xmas
How is it I haven't seen this meme here yet?
Welcome to middle age where you say things like "I have expensive taste in pens."

I think what we all need right now is a giant group hug

And a squeeze

Maybe a fruity beverage with a little umbrella

And a lottery win

All I want for Christmas is to stick a superhero landing without my girlfriend having to call 911.